JOHN CARTER

John Carter (2012)
Grade: B-
Starring: Taylor Kitsch, Lynn Collins, Mark Strong, Dominic West, Ciaran Hinds, and Daryl Sabara, with Willem Dafoe, Samantha Morton and Thomas Haden Church
PREMISE: An outlaw transported to Mars in the late 1860s finds himself in the middle of a war between the sophisticated alien species’ that rule the planet.

RATED PG-13 for sci-fi action violence and brief disturbing images

Two quick thoughts about the new Disney film John Carter:
1) It will seem pretty familiar to all but the most casual moviegoers. The basic storyline and themes closely resemble those of James Cameron’s Avatar, and it also bears noticeable similarities to numerous other films, including The Planet of the Apes, Star Wars, and The Matrix.
2) It will probably die a quick death at the box office. Made for a reported $250 million, it is unfortunately highly unlikely to win back that hefty budget, given that the title sucks, it’s based on a book no one’s heard of (Edgar Rice Burrough’s ‘A Princess of Mars’), it doesn’t feature any particularly recognizable stars, it’s currently competing with Dr. Seuss’ The Lorax for people’s money, and it will be totally forgotten as soon as The Hunger Games hits theaters in two weeks.

Nonetheless, I walked out of John Carter nothing short of thrilled. Was it cliché? Yes. Could it have been better? Of course. Did I guess many key lines of dialogue, and many key plot points, just before they happened? Yep. But I still enjoyed myself.

The Plot: John Carter (Taylor Kitsch) is a former Confederate soldier and malcontent running from federal marshals when he stumbles across a cave filled with alien hieroglyphics. A chance meeting with a terrestrial to whom the symbols belong sends Carter to Mars (here called Barsoom), where, he finds, the lower gravity gives him super strength and the ability to jump incredible distances (he can also breathe on the planet’s barren surface). No sooner has he discovered these things than he is taken captive by a pack of tall, green, four-armed aliens called Tharks. He impresses the Tharks, particularly their leader, Tars (voice of Willem Dafoe), with his resourcefulness, physical prowess, and newfound jumping ability, and that jumping ability soon allows him to save the princess (Lynn Collins) of the humanoid city of Helium, when her aircraft is attacked by minions of the power-hungry general Sab Than (Dominic West) in the nearby desert.

The princess, it turns out, was fleeing Sab Than because she’s been promised to him by her father (Ciaran Hinds), in order to unite their kingdoms in a peaceful alliance. The princess, who has brains and ambition, naturally wants none of it, but there are forces beyond even her control. A group of Thurns (immortal, essentially-angelic beings, who are said to be servants of a Goddess) are actually pulling the strings, having given Sab Than the weapon that will destroy Barsoom. The princess may just know the source of that weapon’s power-the source of the porthole that transported John Carter to Barsoom, and can get him back-but it’s a race against time as they flee Sab Than and his raiders, who are assisted at every turn by Thurn leader Mattai Shang (Mark Strong).

What Works?
To be taken at least semi-seriously, John Carter, like all sci-fi/action movies of the modern era, has to get one thing right: the special effects. And Carter does just that. The cities, aircraft, landscapes, and creatures, particularly the Tharks-which look alien but also possess a human quality not unlike the Gungans from Star Wars: The Phantom Menace-are terrific. If they aren’t as convincing as the Nav’i from Avatar, they’re close. Another key ingredient for films like this-especially ones that have a lot of explaining to do-is to move quickly, and Carter does: despite being more than two hours long, it rarely drags; things tend to happen in a jiffy. There are at least three big action sequences that are all engaging enough, and the movie also makes good use of a framing device (John tells his story to his nephew, Edgar (Daryl Sabara) via letter) that turns out to be a little more than it originally seems.

What Doesn’t Work?
Like I said, this movie could hardly be more familiar and more obvious—it’s not going to win any points for originality, and it won’t come out favorably in comparisons to the film it most closely resembles-Avatar-because it lacks that film’s feeling and epic sense of scale.

The predictability of the movie and plot seeps into the actors, which isn’t entirely their fault—we’ve just seen these character types so many times before. Kitsch is okay as the titular Carter. He plays it determinedly straight and manages convincingly in the battle scenes, but he tends to trip over more emotional, intimate moments, and, at times, attempts to convey his toughness by speaking in gruff, deep-throated tones not unlike Christian Bale's Batman growl. Collins, as the princess, looks pretty despite a slightly unbecoming orange tan, and she works hard, but the part has been done so often before (she wants more than just marriage, she’s handy with a blade) that it's hard for her to be particularly memorable. Ditto for West as the sleazy villain and Hinds as the noble-but-world-weary king. Strong’s good enough as the supernatural uber-villain (goodness, will this man ever play a good guy?). And Willem Dafoe and Samantha Morton (as Dafoe’s clan leader’s estranged daughter) manage effectively through the motion capture animation.

That the key pieces of the mythology, with the planets, supernatural forces, Goddess, and whatnot, are all too bungled, is another of Carter's problems.. I couldn’t give much more of a complex plot synopsis if I wanted to, because I didn’t understand much of these important elements—it doesn’t help when it has to sound all alien-y (code for hard-to-pronounce).

No, John Carter wasn’t perfect, and no, it wasn’t particularly original, but it erased two hours and twelve minutes with ease, and it has one of those endings that you wouldn’t at all mind seeing go on just a few minutes longer. The key couple doesn’t have much chemistry, and if you can guess every beat of the last thirty minutes, you won’t be the only one, but Carter isn’t taking itself too seriously. I floated out of the theater and enjoyed the ride home because I got the action, adventure, and fantastical derring-do I’d been seeking. Coulda been better, but I’ll take it.

Content?
Family-friendly, for the most part. A hint of Carter’s tragic past is revealed, and there is a fair amount of violence, but, except for some blue alien blood, it’s pretty gore-free. There’s no swearing, and just a bit of kissing. Nothing to panic about.

Bottom Line (I promise):
It probably won’t knock your socks off with its acting or originality, but Carter scores points for being entertaining; if you just can’t stay out of theaters any longer in your desperate wait for The Hunger Games, this action-packed epic makes for an interesting option.

JOHN CARTER (2012)
Based on the book 'A Princess of Mars' by Edgar Rice Burroughs
Directed by Andrew Stanton
Written by Andrew Stanton, Mark Andrews and Michael Chabon
Rated PG-13 for sci-fi action and gore, and brief disturbing images
Length: 132 minutes