KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE / AMERICAN ULTRA

Agents and Spies, Secrets and Lies

James Bond, Jason Bourne Each Get a Send-up in These Bloody But Fun Capers

Imagine James Bond as a skilled ne’er-do-well who’s living a life of petty crime before being adopted into the upper ranks of MI-6. Or, if you prefer, imagine Harry Potter as an inner city British boy with one living parent, who’s mysterious past comes full circle when he’s invited to join a super legit, super secret agency most people don’t know exists…

Now imagine Jason Bourne as a below-average Joe, a stoner prone to illness, panic attacks and laziness eek-ing his way through life...one who just happens to have an inner switch that, when flipped, opens up a whole world of pain on any ill-advised suckers trying to hurt or subdue him…

And you pretty much have the two spy/secret agent flicks I watched in the past 24 hours, last winter’s pseudo-Bond flick Kingsman: The Secret Service and this weekend’s new indie actioner, American Ultra. Neither was completely original—what with echoes of Harry Potter, Mission Impossible, and, especially, the Bond and Bourne sagas—but both brought a little extra oomph to the movie-watching experience when I needed it; I’m rather jaded at the tail end of a long summer of big-budget but cookie-cutter theatrical experiences. Neither was a family-friendly experience, exactly, but both brought a sense of fun, hyper-realism, irreverence, and badassery that made them very legitimate entertainments.

KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE                          GRADE: B+

Directed by Matthew Vaughn

I had had thoughts of seeing Kingsman: The Secret Service when it bowed in theaters back in February, but, scared off by some iffy reviews and the unpromising spectre of the typecast Samuel L. Jackson as the villain, I never got around to it. But after learning a few of my friends liked it, I took a shot—and I’m glad I did. Sure, the elements are kinda familiar, but director Matthew Vaughn brings the same snarky but fierce, funny but edgy aura he brought to his cult classic 2010 film Kick-Ass. Here, as there, the characters are vivid, the twists and reveals are exciting, and the action is a Tarantino-esque mix of shockingly-brutal and exquisitely, insanely awesome.

The plot is simple, and most of the keys were revealed in the film’s trailers—in modern-day England, a physically-gifted petty criminal who goes by the name of Eggsy (newcomer Taron Egerton) is bailed out of a tough corner with the law by a mysterious man in a suit named Galahad (Colin Firth) who claims to have been saved from certain death by Eggsy’s father, who died when Eggsy was just a boy. At first cynical and derisive, Eggsy warms to the man once he gets a glimpse of his bone-breaking fisticuffs skills and nifty gadgets. He’s thus introduced to the world of the Kingsman, a super secret high-tech agency that was created after World War I and whom no one outside has any idea exists. It’s headed by an elderly aristocrat (Michael Caine) and trained and equipped by a tech genius (Mark Strong), both of whom accept Galahad’s recommendation that Eggsy be included in the newest class of Kingsman recruits.

Though the poor Eggsy seems out of place with his fellow recruits, who were mostly plucked from prep schools, he shows guts and guile, which the Kingsman need, as they’ve begun to monitor a secretive sociopath (Jackson) bent on world domination. A Steve Jobs-esque mogul who’s made billions in the tech industry, Jackson’s Richmond Valentine has all the money and weapons he could want, plenty of deadly henchman, and a crude but undeniably effective means of accomplishing his goal. Plus, any who oppose him tend to end up dead. After a run-in with Valentine’s henchman leaves Galahad--the Kingsman's top operative--in a coma, all signs begin to point to Eggsy as the Kingsman’s best hope of stopping the worldwide threat.

Again, it’s familiar stuff, but the way the Kingsman’s secret world is unveiled has bits of the magic of early Harry Potter, and it certainly helps to have the seasoned likes of Firth, Caine and Strong on hand. Egerton proves a nimble, likeable presence who’s believable in the fight scenes and some of the more emotional moments—he’s easy to root for. And Jackson actually eschews accusations of playing the same old, same old—sure, he gets to rant and rave (and curse) a little bit, but, armed with a lisp and techie knowhow, Jackson’s actually believable as a new-age supervillain, namely, a geek who grew up being overlooked and made fun of and never forgot it. The movie has a few great stunts, and, of course, electrifying action. Like Kick-Ass, the action is stunning in its execution, but it’s well choreographed and edited in a way that makes it both real-life dark and comic-book “legit” (a lengthy fight sequence inside a church is one of the great large-scale, R-rated action scenes in recent years; jaw-dropping in its brutal, intimate details yet also strangely, perversely funny). Vaughn, who’s directed two of the great comic-book movies of the past five years (Kick-Ass and X-Men: First Class) has done it again.

I wasn’t blown away while watching it (though I marveled at the aforementioned fight scenes), but I realized how much I’d enjoyed it when it came to a close. I would gladly have watched at least another half-hour.

**KINGSMAN: THE SECRET SERVICE is rated R for strong, bloody violence, language, gory and disturbing images and brief nudity

AMERICAN ULTRA                                                          Grade: B+

Directed by Nima Nourizadeh

I knew little about American Ultra before I saw it, and what little I knew I didn’t know quite what to make of. I saw very mediocre online scores after it opened, I heard the description of a “stoner secret agent movie” (including a radio ad that boasted “Part Pineapple Express, part Bourne Identity”), and I knew of its star, Jesse Eisenberg, a typically low-key, likeable actor, but one best known for snark, sarcasm, and parody flicks (like 2009’s Zombieland). I also went in thinking Ultra had its work cut out for it (as far as impressing or entertaining me goes) because I had just watched Kingsman the previous night. Seeing the low critics’ scores, I dreaded sitting through a lame-brained, poorly-written, stoner giggle-fest.

Well I’m glad I saw it. Very glad. For one, it was far more entertaining than I expected (and than it’s online scores suggest); I would watch a movie with the same premise and major pieces that was twice as long, I enjoyed it so much. For another, well, it actually features a very good performance by that most maligned of It Girls, Kristen Stewart.

American Ultra focuses on the person of Mike Howell (Eisenberg), a twenty-something burn-out with a bland job at a convenience store and a record of petty drug arrests. However, he is supremely blessed to live with, and be loved by, Phoebe (Stewart), a pretty, kindly young woman who seems to love and appreciate him for who he is, even when he almost burns the house down trying to cook an omelet, or when he has panic attacks so severe they have to skip a dream Hawaiian vacation at the last minute. Mike, who knows he’s squeaking by, begins to fear that he’s holding Phoebe back from a better life.

One night, while sitting behind the counter of his convenience store, Mike—secretly rolling a joint beneath the register—is approached by a wary-looking older woman (Connie Britton), who suddenly bequeaths on him what seems a mouthful of nonsense:  “Chariot progressive. Listen. Mandelbrot set is in motion. Echo Choir has been breached, we are fielding the ball.” Nonplussed, Mike watches the woman leave the store, thinking she (or he) might be insane. But when he leaves the store that night, he’s set upon by a pair of muggers armed with a knife...Next thing Mike knows, he’s just barely escaped from a blown-up police station with a terrified Phoebe in tow, being pursued by nasty, highly-trained hit men, somehow unearthing hidden knowledge about weapons that he never knew he had, and, when cornered, unleashing deadly skills he doesn’t remember learning. Mike begins to doubt who is and what he is, and wonders who wants him dead so badly.

I won’t give away more except to say that American Ultra’s Bourne Identity-style screenplay is exciting, the action is swift and brutal (a la Kingsman, but a little less showy), and, most importantly, the two actors at the fore are wonderful. Eisenberg—best known as the stuffy, self-centered Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network—is surprisingly vulnerable, and likeable and convincing as a relatively Regular Joe caught up in scary and overwhelming circumstances. As his amazingly supportive and understanding better half, Stewart gives probably the best performance she’s given since she became a household name with the Twilight series. Gentle and encouraging and completely committed to Mike, yet also possessing a backbone of steel that begins to show itself, Stewart nearly steals the show; ironic that this great, raw performance comes in a movie no one is anticipating and no one has any expectations for (though I maintain that the Twilight series’ lameness does not rest entirely on her shoulders). It’s the connection between the two leads that makes this movie work, even more than the action, and the movie ends with a brilliant, Bond-esque scene of espionage.

Not the smartest or most original movie in the world, but American Ultra is far more than its “stoner” label suggests, an exciting and engaging action flick for the late summer.

Kingsman: The Secret Service (2014)

Directed by Matthew Vaughn

Screenplay by Jane Goldman & Matthew Vaughn

Based on the comic book "The Secret Service" by Mark Millar and Dave Gibbons

Starring: Colin Firth, Taron Egerton, Mark Strong, Samuel L. Jackson, Sophie Cookson, Sofia Boutella, Michael Caine, Samantha Womack and Mark Hamill

Rated R

Length: 129 minutes

American Ultra (2015)

Directed by Nima Nourizadeh

Screenplay by Max Landis

Starring: Jesse Eisenberg, Kristen Stewart, Topher Grace, Connie Britton, Walton Goggins, John Leguizamo, Tony Hale and Bill Pullman

Rated R

Length: 95 minutes

STARSHIP TROOPERS

Starship Troopers

Grade: C+

Starring: Casper Van Dien, Denise Richards, Dina Meyer, Jake Busey, Patrick Muldoon, Neil Patrick Harris, Michael Ironside, Clancy Brown, Brenda Smart and Dean Norris

Premise: A young rising star in the futuristic Military Infantry comes front and center in a devastating war between humankind and a race of deadly alien bugs.

Rated R for strong graphic violence, blood and gore, nudity and sexuality, scenes of peril and destruction, and some language

The best way to describe 1997’s Starship Troopers is “dumb fun”. I got excited when I noticed it on Netflix today—it was one of those movies I always wanted to see as a kid because my friends at school were always talking about it, but my parents wouldn’t let me. So I watched it. Based on a 1959 novel of the same name by Robert A. Heinlein—though I have a feeling it’s “based” on Heinlein’s novel about as much as the last two Hobbit movies were “based” on J.R.R. Tolkien’s book—Troopers has designs on being an epic but is nowhere near smart enough. I described it earlier on my Facebook page as “Ender’s Game on Steroids, minus about 100 I.Q. points”. Turns out it nabbed an Oscar nomination for its Visual Effects, which were probably cutting-edge in ’97 but are video game-level now, but it’s an atrociously-written, lamely-acted, uber-cliché film that’s made for those teenage boys and men who just want to think about attractive women and blowing stuff up real good. Still, even if that was its only goal, it could’ve been a little better.

Plot

In the future, where a space-faring humanity seems joined up into one coalition called the “Federation”, an intergalactic war with the giant insect residents of a distant planet called Klendathu has begun. While not all of Earth’s inhabitants are privileged, all-rights-guaranteed Citizens, one way to become one is to serve at least one term of service in the Federation’s military. This becomes reality for John “Johnny” Rico (Casper Van Dien), a tall, handsome, athletic high school senior who passes up his parents’ wishes of going to Harvard for the chance to stay in touch with his hottie girlfriend, Carmen (Denise Richards). Carmen aspires to be a pilot in the space fleet, and Johnny figures he’ll serve a term as a grunt in the Military Infantry until their terms are up. Johnny’s best friend Carl (Neil Patrick Harris) also joins the military, heading into the science division. Once Johnny gets into the infantry, he encounters another familiar face, Dizzy Flores (Dina Meyer), a former classmate who always nursed a strong crush on him.

Johnny proves himself a strong leader in training, surviving the harsh demands of his instructor (Clancy Brown), and, soon enough, is a Corporal and squad leader in the field, under the tutelage of renowned warrior—and Johnny’s former high school teacher—Jean Rasczak (Michael Ironside). The war with the bugs proves intense and costly, but Johnny continues to prove himself with assistance from new best friend Ace (Jake Busey), despite the distraction of Carmen rising through the ranks at the fleet and being paired up on a flight crew with an old high school rival (Patrick Muldoon) of Johnny’s. In addition, Johnny soon finds he can no longer resist Dizzy’s cute, confident advances. But these thoughts are soon pushed into the background as the bugs prove fiercer and harder to eliminate than anyone thought…word soon gets out that the bugs can read people’s minds, and thereby anticipate humanity’s every move.

What Works?

There’s nothing in here that hasn’t been done—before or since this film’s release in 1997—but it checks many of the boxes well enough. Intense, epic scenes of combat? Check. Tongue-in-cheek political propaganda? Check. Clean-cut, macho, easily-identifiable main hero? Check (Van Dien defines the term “square-jawed”). Likeable love interest? Check (Meyer does a lot with a little). Scene-stealing turns by charismatic older actors? Check (Clancy Brown and Michael Ironside play their usual screen selves, but they look like they’re having fun doing it). Quotable dialogue, whether of the unintentionally or intentionally quotable variety? Check (“Come on, you apes! You wanna live forever?!”  “What’s your malfunction, Rico?” “Funny how girls always wanna be friends right after they rip your guts out.”). Starship Troopers isn’t a smart or original movie, but, being so by-the-book, it at least separates itself with its harsh combat sequences and full story arch. In a nutshell, it’s pleasant, just-watch-for-fun camp, plus a lot of blood and dismembered limbs.

What Doesn’t Work?

Obviously, it’s not really original, and it actually covers so much ground in its barely-two-hour plot time that it’s sensationally under-written at almost every turn. Every battlefield death is clearly telegraphed in advance. Every time our hero might get really emotional, the scene takes the easy way out or cuts away entirely. Plenty of boxes here are checked as well, docking the film points for originality. The alien bugs are smarter than we thought they were. Check. Almost every identifiable character in the film is bumped off in slow-mo. Check. Our heroes’ mentors/commanders die obvious, leave-me-save-yourself deaths. Check. Johnny Rico and his romantic rival get into a wildly over-the-top fistfight over Carmen. Check.

Besides the writing—again, this movie was only really made to show bugs gettin’ blowed up, people getting tore up, people spouting chest-pounding military bravado, and those two scenes where women are shown topless—the main thing that doesn’t work is the hideous performance given by Denise Richards. Richards has been a Bond girl (2000’s The World is Not Enough) but is probably still best-known for her marriage to and divorce from wild man Charlie Sheen; she’s easy on the eyes, that’s for sure…at least until you realize she holds that pretty but bland smile throughout the entire movie with few alterations. Her performance could hardly be more stiff and wooden—I began to actively root for her death, and not just after she seemed poised to break Johnny’s heart. Turns out, being attractive just isn’t enough sometimes.

Content

Though surprisingly-light on profanity (I only noted 1 F-word, an incredible amount for an R-rated movie about military types), Starship Troopers is a hard R, thanks to some of the most graphic sci-fi gore you’ll ever see. People get decapitated, dismembered, cut open, drained of blood or, famously, get their brains sucked out. People also occasionally get melted or crushed by falling objects. The computerized bugs suffer no less, often getting battered by what must be thousands of bullets as their gooey-green blood spatters and their multiple extremities disintegrate bit by bit. Troopers also has the distinction of being one of the first movies in which people my age witnessed female nudity (along with Titanic, which came out the same year), with one scene of the co-ed squad showering and another scene depicting two characters in the opening throes of what I suppose you could call a “quickie”. The violence is what you’ll remember, though, and it’s pretty ruthless. Keep the kiddies away.

Bottom Line

As far as spectacle, the shoot-em-up, blow-em-up, humans-versus-aliens-war odyssey Starship Troopers delivers what it should. Some of the battle scenes are actually pretty intense. But the movie is tame, by-the-numbers stuff overall, with cliché characters, some really poor acting, special effects that haven’t aged particularly well, and a check-the-boxes screenplay of which you’ve seen every major beat done better before (or since). There are plenty of other, smarter, more invigorating flicks you could watch that cover the same beats.

Starship Troopers (1997)

Directed by Paul Verhoeven

Screenplay by Edward Neumeier

Based on the novel by Robert A. Heinlein

Rated R

Length: 129 minutes