O'CONNOR KO-ed--AMERICAN IDOL RESULTS

O'CONNOR KO-ed--American Idol Review

PRETTY, SOULFUL NURSE PREDICTABLY SENT HOME

Here’s a result that surprised absolutely no one. All day long, as I read recaps of last night’s Top 13 performances on American Idol, every single article that dared to predict a Bottom Three included brunette nurse Kristen O’Connor in its unfortunate trio, and each one guessed she’d be the one going home. After 71 million votes Wednesday night, these educated guesses became reality.

She made it to #13 in a contest for which thousands auditioned, but the simple fact is Kristen just didn’t have enough going for her. She was likeable, sure, and she had a decent voice, but all I could remember of her each week was that she had a really, really wide smile, and she was a nurse. She’s certainly a better singer then I am, and she arguably has a better vocal range then at least one of the remaining contestants, but she came into this week on fumes after surprisingly being selected a Wild Card over the more talented Bria Anai and Spencer Lloyd. Thursday night, when it came time for one of Idol’s most time-honored traditions—playing a schmaltz-oozing montage of Kristen’s highlights on and around American Idol once she'd been eliminated—the screen also held a shot of Kristen’s face as she watched it; her utterly downcast features displayed the crushing disappointment of someone who’s been living a pie-in-the-sky dream, brought quickly and suddenly back to earth by an ugly reality she probably knew was coming.

Whether Kristen knew or didn’t know after a subpar reception from the judges last night—when, as one of last week’s Wild Cards, she really needed to knock people’s socks off—those of us who did know had a hard time seeing the elimination-preceding 55 minutes as anything other than a formality. With live performances by reigning-champion Idol Candice Glover and emo-folk Brit Jake Bugg sharing exposition time with clips of former Idol judge Randy Jackson giving advice to each of the contestants, the show clicked along, but, as host Ryan Seacrest kept saying, it would “get back to seriousness” every now and then. First, brace-faced teen Malaya Watson was sent to a stool separate from the rest of the pack as the first member of the Bottom Three. About ten minutes later, she was somewhat surprisingly joined by MK Nobilette, who garnered some praise from the judges last night but was clearly out of her depth singing a big, gnarly showstopper. These two held hands with Kristen as they waited for Ryan to reveal their fates in the show’s closing moments.

About five seasons ago, Idol introduced the idea of the judges’ save, in which the judges (this season’s are Keith Urban, Jennifer Lopez and Harry Connick, Jr.) can save a contestant who’s mathematically been eliminated if they can agree to unanimously do it. They can only do it once a season. To no one’s surprise, they didn’t choose to save Kristen. While contestants who’ve been eliminated historically get to do an encore performance to say goodbye to the show and to the American public, they now do it before the judges make this decision (Ryan Seacrest kept using the phrase "sing for her life"). In pre-determined cases like Kristen’s, this thin, thin ray of hope for contestants gives us the awkward specter of someone singing with all their might for a “Yes” the judges aren’t going to give.

Other than the actual result everyone tuned in for, the show was pretty breezy. They probably could still condense it into 30 minutes and be that much more watchable, but it was enjoyable enough to tune in after I got off work, and to find I hadn’t missed much. I didn’t see so much as a wink of last season, so I was glad for a chance to see and hear incumbent winner Candice Glover. She has a strong, soulful voice, she just apparently had an album debut at #3 on the R&B charts, and she had to be a breath of fresh air (or a gasp of relief) for Idol’s producers after a parade of plain white guys (Phillip Phillips, Scotty McCreery, Lee DeWyze, Kris Allen) monopolized the Idol title in recent years. Brit Jake Bugg was an intriguing surprise; discovered by Keith Urban, the seventeen-year-old’s folk sound was super catchy. And I was surprised to see MK in the Bottom Three with Malaya and Kristen. Her performance last night was pretty bad, but the judges (and America) seemed to lap it up. This seems a bit premature, even for someone whose days on the show are, I believe, numbered (she’s the one contestant I’m confident in saying Kristen could out-sing).

By the way, the new feature of having a scrolling collage of pictures from the Facebook profiles of people who voted for the contestant who’s singing for their life (Kristen, in this case) is typical of the kind of uncomfortably-sentimental thing Idol does; meant to be sweet and meaningful, I took it as just more salt in an open wound as Kristen sang, in vain, for a judges’ “Yes”.

**Next week’s theme is, according to Seacrest, “Home”. What exactly that means, I don’t know (could all the contestants be asked to sing renditions of the Daughtry song by that name?).**

Finally, here are my Power Rankings of the remaining contestants—the TOP 12!

1. Majesty Rose-Adorable and intriguing, with a quietly-great all-around skill set, Majesty might be the most talented of the girls.
2. Alex Preston-He probably won’t win many votes for his looks, but this brilliant musician and his earnest, acoustic style have proven a breath of fresh air.
3. Caleb Johnson-I’m tempted to call him a man among boys. This season’s lone Rocker has the whole package: a killer voice, great stage presence, and a fiery personality.
4. Sam Woolf-He’s raking in the Adoring Female vote, and he’s talented, too. Sam’s a better musician than most 17-year-olds have any right to be; he just needs to liven up a little bit.
5. Ben Briley-Diverse, fiery, passionate; Ben’s performances aren’t always note-perfect, but he’s always worth watching and he’s never boring.
6. Jessica Meuse-She’s got the serious musician chops, and she’s convincing and effective with country and rock.
7. Dexter Roberts-Dexter stumbled with his karaOK performance this week, but his voting base clearly didn’t notice. THE most country-blooded contestant left is looking for a rebound.
8. Emily Piriz-She’s still best-known for her “ooh la la”-themed attempt at straight-up sex appeal, but a great vocal performance this week turned heads (and won my support).
9. Jena Irene-She’s got that interesting voice I’m still looking for adjectives for, plus she’s got some pipes and she can play the piano, too.
10. MK Nobilette-She doesn’t have much in the way of personality or great vocal range, but she’s easily-recognizable and has a fine voice for crooning. Growing truly comfortable-and bringing real energy-onstage will be a test, though.
11. CJ Harris-Everyone likes this guy, and he’s got a legitimately good voice, but he’s lucky, to say the least, at not even tasting the Bottom Three this week. He’s arguably the one guy remaining whose performances don’t qualify as can’t-miss.
12. Malaya Watson-In terms of actual vocal range, Malaya would be near (if not at) the top of this list, but she’s been swallowed whole by her nerves and hyperkinetic energy two weeks in a row now, and she barely escaped this week. She was standing next to Kristen when Kristen was eliminated; Malaya needs to calm down and let it flow if she doesn’t want to go next.

THE TEPID TOP 13--AMERICAN IDOL REVIEW

AMERICAN IDOL TOP 13

FINALISTS STRUGGLE TO GENERATE SPARKS ON LUKEWARM NIGHT

Like irons, stoves, and certain people, the first week of American Idol’s countdown to the finish took a while to warm up. Three pretty bad opening performances had judges Harry Connick Jr., Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban struggling to drop niceties in order to not get a screaming, feverish crowd booing incessantly. But, slowly but surely, the overall quality started to improve. It never reached a brilliant crescendo, but it came close. I just wasn’t expecting to be underwhelmed; with a theme that could’ve been a gimme—“This Is Me”, which host Ryan Seacrest described as “the one song that defines them as a person”—most of the Top 13 contestants struggled to hit high notes and bring real energy to avoid sounding like so-so karaoke acts. A number of favorites took steps back (or at least suffered hiccups), but one early favorite cemented her status and another fairly-unsung competitor took a big step forward, at least in my eyes.

*Oh, and each contestant, some time prior this week, was asked to present five random facts about themselves in twenty seconds. Some made it, some didn’t, and some were halfway through brushing their teeth.*

Anyway, the performers:

Dexter Roberts

Fun Facts: He’s been bucked off a horse, and he’s broken a finger

An early favorite thanks to his inherently country style and radio-ready vibes, Dexter took a noticeable step backward opening the show with Chris Young’s hillbilly hit “Aw Naw”.. Nothing sounds bad quite like bad country. Warned last week to do something to stand out against a crowded landscape of wannabe honytonk stars, Dexter cleaned himself up a bit but then stumbled with a his so-so rendition that sounded like someone even more wannabe than an Idol performer. It was serviceable, and it won’t scare away his country-blooded fans, but Dexter needs to be above karaoke.     Grade: C+

Fortune Forecast: Dexter’s sailed easily this far on his country vibes and strong voice. I doubt he’ll be heading home so soon, but he proved forgettable singing first on a forgettable night, so it’s not the way he’d choose to start out. He’d be a shock in the Bottom 3, but he could very well be heading there.

Malaya Watson

Fun Facts: She’s 5’2, she’s afraid of dogs, she’s plays a lot of instruments, she can’t see at all without her glasses, and she loves Everybody

This 16-year-old survived last week when a lot of other young’uns didn’t, but one of this season’s most vocally-talented contestants induced cringes with a hideously-karaoke rendition of Bruno Mars’ “Runaway Baby”. Malaya might have the flat-out best vocal range of any contestant this year, but she also has the most energy, and she over-used the latter and underused the former. Without any big notes or melody to put her voice into, Malaya collapsed in a performance that was forgettable as soon as she sang it. Though they admitted something was off, the judges were surprisingly polite to a performer they could’ve shredded. Grade: C-

Fortune Forecast: Far from the most polished performer, Malaya did herself absolutely no favors with a bad karaoke performance that didn’t show off that voice. I think Malaya’s destined for the Bottom 3.

Kristen O’Connor

Her best friends are quadruplets, she loves swing dancing, and she’s really bad at all sports

The first of last week’s Wild Card winners to perform tonight, Kristen came in, in my opinion, as the contestant who needed the biggest performance tonight. She’s sweet but slightly bland, with a quasi-Girl-Next-Door vibe and a honeyed voice, but no real hook. Singing schmaltzy love ballads isn’t usually the way to go, and I called her rendition of Kelly Clarkson’s “Beautiful Disaster” ‘blah’. No, I won’t say Kristen is a beautiful disaster, but I don’t think she’s a real contender. Grade: C

Fortune Forecast: In danger. Kristen seems like a nice girl, but, despite a decent voice, she’s not very dynamic. I called her the weak link in my results show recap last week, and she didn’t change my mind. She’ll be lucky to move on.

Ben Briley

He can name every capital, he loves Tennessee Vols football, his favorite animal is the kangaroo, he’s good at throwing rocks, and he wants to skydive

Skydiving seems an appropriate outlet for this season’s contestant who’s most likely to go on to have a sponsorship by Red Bull. Country/soul/rock man Briley turned a classic on its head by singing Johnny Cash’s “Folsom Prison Blues” as something more akin to “The Devil Went Down to Georgia” than Cash's most famous song. While I was thrown by the arrangement (and I was admittedly confusing my Cash titles, expecting ‘Cocaine Blues’ instead), Ben brought the first real energy of the night, the first performance that could be called “fun”. The judges cautioned him on overdoing the energy and showmanship in place of artistry, but he's getting through. Grade: B

Fortune Forecast: Ben seems like a really likeable, laid-back kind of guy, and people have been voting for him for weeks. He’s safe.

CJ Harris

He hates climbing high things, he hates icy roads in winter, he loves deer, he hates people with bad attitudes, and he’s very religious

Be careful when Thou Singest Darius Rucker songs, because the man has an incredible voice! The uber-likeable CJ Harris, another Wild Card who made it through last week, took on the former Hootie & The Blowfish front man’s “Radio”, which is a likeable song, but very safe and very typical for this kind of show. And it was typical. CJ has a nice voice, but he’s very much in his safe zone each week. He looked like he was having fun, but the word karaoke came to my mind again. Grade: B-

Fortune Forecast: Iffy. CJ's memorable, but, despite having a decent voice and a great personality, he rarely stands out as a performer, which is going to come back to bite him in this competition, and probably soon.

MK Nobilette

She’s a mediocre snowboarder, she’s a great soccer goalkeeper, she loves the song “Single Ladies”, she wishes she was a dancer, and her MK-9 is her favorite thing in the world

MK tried something new this week by turning things up a notch, wearing noticeable makeup and singing a song with more personality, this one “Satisfaction” by Alan Stone. The judges and the crowd loved it, BUT...MK’s likeable and she’s a ground-breaking contestant who sounds great singing ballads, but she has neither the personality nor the big voice to sing songs that are real energy songs, which this was. My first thought when she began singing was her voice has a nice tone, followed by oh no, this was a bad idea. But the judges liked it, so…. Grade: C

Fortune Forecast: Safe for now, as her personality and style keep winning her points with the judges, but no one’s going to mistake her for one of this season’s real talents.

Majesty Rose

She was born on a leap year, she’s left-handed, she’s a long-boarder, she loves ballet, and she likes to make her hair bigger

I missed Majesty Rose last week, so this was the first time since auditions I’d seen a full performance of hers, and boy, am I glad I saw it. Her “Tight Rope” by Janelle Monae seemed more like “Tight Rope” by Majesty Rose, an upbeat, fun number that was a much-needed tonic from the blandness of the previous contestants. While her style is mostly pretty light and fun, she showed she most certainly has an above-average voice and impressive confidence. My primary thought during her performance was: she’s the first one tonight who’s seemed like a pro.  Grade: B+

Fortune Forecast: Safe. Majesty’s already one of the favorites, and she’s sitting pretty as one of the standouts on an average night.

Jena Irene

Her hair’s actually brown, she’s best friends with her brother, her favorite movie is The Wizard of Oz, her eyes are sometimes green and blue, and she’s really short

The third Wild Card contender, Jena Irene will never be mistaken for anybody else on the show because of the crackling, metallic quality of her voice. It’s an interesting sound that burns the ears at first, but once you’re used to it, you can see how intriguing it is. She picked a good song for it, too, covering Coldplay’s flowing but slightly boring ballad “The Scientist”; her live-wire vocals kept it from slipping off into sleepiness. It could’ve been even better if she’d chased down a few more big notes, but that voice gets its hooks in.  Grade: A-

Fortune Forecast: Based on this performance, safe, but after only making it in as a Wild Card after a sterling performance in the Top 15 girls, I’m worried that enough people don’t remember/appreciate her.

Alex Preston

He loves extreme sports, he’s a hopeless romantic, he writes poetry, and he loves coffee

The good thing about Alex Preston is that his gentle, acoustic sounds are always refreshing on a show that’s too often filled with people straining to over-sing love ballads or powerhouse hits; the drawback is that his performances can become boring. I thought his rendition of Jason Mraz’s “A Beautiful Mess” did just that, and so did Harry Connick Jr, who got heavy boos for saying so. Alex did air out his voice for the longest note we’ve yet heard from him, but I think he needs to pick up the tempo in coming weeks. Grade: B

Fortune Forecast: Safe for now. His performances are just on this side of boring, but he’s so obviously-talented and unique, he can go far if he ups his game just a little.

Jessica Meuse

She uses lots of hand sanitizer, she’s obsessed with the supernatural, she loves ponies, she has lots of animals and she didn’t do so great in band class

Pink-haired and nose-pierced and riding lots of air time through auditions and Hollywood, Jessica is already one of the most recognizable contestants this season, so if she finds her groove, she could go a long way. She took a fine first step singing “The Crow and the Butterfly” a song by Shinedown, which showed her raspy, accented voice to be comparable to those of Stevie Nicks and Bonnie Raitt (not bad company to have). Her experience as a musician really showed: it definitely wasn’t karaoke, and she didn’t over or under-sell her performance. The judges loved it.  Grade: B+

Fortune Forecast: Safe. 

Emily Piriz

She went to Chef camp when she was younger, her eyes change colors depending on her environment and her outfit, and she can do a cool whistle

Rocking gray eyes on this night—apparently because her outfit was gray—Emily Piriz took a big step forward by doing something other than the “Ooh La La” song that kept offending Harry Connick Jr. The judges thought her rendition of Pink’s “Glitter in the Air” lacked Pink’s edgy quality, but, for me, it was easily the night’s best performance. She showed a very strong, clear voice, and nailed a few high notes. Grade: A-

Fortune Forecast: Safe. I didn’t expect her to get this far, but after winning unanimous praise from the judges singing a strong ballad by Pink, she ought to cruise.

Sam Woolf

He’s afraid of spiders, he wears size-10 shoes, he stepped on a sea urchin once, he broke his ankle falling down the stairs once, and his middle name is Joseph

Sam Woolf might be the best, most polished 17-year-old singer you could possibly find on American Idol, and therein lay his downfall last night—he’s so refined, he doesn’t have the energy of, say, Matchbox 20. Singing that band’s classic ‘Unwell’, he sounded great, but his over-refined style hurt him when he reached the chorus and there was no spurt of energy or real change in tempo. The song should really pick up, and his didn’t. It was solid, and the girls obviously love him, but the judges all echoed my sentiment—it was too perfect, put some energy into it. Grade: B-

Fortune Forecast: Safe. With no other guy grabbing the Cute Guy votes from tween girls, Sam’s got a monopoly on that market, not to mention he’s a fine singer and a down-to-earth guy. No problems here.

Caleb Johnson

He’s been chased by a cow, he ran cross-country in high school, and he loves biscuits and gravy

Unlike Sam, Caleb can never be criticized for not having enough energy in a performance. For the second straight week he came out like it was his own personal rock concert, whipping the mic stand and howling his way through Rival Sons’ “Pressure And Time”.  Caleb’s ready for the big-time, and his energy and enthusiasm were awesome on a night when most contestants were holding back, but I’m anxious to see him put his considerable voice and passion into something a little more mellow, to show some diversity. Grade: B+

Fortune Forecast: Safe. He’s the only guy getting Rocker votes this year, and if he made it after bursting off the stage to open last week’s show, he’ll make it after wowing the judges and invigorating the crowd closing it this week.

Ultimately, all of the performances could have been a little better, but Majesty cemented her position as a favorite, Caleb and Jessica proved they’ve gotten hoopla for good reason, Emily and Jena took big steps forward, and most of the others showed what they need to work on. It was a tough night for some of the best-liked contestants, though, but I’m not sure if we’ll see that mirrored in the results Thursday night. My least favorite performances on the night came from Malaya, MK and Kristen, thought I'm worried Jena, a solid talent, might not gain enough traction. I expect a Bottom 3 of Malaya, Kristen and CJ, with Dexter as a possible alternate.

POMPEII

Pompeii (2014)

Grade: B-

Starring: Kit Harrington, Emily Browning, Kiefer Sutherland, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jessica Lucas, Jared Harris, Carrie-Anne Moss and Sacha Roiz

Premise: A gladiator and a young noblewoman begin an unlikely relationship during the last days before Mt. Vesuvius’ eruption.

Rated PG-13 for intense thematic material including strong violence, constant scenes of peril and destruction, disturbing images and some blood

Whenever Pompeii remembers that it’s supposed to be a dramatization of a catastrophic historical event that is believed to have claimed some 16,000 lives, it actually manages to be pretty gripping. Whenever it tries to be anything else—star-crossed romance, masculine revenge fantasy, political intrigue thriller or period costume drama—it falls flat on its face, proving little more than a send-up of a bunch of better movies (an appropriate title for all of the pre-Vesuvius action here might be ‘Gladiator & Juliet’). That said, the last half hour is pretty tremendous, as it keeps the action coming and coming, and proves by turns riveting and exhilarating. It’s not terrible, overall. In fact, with a fairly-appealing cast, sturdy visuals, and some well-executed action scenes, it’s actually pretty decent for a February release. It could at least tide over guys who can’t wait for the next 300. Just don’t expect it to be the next 300, or Gladiator, or Romeo & Juliet or…well, you get it.

Plot

Raised a slave after his tribe of Celtic horse-herders was massacred by Roman legions during his childhood, “The Celt” (Game of Thrones’ Kit Harrington) has made a name for himself on the gladiatorial circuit, proving a warrior of uncommon speed and strength. With his handlers looking to use his advanced skills to entertain the Roman Empire’s nobles, he’s sent to the great port city of Pompeii, circa 79 AD. En route, The Celt ministers to an injured horse before the eyes of Cassia (Emily Browning), the daughter of a noble Pompeiian lord (Jared Harris), who’s returning to her hometown after a year in Rome. Cassia takes note of The Celt’s good looks and quiet wisdom as she returns to her family’s lush villa, but The Celt soon seems on a collision course with his doom, as he’s immediately slotted to partake in a killer showdown with reigning champion fighter Atticus (British-born actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbale). This bravura mano-a-mano bout will be presented on the last day of the feast of Vacanalia to entertain a visiting Roman senator (Kiefer Sutherland), who actually has his eye on Cassia. As Mt. Vesuvius rumbles ominously in the background, Cassia tries to fend off the advances of the power-mad senator and has another chance meeting with The Celt, at which point she falls for him. Meanwhile, The Celt, though sturdy and cocksure, is slowly becoming actual comrades—if not friends—with Atticus, who appreciates the young man’s spunk. But they’ll have to fight each other in the ring, and Atticus has some extra motivation—if he wins the bout, it’s said he’ll win his freedom. But it might not even matter, because all hell is about to break loose.

What Works?

Even the things in Pompeii that work are eerily (and obviously) reminiscent of features from other films. An extended battle scene in which The Celt, Atticus, and a handful of their fellow gladiators are forced to play the losing side in a re-enactment of a famous Roman conquest is borrowed wholesale from Ridley Scott’s Oscar-winning Russell Crowe epic, but it’s still one of the film’s highlights. Atticus himself is a clichéd type character, with Akinnuoye-Agbale taking on the Strong, Noble African role that’s been played by a number of other actors through the years, most notably Djimon Hounsou (in Gladiator; not to mention Blood Diamond, Amistad and The Four Feathers). That said, the strapping actor (whose other credits include Thor: The Dark World, The Bourne Identity and a stint on TV’s LOST) is the only major player who emerges from this B-grade drama’s clichés with his dignity largely intact.

Once things really get going, with Vesuvius erupting and buildings collapsing, Pompeii shows that it has a pulse, with disaster sequences impressive enough to remind one of Deep Impact and Titanic, among others. The visual effects team deserves credit, as the mountain’s explosion, lava flows and collapses are all believable, and this comes after some good work from the set and costume people, who make everything suitably elaborate and eye-catching. Even though we’ve seen many a costume drama, some pleasing aesthetic touches are always appreciated.

What Doesn’t Work?

Too much, sadly. As the star-crossed lovers, Harrington and Browning struggle to generate chemistry from characters who aren’t interesting. His Celt is largely a blank slate, with only snatches of cockiness, wit and quiet strength behind his fake-looking abs (most of Harrington's good moments come during some cliched but enjoyable buddy-bonding scenes with Agbale's Atticus). Her Cassia is equally devoid of personality, possessing only Something Resembling Decency, with perhaps a touch of Something Resembling Spunk. (Also, am I the only person who thinks Browning, with her huge eyes and prominent lips, looks like something between a bobblehead and a fish? I hate to be mean, but once I thought it, I couldn't stop). Anyway, Harrington and Browning's Meet Cute is ridiculously lame, and their next meeting--the one where they really fall for each other--is even worse, patently absurd. Until a few halfway-decent final moments, we don't care for them as a couple at all.

Apart from our two resident cuties and Agbale, the only actor who makes much of an impression is Kiefer Sutherland, and it’s a bad one. It’s difficult to decide whether his frothing-at-the-mouth evil dude senator is more Jack Bauer having an especially aggravating 24 (or 48-72) hour period, or a more obviously-evil reincarnation of his shifty characters from Stand By Me and A Few Good Men, with a bad accent added for effect.

Acting’s not the only thing that doesn’t work. Slow-mo effects are used to amp up the drama where it doesn’t need to be amped, and there’s a strategically-placed Screaming Child Separated From Her Mother In A Crowd scene that is far too obvious an attempt to wring tears from the audience. And then there’s a logic-impaired scene where The Celt and Atticus face off with the senator’s cold-blooded bodyguard, Proculus (Sacha Roiz), in the arena….after Vesuvius has begun its fatal eruption. The coliseum is collapsing, the city is partly burning and partly flooding and burning rocks are raining from the exploding volcano in the background, but they decide they're gonna have to fight because the movie (apparently) needs another climactic big fight. Aren’t such things as petty feuds forgotten when you should be running for your life or you will ALL DIE? Apparently not. What’s even worse is that The Celt actually had a reason to want to fight this guy (per the movie’s childhood-flashback prologue, that man actually killed his father), but when he runs off to find Cassia to try and get her safety, that leaves…Atticus and Proculus, who have no personal beef at all, and don't even know each other, to fight it out while the city is burning and flooding and Vesuvius is erupting, leaving whoever survives their duel scant chance of surviving much longer. Sure, there’s an ongoing theme about how gladiators are as tough as Romans and worth as much, but isn’t it worth forgetting when no one is watching and a volcano is erupting nearby? Like I said, logic-impaired. That’s just lazy writing.

Content

Pompeii can get intense. There’s enough PG-13 bloodletting during the gladiator combat scenes for the squeamish to get antsy, and, per Disaster Movie Coda, things get pretty dramatic during the eruption and its aftermath, with lava, fires, collapsing buildings and a tidal wave all providing significant obstacles even before the ash cloud comes (this being the ash cloud that famously preserved the remains of hundreds of Pompeii’s citizens in the positions they were in when they died). Lots of people's death are hinted at, if not outright shown. Might want to leave the youngest kids at home for this one.

Bottom Line

Its Soap-Opera-In-Costumes “story” is poorly-executed and mostly reminiscent of a bunch of other movies more worth your time, but Pompeii has some decent gladiatorial combat scenes, and its re-creation of the epic disaster is pretty harrowing. It could make for a decent Friday night Redbox rental some time in the future.

Pompeii (2014)

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

Written For the Screen by Janet Scott Batchler, Lee Batchler and Michael Robert Johnson

Rated PG-13

Length: 105 minutes

THE TOP 13 UNVEILED--AMERICAN IDOL REVIEW

Meet the Top 13

THURSDAY NIGHT AMERICAN IDOL REVIEW

Well, I have no complaints about the Top 13! America (and the judges) got it right.

By the time I got home from a late shift at work, eight of the top ten vote recipients were already relaxing in specialty seats on the seats on the stage. Malaya Watson, Jessica Meuse, and Majesty Rose had survived the debacle that was the Top 15 (10, really) Girls’ round, as I had predicted; ‘Miss Ooh La La’ Emily Piriz, who was heckled twice by judge Harry Connick Jr. for singing that edgy-sexy song, was a surprise, but not an unwelcome one. And I was thrilled to see Caleb Johnson, Dexter Roberts, Ben Briley and Alex Preston representing the guys (glad to see people remembered last night’s opening act, Caleb, and appreciated this season’s token Different contestant, Alex). Moments later, MK Nobilette and Sam Woolf predictably rounded out their respective Top Fives.

We’d heard an awful lot about the judges’ “Wild Card” picks, but as of tonight had no idea what shape the selection process would take. Would Harry, Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban just snatch people off the bench or have them perform? It turned out to be the latter—they selected five people to sing on-the-spot renditions of their final solos from Hollywood Week (automatically eliminating anyone who was not picked). The people they picked to sing were, in order, CJ Harris, Jena Irene Asciutto, Spencer Lloyd, Bria Anai Johnson and Kristen O’Connor. Other than sublime performances from CJ (whom the judges criticized for some reason, claiming either he or the band was “off”) and Jena (who was a given to make it), it was a slightly painful process. Bria reminded us she can hit notes most of the other contestants can’t, but her performance didn’t flow, and, Harry said, “was all over the place”. Resident heartthrob Spencer started out pitchy and uncomfortable before he started to warm up, finishing with a sneaky-sexy glower that probably almost made half the women in attendance faint. Comely nurse Kristen massaged some decent big notes but choked on another—one that could have been a signature big, explosive moment.

With freshly-eliminated also-rans Brianna Oakley, Marielle Sellars, Emmanuel Zidor, George Lovett and Malcolm Allen watching, the five wild card contenders lined up on stage once the last performance had concluded and faced the judges. Keith gave the good news we all knew was coming, to Jena. Harry blessed Kristen, whom I like but thought was out-sung in this wild card contenders’ round by Spencer. And JLo made it clear that all the right guys made it, bringing CJ into the fold.

Overall, I really like this Top 13. It stinks for early frontrunners Marielle, Spencer and Emmanuel, who had talent and got plenty of exposure but just didn’t deliver when the time called for it. It’s also a real bummer for repeat contestant Brianna, who has legitimate talent but wasn’t memorable enough. Kristen, to me, screams weak link, with a slightly bland personality backing up a decent but unspectacular voice. Malaya, Ben and Caleb have the big voices, Alex and Jena are sure to keep things interesting, Majesty, Emily and Sam bring youth, Jessica gets to cement her serious-musician cred, CJ’s a sweetheart and Dexter will keep the country crowd excited. All the ones I wanted to see made it, and I’m really interested to see what themes they’re asked to tackle.

And now begins a six-day wait for performances from the Top 13. Or, as Ryan Seacrest would say, I’ll see them…after the break.

THE TOP 15 GUYS--AMERICAN IDOL REVIEW

The Top 15 Guys (well....you know)

AMERICAN IDOL WEDNESDAY NIGHT REVIEW

            Well, for the second night in a row, an episode of American Idol has left me appalled. Last night, it was realizing that the new Rush Week Top Ten deal meant five contestants who came this far would be unceremoniously dismissed, without even the chance to compete; tonight, it was seeing who got dismissed. I mean, while I could have envisioned that tonight’s Forgotten Guys would include baby-faced Jordan Brisbane, whiney-voiced Briston Maroney, and I-can’t-remember-anything-about-him Ethan Harris, I never could have fathomed that red-blooded country rock guy Caleb Thrasher and big-time R&B stud Maurice Townsend would be left out in the cold, too, with nothing but brave smiles. I cannot tell you how much that shocked me; I assumed both were locks.

            Then again, I’ve seen enough Idol to know that predictability isn’t always in the cards. I saw when big-voiced-but-bland Carrie Underwood beat the much more musically-talented Bo Bice in the Season 4 finale, and this after the season’s most dynamic contestant, Constantine Maroulis, was tossed out in sixth place. I was as shocked as the rest of the world when Chris Daughtry went out in fourth place when he was the crowd and judges’ favorite in Season Five. I remember when Kris Allen spoiled Adam Lambert’s long-anticipated coronation, and I remember when chill guy David Cook beat heartthrob David Archuleta for the Idol championship one night after being, well, cooked in the head-to-head competitions in the final round. So…

            Well, having swallowed the unnecessarily-icky dynamic of the Rush Week cuts, I was able to settle into tonight a lot more (being able to see the whole episode certainly helped). As a group, the guys were exponentially better than the girls, even though I think they left two of the best talents sitting on the table. Host Ryan Seacrest was his usual affable self, and judges Harry Connick Jr., Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban got to give out plenty of praise dotted here and there by “dude, you over-sang that” or “dude, that was not your song”. (Oh, and, in Big News, someone other than this season’s big meanie-face judge, Harry, got resounding boos for being a naysayer (Keith).)

             I was a little surprised to see the relatively one-note Caleb Johnson lead off the group. While he’s proven to have mad stage presence and a powerful pair of pipes, he’s just seemed a little too much like a blah big rocker dude. But, as all the judges attested, he got the show off to a rollicking start with a fantastic rendition of “Stay With Me”. It was definitely over-the-top, but he showed that he knows his strong suit and he’s going to attack it 150 percent every time. He has a strong, clear voice, and if he can show a bit of musical flexibility going forward, he could be one of this season’s serious contenders.

            Caleb was followed by his opposite, mellow sweetheart C.J. Harris, who—I can’t lie—stands out in my mind as the black guy who sounds like a white guy (he’s also the emotional guy with the even-more-emotional girlfriend). He’s super likeable, and though I felt his cover of “Shelter” was a little on the safe side, I was reminded he’s got a great voice that blends country and soul perfectly, which will make it easy for him to cross over if the themed weeks ahead get really interesting.

            It’s kind of funny: I thought plucky Emmanuel Zidor did just fine with The Emotions’ “The Best of My Love”…right up until he obediently sang a few lines of a love ballad at JLo’s request during the judges’ remarks. Then I realized what a waste it was for him to sing an oldie that was pretty much made for him—I think he really could have wowed us. I wasn’t surprised by his performance and I enjoyed it, but he might have one of the best overall voices in this group, and he definitely should have showcased it more in this high-pressure Rush Week round. Emmanuel’s impossible not to like, and, though he faltered a little here (thanks, JLo, for making him show it), I’d like to keep seeing him around.

            Coming on the heels of three progressively-older guys in their twenties was seventeen-year-old Sam Woolf, who may take himself a little too seriously but clearly knows who he is as an artist. His rendition of “Babylon” was absolutely perfect for his soulful/indie rock routine—I was hard-pressed to believe he’s still in high school. Unlike some younger guys over the years who are just there for their looks or their youth itself, Sam has real musical talent, and I think it would be a treat to see him gain confidence and grow as an artist in the coming weeks. He doesn’t have the power voice of some of his fellow contestants, but his gentle but brilliant performance here reminded us that he doesn’t need to.

            I told you what happened when Emmanuel showed his real musical talent side, but the first performance I really didn’t care for was George Lovett’s cover of Bruno Mars’ “Grenade”. He was just flat-out trying too hard. He obviously has a good voice, but the way he performed the song, he was like a clenched fist, forcing out every note and every word, something the judges called him on (Harry said he “sang himself right off the mic”—an apt description). He had the passion, but it was an underwhelming go-round.

            From the R&B guy, we got the Country Guy: Dexter Roberts. One of the ones I had no doubt we’d see tonight, Dexter is radio ready: I feel like I could turn on the country radio station I listen to in the car every day and hear him. He’s country to the bone, yet he proved he has more than just a twang singing Craig Morgan’s “This Old Boy”. For a brief moment, he went a cappella, and showed he has a real rich, resounding voice. All the judges love his country act, but are worried he can’t branch out or really distinguish himself as something other than a country act, a perfectly valid concern. Still, this guy is ready to be on the radio.

             After Dexter came another guy I knew we’d see, the low-key, music-worshipping guitar guy Alex Preston. Alex has cruised this far mainly because he doesn’t look or sound like any other American Idol contestant I can remember. He sings the kind of indie rock where a singer, keeping their voice low, goes up and down scales and touches varying levels of emotion all while plucking lightly at their guitar, and could probably go on doing it for hours. While watching him perform “Volcano” I had the distinct thought that while I would probably grow bored listening to his type of music for very long, I can tell I would worship one or two of his songs and come back to them repeatedly. The judges laud him because he reminds us there are other types of music out there other than radio-friendly ballads and pop tunes, which is pretty much exactly his appeal.

            I think crisply-dressed Malcolm Allen disappointed the judges, because, while he obviously has a well-rounded R&B voice, he started out singing so low his performance almost immediately felt kinda boring. Even once he got louder, his “Comin’ Where I Come From” just didn’t sound quite right, as though Malcolm didn’t quite believe in himself or what he was singing. The judges hit him for both over-singing and under-singing, with JLo saying “I should have gotten goosebumps from that one”.

            Last night, he made the Top 15. Tonight, he made the Top 10. Ben Briley, whom Harry apparently nicknamed “Gumbo”, got to perform less than 24 hours after realizing he still had a prayer on Idol. And he made the most of it, putting his ability to mix country, rock and soul in play for a performance of “Soul Shine”. I think Ben over-sings, but he is 100 percent fiery passion; he’s the kind of guy who leaves it all out on stage, and his actual, true ability should surprise people just expecting another bearded-country-hick-with-a-guitar. Basically, I watched his performance and thought—in the words of a previous Idol judge—“he made it his own, dawg”.

            The night closed with the shocking realization that neither of the supposedly-set-in-stone contenders, Casey and Maurice, were moving forward—instead it was female-melting poster boy Spencer Lloyd. Lloyd’s looks made him a hit from his first audition, and he comes from a steady musical background, but he stumbled in the Group Round and didn’t impress the judges with an off-key original song in the final Solo Round. (And on a personal note: not only did I appreciate his performance less because he beat Casey and Maurice, but he looks too much like disgraced baseball star Alex Rodriguez for me to be a fan). I hoped he would vindicate his entry into the Top 10 with his performance, but his cover of “Love Don’t Die”, by The Fray, was more karaoke than anything. He’s got a decent voice, but I think he got a little over-confident with his song choice. Harry chided him, saying sitting at the piano and singing was his “thing”. He should get back to it.

            Well, that was all great. But who will America vote for?

            For some reason, I think Dexter and Sam are the absolute safest of this group, with their respective country-to-the-bone and young/soulful/indie appeals easy to identify and remember (not to mention Sam’s got a chance to snag some of the Adoring Female vote). Spencer didn’t give a great performance, but he’s a Looker who’s been a familiar face on Idol this year and has some real musical talent; plus he went last on the night and is perhaps freshest in people’s minds—I wouldn’t be surprised to see him get the votes despite a less-than-spectacular reception. An obviously-talented and obviously-likeable guy like CJ, who blends country and soul well, is another hot pick—I’d count on him making it. And for the fifth…America just spent a week voting for Ben, surely they won’t forget him so soon, especially after he proved a judges’ favorite. Alex has been, at least in the judges’ eyes, a front-runner all year, but will his offbeat style snag enough votes to get him in? Caleb has stand-out vocal ability and he’s this year’s lone hard-rocker, which could count for a lot, but he did open a two-hour show tonight. So yeah: I think America will vote Dexter, Sam, Spencer, CJ and Ben to the next round. *No fear for those I didn’t mention, as the judges can pick up to three of the remaining guys as wild cards (so even if he is too off-beat for America, Alex is secure in that he’ll get one of those judge-pick slots).

            Which Guys would I pick? As much as I’ve enjoyed Emmanuel, I’d take CJ, Dexter, Alex, Sam and Ben, with Caleb as an alternate.

THE TOP 15 GIRLS: AMERICAN IDOL REVIEW

THE TOP 15 GIRLS (sorta)

AMERICAN IDOL REVIEW - TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 18      

          In a week where much of America was in an uproar over NBC reporter Christin Cooper driving Olympic medal-winning skier Bodie Miller to tears with repeated questions about his dead brother, the first episode of American Idol’s “Rush Week” yielded another deeply-uncomfortable nationally-televised ordeal. I hurried home from work to see as much as I could of the Top 15 girls’ performances (missing first contestant Majesty Rose’s performance by a whisker), only to find I would actually be seeing the Top 10 girls. Turns out the judges whittled the fifteen who made it out of Hollywood down to ten who they really wanted to see perform again (the same will happen with the “Top 15 guys” on Wednesday); the others are left with brave smiles and shattered dreams. All the girls were crowded together in a backstage room called “The Chamber”, and they all technically had the same chance of getting to perform, but some names were called and some weren’t. Those plucked from their seats had to perform through the incredible relief of at least having a shot, and the piercing nerves of their first-ever live performance. Of those 10, five will be voted into the Top 13 by America, and up to three of the others could be chosen by the judges to continue on despite lower vote totals. Great for them, but that left five girls (Jillian Jensen, Kenzie Hall, Andrina Brogden, Brandy Neely and Austin Wolfe) without even the chance to sing, to try and win votes.. Yeeeaaaah, that’s awkward.
         
   **Honestly, I was really, really disappointed and irritated by this big twist for AI, my first complaint about what has been an exciting journey back into Idol fandom for me. How can they drag five people along for months, prepping and getting excited and having their friends and family ready to vote, and then…nothing? It’s true any one of the fifteen could have had that devastating fate befall them, but the fact is ten of them got to perform. For five of them, the AI semifinals were actually over before they even started. (Worse, these five homebound girls weren’t even given their due, but for a quick chance to stand alongside Ryan Seacrest on stage. There was no goodbye montage video, no chance for a speech or even parting words. I suppose AI is aiming to be a little more like The Voice, where the stakes are typically higher all the time and elimination looms with much more unpredictability, but, still, it was just a plain yucky feeling. Did they waste their time? Without even a halfway-decent send-off, it’s an inescapable thought.).***

            As for the ones who got to perform, well, let’s just say judges Harry Connick Jr., Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban constantly noted how much stress/nerves must be affecting them. I have an old-fashioned, off-beat taste in music, so I had only even heard of three of the songs sung. That aside, it was a decent night.

            I don’t know how Majesty did, unfortunately, but she’s been well-liked from her first audition and she’s got a sun-shiny personality. There’s a chance going first in this long evening could make people forget to vote for her, but we’ll see what happens.
            Nurse Kristen O’Connor is super cute and super likeable. As she proved in her “Turning Tables” Adele cover, she has a big voice and a good sound overall—though she admittedly lacks the sheer power of some of her fellow contestants. She seems like she could adapt well to different genres, so she could be a very solid Top 13 contestant, but I’m worried she doesn’t stand out quite enough to make it that far.
            The fact that I couldn’t remember Brianna Oakley’s name, or, even, that she performed? She doesn’t stand out as much as some of the others, either, but she has a great voice and the judges, though a little less than thrilled with her delivery of a toughie song (“Warrior” by Demi Lovato), obviously love her. She’s been an Idol contestant before, though, and it’s possible that previous popularity and sentiment will give her a boost.
            Jena Asciutto has a distinct name (“Jean-uh”), a distinct look (real dark hair, tanned skin, really bright eyes and white teeth) and a big personality, and she had one of the more interesting song choices of the night: The Rolling Stones’ “Paint it Black”. I will say she seemed very professional and comfortable, shooting the camera sultry looks and cradling the mic up close to her mouth as she tapped her into her darker side. Her vocals had a raspy, offbeat, almost metallic edge that was a bit disconcerting at first, but it sounds like the kind of thing that’s popular now. I would bet on Jena making it through.
            Those lips! Whether they’re sharp purple, sparkly gold or Ferrari red, the lips are the first thing you remember/think of/notice when Bria Anai Johnson is in the conversation. Bria, just sixteen, has a much older person’s voice, and she proved it rocking Melanie Fiora’s “Wrong Side of a Love Song”. She can hit some crazy notes (though the judges—Harry in particular—called her out for shouting at times rather than singing) and she’s got a fun personality and has proved memorable, so I like her chances of moving forward.
            When Marielle Sellars auditioned for the judges, everyone—this guy included—was blown away with her devotion to her late father's musical dream and her fun-loving, early-Miley-Cyrus aura. She disappeared during Hollywood Week only to be happily snatched up for the Top 15 (make that Top 10), and then…yikes! Not only did she not listen to guest mentor Adam Lambert’s instructions to not get carried away singing so fun and uppity a song as Katy Perry’s “Roar”, but she ditched her guitar and then got carried away singing such a fun and uppity song. I mean, she worked the crowd and looked like a fearless professional showman, but it was clearly waaay out of her vocal range, getting her immediately and appropriately slapped with the dreaded “Karaoke” label from Keith Urban. Yeah, major misstep. With the hair, the sweet face, fun personality and Miley vibes, Marielle’s memorable, but she’s now lost almost all the good will she built up with an audition that had the judges falling over themselves, and seems on the outside looking in.
            FINALLY! After the drama of a Group Round That Almost Wasn’t, and a pressure-cooker head-to-head sing-off to get into the Top 15, black-and-pink-haired rocker chic Jessica Meuse got to finally put on a singular show. She didn’t listen to Chris Daughtry’s advice to get out of her comfort zone and lose the guitar, but she did sing a song I know well and love: Luke Bryan’s touching “Drink a Beer”. While she sang the song well enough, I felt it was a very safe performance. Jessica’s probably one of the more talented contestants, and she’s had a lion’s share of exposure so far, so I would count on her being either voted in by America or picked by the judges.
            She’ll shave you smooth, all right. For the second time, barely-legal Emily Piriz wiggled and strutted to Grace Potter & The Nocturnals’ “Paris (Ooh La La)”, and, for the second time, Harry Connick Jr. thought it was just too edgy and sexual (interesting note: Emily argued that the song is more about female empowerment. Ummmm….).She was probably the second-best showman on the night after Marielle, and her vocals were solid, but she was seriously dissed by Keith Urban, who threw back in her face a comment she made about standing in front of the mirror for three hours making her rocker chick come out (Keith argued she needs to prove what’s really in her, not what she can manufacture—a fair point). Emily’s on the fence; I don’t know if I was really impressed with her vocals, but she’s memorable and she seemed more natural on the stage than some of the others.
            Did she embolden Juno actress Ellen Page to come out this week? Much was made of MK Nobilette becoming the first real, honest-to-God gay contestant while still on the show, which is probably going to prove huge, as she could now potentially tap into a large and vocal voting fan base few other Idol contestants have ever really reached. Most any of the others in this Top Ten could out-sing MK in a pinch—or an actual, you know, talent contest—but her performance of John Legend’s “All of Me” was far and away my favorite vocal of the night; earnest and sweet, it was her best so far. It was a gentle, soothing, unshowy song, too (my favorite kind). Keith called it a “perfect” song choice. And I just have to say it: that girl is beautiful—people will think and talk more about her sexual orientation and what she means to the show and to society from now on, but she has a really gorgeous face.
            Adorkable? I read this word last week in a description of the bespectacled, braces-wearing tuba player Malaya Watson this week, and it might be true, but dang, that girl can sing. She might have the best outright range of this group, and she brought it in a firing-on-all-cylinders, hyper rendition of Ray Charles’ “Hard Times”. The judges went on and on about how much nerves played a part in a performance that was decidedly over-the-top, but you can’t deny this girl has got spunk. She’s only 16 and she’s got talent, so I’m hoping to see her move forward so she can test her skills at other genres.
                **THAT AWKWARD MOMENT WHEN Malaya, fresh off a performance that certainly won the crowd, scampered over to the comfy blue couches where the girls who got perform were sitting; halfway there, she crossed paths with the freshly-eliminated Contestants That Idol Forgot as they made their way to the stage for a brief curtain call with Ryan Seacrest. As if it the whole sucks-for-you dynamic wasn’t bad enough, you saw Malaya stop in her tracks for a second before skirting past them.
                Yeah, Ryan Seacrest invited Jillian, Austin, Brandy and the others to take a bow (none of them actually did) and then we were treated to a recap of the people who actually did sing. By the time that recap was over, the Forgotten Five were nowhere to be found. Shame on you, Idol. Shame, shame, shame.
            **Well, one other big thing happened tonight—America decided who the 15th of the Top 15 guys will be. They chose wild-eyed country boy Ben Briley over smooth-dressing Neco Starr.
            Well, okay, who will America vote for? Well, that’s impossible to predict. Put a gun to my head, and I’d say Majesty, Bria, Jessica, MK and Malaya. Man, that’s five already? If it were up to me, I'd pick Bria, Jessica, MK, Malaya and either Kristen or Majesty, but it's not up to me...

            More tomorrow night! See which unfortunately-cursed guys went through all this work for nothing and don’t even get a chance at your votes!!

THE LEGO MOVIE

The Lego Movie (2014)

Grade: B+

Featuring the voices of: Chris Pratt, Elizabeth Banks, Will Ferrell, Morgan Freeman, Liam Neeson, Will Arnett and Alison Brie; with Jadon Sands as Finn (in live-action)

Premise: An average Joe Lego man is mistaken for a prophetic hero, causing the authorities and a rebel sect of free-thinkers to try and capture him in order to utilize his talents.

Rated PG (featuring stylized action and some intense moments)

Well, I’ll be darned if watching The Lego Movie didn’t make me want to play with Legos—just a little. This movie, which contains little else but the connect ‘em toys we’ve all played with, bursts off the screen with the energy and attention span of a kid on a sugar rush, but it’s far from mindless nonsense. A cross between the wacky irreverence of The Looney Tunes and The Emperor’s New Groove, the visual and creative panache of Toy Story and Wreck-It Ralph, and more than a hint of the satire of Shrek, this Lego Movie ain’t just for kids barely old enough to not automatically put any Lego they see in their mouths. Featuring an all-star voice cast, some gut-busting humor, a fun story and a nice-enough moral about using your imagination and having fun, Lego is an engaging time at the movies, feeling both familiar and brand new at the same time and, like the best animated movies, providing a real mental escape. Don’t believe me? Watch it, and I bet you’ll forget, at least for a minute, that you’re watching a movie based on those little colorful blocks you stick atop one another.

Plot

It’s not easy being just another Lego guy. Construction worker Emmet (voice of Chris Pratt) tries to have a really good day by following encouraging instructions in a manual, but when he’s alone at the end of a work day, he feels a little down. He can’t even approach a beautiful woman without falling down a shaft at his work site. Fall he does, and he inadvertently becomes connected to a fabled piece of Lego that can thwart the plans of his town’s secretly-evil president/dictator, Lord Business (voice of Will Ferrell). Emmet doesn’t understand what's going on, not even after he’s sprung from Lord Business’ heavily-guarded lair by the same beautiful woman he saw before. With multi-colored hair and a knack for creating complex machines out of random blocks in a jiffy, Wyldstyle (voice of Elizabeth Banks) claims to be one of a secret group of Builders who can create most anything out of Legos. Due to their impulsive, inventive nature, they’ve been banned by Lord Business, who likes order and normalcy in his world. The Builders have long been seeking the Master Builder, who would find the Piece of Resistance that could clog the doomsday device Lord Business is planning to unveil. Hint: the Piece of Resistance is the piece Emmet found underground, and it’s not just connected to him, it’s become fused to his back. Lord Business and his cronies want it so they can end all resistance once and for all, and Wyldstyle and the other builders want Emmet to dig down and use his Master Builder skills to stop Lord Business’ regime. But plain old Emmet isn’t sure he’s really the person everyone thinks he is.

What Works?

If the idea of a regular guy being caught up in dramatic circumstances seems familiar, it is, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Especially not with the breathless pace, clever sight gags and absurdly-funny characterizations in play here. And in what other adventure movie does the hero become romantic rivals with Batman (voice of Will Arnett), get assistance from an uber-perky mutant named Unikitty (voice of Alison Brie) and get necessary exposition both in life and from beyond the grave via an old, wizened mystic (voice of Morgan Freeman)? The Lego Movie is a blast, showcasing hundreds of the Lego line’s toys without being ridiculous or feeling like mere product-placement, and drawing on the star power of its voice cast for laughs (Freeman’s unexpectedly snarky, Ferrell continuously mispronounces common brand names like Krazy Glue and Bandaid for comedic effect, and serious old Liam Neeson cleverly provides both voices for a Good Cop/Bad Cop schizophrenic). Like the best movies, Lego keeps you on the edge of your seat, eagerly anticipating the next scene, the next gag, the next line of dialogue—it feels completely fresh (Brie’s Unikitty is a hoot; her superbly-expressive block face might be the single best thing in the movie). The deceptively simple nature of the toys provides constant delight, with everything, including droplets of water, explosions, and laser blasts from guns manifested by the little blocks, an effect that simultaneously amazes and amuses. Right away, I wanted to watch this one again, and I’m actually excited (rather than cynical) upon hearing they’re working on a sequel. It’s great, especially since this one ends with one of its best jokes.

p.s. There’s a simple but undeniably catchy song (“Everything is Awesome”) that you won’t be able to keep from singing during the credits.

What Doesn’t Work?

Like most absurdist comedies, Lego Movie has to come back to earth sometimes, and its attempts at seriousness tend to border on boring or unnecessarily edgy. And there might be a few too many gags—as awesome as it is that Billy Dee Williams and Anthony Daniels reprise their most famous Hollywood roles, a random Star Wars bit feels like one thing too many. There’s also an extended live-action scene that attempts to explain…well, it doesn’t explain too much, other than the movie’s theme of letting go and having fun. It’s decent enough, but, despite an appearance by Ferrell, it felt unnecessary—the filmmakers were doing well enough with what they had without trying to go bigger.

Content

Kids and adults alike will laugh, be delighted, and get that song stuck in their heads. There are a few moments where the pell-mell action gets a little intense and things look serious, but, otherwise, this movie is a comfy PG (the best kind of PG, too, where parents will enjoy it as much as their kids).

Bottom Line:

Everything is awesooooommme!!! Pretty much. Didn’t think they could make a legitimately enjoyable full-length feature film using only Legos? Well, they did (and there’s even a nod to Bionicle in it). A great voice cast and rapid-fire inside jokes, visual gags, and an engaging storyline make The Lego Movie one to remember.

The Lego Movie (2014)

Written and Directed by Phil Lord and Christopher Miller

Inspired by the Lego Construction Toys

Rated PG

Length: 100 minutes

MY TOP TEN MOVIES OF 2013

Best Movies of the Year - 2013 edition

Ahhhh, yes. This time last year, I was in a tizzy, scrambling to come up with a list of my top 10 favorite movies of 2012, which was a problem because there was only one movie I could really get behind: Les Miserables. Sure, there were a few solid titles like Skyfall and Paranorman, but there were a bunch of movies I had liked when I saw them, but, by year's end, hadn't seen in months (Argo, The Perks of Being A Wallflower) and had a hard time mustering enthusiasm for. Thankfully, that's not a problem this year. Because of tighter finances and a regular all-day work schedule, I didn't see nearly as many movies in 2013, and, due to some fatigue, I didn't even review them all on this site. Still, I've been making unofficial Top Ten lists every year since 2003, and this anniversary year had a bunch of movies that delivered.

It's not easy to put movies in order, because every movie is different. After all, how do you compare a movie like Fruitvale Station-a movie that plays like a day-in-the-life pic until a gripping last 20 minutes-with an explosive blockbuster like The Hunger Games: Catching Fire? And like the Academy is going to have to decide, how do you determine which movie was better: a feast for the eyes that's also an exercise in unrelenting suspense, like Gravity, or a haunting, slow-burn drama that packs one heck of an emotional wallop, like 12 Years A Slave? It's never easy, especially when, this year, I had four particular movies that each, in their own way, absolutely knocked my socks off (Catching Fire, Gravity, 12 Years A Slave, and Captain Phillips). I could probably, at any given moment, talk myself into why any of them was the best, or why I'd rather re-watch one instead of the others. Luckily (or unluckily, I suppose), 12 Years was the only one of that quartet I haven't seen a second time, so I've got a pretty good handle on how good I really thought they each were. But anyway, here's the list:

Honorable Mentions
I always have to do this, because I enjoy movies, and ten is too few to acknowledge (is it weird to say I actually feel bad for movies at times like this? Because I do...). Some movies I enjoyed very much this year were the true-story Formula One rivalry flick Rush, which centered on the relationship between two very differently-cut individuals (played by Chris Hemsworth and Daniel Bruhl); the zombie-human romance Warm Bodies, a surprisingly delightful and upbeat flick that was a huge breath of fresh air after all the drama that usually packs theaters; and Ender's Game, a visually-brilliant, largely-faithful adaptation of Orson Scott Card's book about a genius boy who gets a chance to prove his mettle at an elite, futuristic military school.

10. Mandela: Long Walk to Freedom
It could be a little dry as it dutifully recounted history, but not only is a lot of that history plenty interesting, but the movie was given even more weight by South African icon Nelson Mandela's death in early December. Strong performances by Idris Elba and Naomi Harris headlined this drama that sought to explain Mandela's almost-improbable desire for peace and unity, even amongst the white South African minority that had oppressed him and his people. I walked out of that movie more amazed by the story it told then by its merits as a movie, but I'll probably watch it again.

9. Man of Steel
I walked out of Man of Steel raving about its awesomeness, and, after three other viewings of the film (including two on DVD), I'm confident placing this movie here. It's true it burns through a lot of good will in a perfunctory, not-too-exciting action/destruction bonanza of a last half hour, but, before that, Steel proved an uncommonly good character drama, establishing Superman's origins both on Krypton and on Earth. I guess we'll see how its Superman vs. Batman sequel goes in a few years, but, with some great visuals and a killer cast, this movie gave me one great gift: it reminded me how awesome rooting on a superhero with real, childlike joy and awe can be. Best superhero movie since The Dark Knight, in my opinion.  

8. Her
With an interesting premise and a few great actors, this movie lured me in, and, though I grew a little tired of its 'oversexualization', I couldn't help but be impressed by the brilliant writing. It's about a man in love with the female voice of his computer, but, with writer/director Spike Jonze's flowing dialogue and Scarlett Johanssen's note-perfect line delivery, it's hard to look back and acknowledge that Samantha had no physical presence in the movie. Her was, at times, laugh-out-loud funny and, at others, touching and brutally, emotionally real. Interesting how a movie in which a computer had the lion's share of the dialogue was one of the most human of the year.

7. Saving Mr. Banks
We're already getting to the nitty gritty, because this was one of the most fiercely-moving films of the year. It may have been a little conventional, but this story--about how stingy, uptight author P.L. Travers agreed to let Walt Disney turn her beloved literary creation, Mary Poppins, into a movie--crackled with dry wit, inner turmoil, hilarious situational humor, and tearjerking pathos. Oscar snubs Emma Thompson and Tom Hanks were terrific, as was a large, wonderful supporting cast that helped re-establish the glory of both Disney and showbusiness.

6. Fruitvale Station
Fruitvale is only significant because everybody knows the end, but that's what makes it so good. This day-in-the-life of accidental shooting victim Oscar Grant has a little bit of everything, from realistic domestic strife and inner turmoil to gut-wrenching suspense and heart-wrending tragedy. At 85 minutes, it was short but unforgettable, with star-making performances by Michael B. Jordan and Melonie Diaz. This movie truly made me want to go out and be nicer to people, to not judge people on their appearances.

5. Star Trek: Into Darkness
I might have worn out my enthusiasm for this movie by watching it a ton since I got it on DVD, but this sequel to the 2009 reboot--one of my all-time favorite movies--was completely engaging and exciting. Adding slick Brit Benedict Cumberbatch to a cast already consisting of Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto and Karl Urban, and beefing up the screen time for the terrific Simon Pegg, Into Darkness left me looking forward to J.J. Abrams' next "episode".

4. 12 Years A Slave
Here's where it gets hard. Close to an hour into this quiet but devastating drama, I was unimpressed; an hour later, I walked out repeatedly uttering things like "wow" and "that was a good movie". You've got to have a tough stomach to watch this hair-raising story (a true one) about a free black man from the North who was kidnapped and sold into slavery in the pre-Civil War south. You'll never forget some of the scenes of whipping and beating, and you'll be hard-pressed to forget some of the acting performances, from supporters Paul Dano and Sarah Paulson to the Oscar-nominated trio of Chiwetel Ejiofor, Michael Fassbender and Lupita Nyong'o. It can be bleak, but this superbly-moving film deserves every accolade it's been getting. **Even though it's 4th on my list, I will have no complaints when it wins the Best Picture Academy Award.**

3. The Hunger Games: Catching Fire
The flat-out best movie adaptation of any book I've ever read. I saw it opening night in a theater rife with feverish excitement, and it delivered, completely fulfilling anything fans of the book or the previous movie could have hoped for. Catching Fire is a sprawling, sensational, action-packed spectacle that immediately eclipsed its predecessor as the better film, and finally convinced me that Jennifer Lawrence really is a force of nature to watch out for. Lawrence heads a great cast, and director Frances Lawrence (no relation) brings all the goods, making masterful work of some of the book's best sequences (the poisonous fog, the jabberjays, the lighting tree). I'm almost surprised it wasn't nominated for Oscars; it was that good. My high opinion of it held up after a second viewing; good luck, future blockbusters, in matching this level of awesome.

2. Captain Phillips
Almost forgotten in the midst of more emotional (12 Years A Slave) and flashier (Catching Fire) movies, Captain Phillips was going to come in low on this list until I rented it and re-watched it last night, and it blew me away. It's not Tom Hanks' acting, either...the movie's amazing authenticity, it's thinking-person's action, and hair-raising suspense make it a top-of-the-line thriller. I wish they'd beefed up the ending a little bit, but, otherwise, I have no other complaints about this rock-solid movie I could watch again right now.

1. Gravity
Back in October, I walked out of Alfonso Cuaron's amazing brainchild raving that it was one of the best movies I'd ever seen. While that was passion-of-the-moment praise, to be sure, I watched it a second time, and, was again, blown away by its stunning visuals, nonstop suspense and primal fight-for-survival themes. I'd never been a Sandra Bullock fan before...I am now. I'd never wanted to see a movie in 3-D before; I accomplished that today, and am happier for the experience. From its epic tracking shots to its story to Bullock's acting to the amazing visual effects and the soaring emotion of the ending, this is just a great, great movie.