HER ROYAL HIGHNESS DEPARTS-AMERICAN IDOL REVIEW

HER ROYAL HIGHNESS DEPARTS

One-Time Front-Runner Majesty Never Quite Found Her Groove

Well, you can’t say this season of American Idol doesn’t at least have some interesting plot twists.  On the heels of an intriguing night of the nine remaining contestants singing songs with a band onstage, Majesty Rose was voted off the show. Such an idea would have been a sacrilege a few weeks ago, but former favorite Majesty took a nosedive in recent weeks, trying too many different types of music and failing to really connect with any of them. Her ouster (following an unsuccessful attempt to sing for the judges’ one Save) followed two weeks of her being amongst the Bottom Three vote-getters.

It’s interesting that Majesty’s downward spiral began three weeks ago when she sang a song the whole world’s been obsessed with for four months: Idina Menzel’s ballad “Let it Go”, from Frozen. It’s also interesting that Majesty was voted off Idol the same night Janelle Monae performed—Majesty’s last real home run performance was a Top 13 rendition of Monae’s “Tightrope”, which showcased her considerable energy and impressive pipes. Majesty, by the way, was joined in the Bottom Three by the likeable but bland duo of teen heartthrob Sam Woolf and Southern gentleman CJ Harris.

Given the amount the judges’ save has been talked about recently, I was a bit surprised Jennifer Lopez, Keith Urban and Harry Connick Jr. didn’t use that on someone as obviously talented as Majesty. I knew her stock had been waning in recent weeks—it’s somewhat ironic that hers was the only performance last night I didn’t see—and the judges’ had been criticizing her for trying too many different types of music without really connecting with the audience on any of them, but she was one of the clear favorites when this Top 13 was put together. For her “Sing for the Save” performance, Majesty sang the song that got her through that Rush Week and established her as one of the primary contenders, Pharrell Williams’ “Happy”, from Despicable Me 2. I didn’t see that Rush Week performance, but her rendition tonight was awkward, off-key and consistently out of breath.

I was also a little surprised—but not necessarily disappointed—that tonight’s results show was a mere 30 minutes. With the new Christopher Meloni-starring sitcom Surviving Jack premiering at 9:30, host Ryan Seacrest kept things moving along with a minimum of fuss. With Monae’s performance the only live music, the only non-results time-fillers were a brief video of the contestants joking around at their weekly post-performance dinner, and a blip where Randy Jackson singled out Caleb Johnson, Jena Irene and Malaya Watson as his favorites from last night. Then, with all the contestants seated on stools, six were sent, one-by-one, to the safety of the lounge.

As the judges noted, America’s votes have largely been based on each week’s performances, rather than on any contestant’s reputation or likeability, an interesting change for the show. That said, I was surprised to see Sam in the Bottom Three this week—though Sam has long been struggling to really bring energy and connect with the audience, I certainly thought “Hey There Delilah” was popular enough of a song to get him the votes necessary for safety. But with a second Bottom Three performance under his belt and a Top Five of Caleb, Jena, Malaya, Alex Preston and Jessica Meuse starting to take shape, it’s clear he needs to pick things up, no matter how many times Keith Urban calls his voice “buttah”. Meanwhile, Thursday was also CJ’s long-deserved first stint in the Bottom Three. Criticized week in and week out for being off-key and/or trying too hard, CJ’s only had one week where he really showed flashes of true talent and magnetism. He’s a nice guy, but he seems a little too genteel to really compete here.

*CJ’s the one I figured the judges wouldn’t save, if he was the lowest vote-getter. I thought the judges would save Majesty or Sam. (I’m not sorry they didn’t, though—I’m going to be bummed one week when they don’t narrow the field at all by saving somebody, and they only have two more weeks to do it.)*

So, after a quick show and a result that would have seemed impossible three weeks ago, here are the newest power rankings:

1. Caleb Johnson—Back at the top after a week off, Caleb wowed the judges, Randy and America, and earned the thrice-repeated label of “sexy” from Jennifer Lopez, who, herself, happens to be one of the sexiest people on the planet. He’s got a great voice, great stage presence, and, unlike many of the others, always brings energy and passion. I can’t quite bring myself to say he’s the one to beat this year, but he’s going a long way.
2. Jessica Meuse—She’s the only woman left on the show who hasn’t been in the Bottom Three yet, and after picking things up the last few weeks with her more energetic renditions of “Pumped Up Kicks” and “Rhiannon”, her stock’s edging upward. An experienced performer, she’s finally showing real signs of life.
3. Alex Preston—No Doubt’s “Don’t Speak” was an ambitious song choice for our resident off-beat, soft singer, what with that song’s inherent power and passion, but he opened the show with it, got praise from the judges, and slipped through without a hitch. Along with the two above him on these rankings, Alex is among the three who have not yet been in the Bottom Three, and one senses he’s seen where the weirdness/awkwardness line is, and he’s not going to go there again.
4. Jena Irene—For three weeks now, she’s been singing songs you can picture on a Jena album, and, for those same three weeks, she’s been getting praise from the judges. Not unbridled praise, mind you, but she’s become one of the most reliably interesting and solid performers on the show.
5. Malaya Watson—Malaya’s another one who’s completely turned things around after an iffy first few weeks of the finals; she’s found herself, singing heartfelt ballads. With her voice and passion, she could be an absolutely phenomenal talent in a few years, but, as it is, she’s become very consistent.
6. Dexter Roberts—I don’t wanna put Dexter here, but, a week removed from his first Bottom Three stint, Dexter cruised despite another weak country karaoke rendition. He said he would “change it up” this next week, and Lord, please, let him do it.
7. Sam Woolf—“Hey There Delilah” didn’t quite have the magic, huh? No one doubts Sam’s great voice or the fact that girls adore him, but after initially seeming like one of this year’s strongest performers, he’s been limping along. Perhaps he’s a little too young, just not quite ready, but his performances continue to lack life.
8. CJ Harris—Every week, CJ gets a lesson in correct musicality from Harry Connick Jr, and it’s about time he start taking the man’s advice. He sings with clear passion, but he’s been struggling against the current for a while—the Golden Boy image that got him a Wild Card pass into the Top 13 has long gone.

DIVERGENT. SON OF GOD. NON-STOP. A TRIPLE REVIEW

DIVERGENT/SON OF GOD/NON-STOP—TRIPLE REVIEW

I’ve been a little inconsistent reviewing movies lately, which is shame, because this winter/early spring has seen a lot more quality movies than last year (last year, if you remember, was populated mostly by lackluster attempts at recreating beloved fairy tales, like Jack the Giant Slayer and Oz The Great and Powerful). While none of these three movies absolutely knocked my socks off, they came close, and all deserve a mention as solid, engaging times at the movies.

DIVERGENT

Grade: B

Starring: Shailene Woodley, Theo James, Kate Winslet, Jai Courtney, Zoe Kravitz, Miles Teller and Ashley Judd

Rated PG-13 for action and some strong, brutal violence, language, sensuality and some intense emotional content

First of all, for you extreme skeptics, it’s not an exact re-creation of The Hunger Games. Yeah, Divergent is also based on a recently-published Young Adult novel about a tough teenage girl, but this adaptation of Veronica Roth’s best-seller actually reminded me more of black-and-white dystopian sagas like The City of Ember and Ayn Rand’s “Anthem”. Here, post-apocalyptic Chicago thrives thanks to a system in which people are given homes, lifestyles and jobs based on their primary trait, be it Courage, Wisdom, Happiness, Honesty or Selflessness. Born into the plain, humble faction that values selflessness above all—called “Abnegation”—sixteen-year-old Beatrice (Shailene Woodley, of George Clooney’s The Descendants) is stuck with a serious dilemma after the psychological test that normally nudges teens in the right direction fails to give her any real guidance. Taking a chance, she joins Dauntless, the faction that values courage and trains relentlessly in order to serve as the city's military/police force. It proves a fierce, unforgiving new life, but Beatrice –who renames herself “Tris”—makes it, thanks in large part to tips from drill-instructor/potential love-interest Four (James Franco lookalike Theo James). But there’s trouble on the horizon—some of the city’s top minds are hatching a plan to wipe out the weakest faction by taking control of Dauntless, and only people like Tris stand in their way. Why? Because she’s not so easily categorized or controlled, which the city's greatest minds called "divergent".

I’ll start by saying Divergent is an overall better-made movie than the first Hunger Games, with spotless special effects and many impressive, streamlined visuals. I was also intrigued by the sub-Harry Potter idea of people being sorted by their primary traits. However, that overall concept is better than the story itself. After a solid beginning, the movie starts to lose steam. This is due largely to A) the second half’s increasing focus on Tris/Four’s boring burgeoning romance, and B) the fact that dystopian stories are getting so familiar—the third act always includes revolution and action. In fact, despite the breathless action of the movie’s last 30 minutes, Divergent starts to feel long and, dare I say it, too easy.

As for the cast, which includes a lot of familiar faces, there’s not a whole lot of juicy material to go around. Just for a fun comparison’s sake, I will say that Shailene Woodley is a more expressive and instantly-likeable actress than Jennifer Lawrence, even if she lacks J-Law’s attention-grabbing magnetism. Woodley’s performance isn’t overall as taxing as either of Lawrence’s Hunger Games go-rounds, but she has one moment of piercing, visceral emotion that actually tops anything J-Law has done onscreen. Woodley’s main co-star, relative newcomer Theo James, is not a moony-eyed wastrel like the main male characters in other YA sagas (like Twilight), but he's not super-charismatic, and he seriously looks so much like James Franco it’s distracting. Kate Winslet has a few solid moments as an icy government dame, and a small cluster of up-and-coming stars—Zoe Kravitz, Miles Teller and Ansel Eglort (who will play Woodley's love interest in another upcoming YA adaptation called Fault in Our Stars)—stand out from the pack.

I think it’s worth a shot for anyone curious, though it’s not on the breathtaking level of The Hunger Games—certainly not the exquisite Catching Fire of this past November. They clearly pulled out all the stops to make a worthwhile adaptation, but, despite some very intriguing moments, I couldn’t help but feel it was more impressive as a product than as a quality movie. I do know a couple fans of the book who loved it, though.

SON OF GOD

Grade: B

Starring: Diogo Morgado as Jesus, Greg Hicks as Pontius Pilate, Darwin Shaw as Peter, Joe Wredden as Judas, Sebastian Knapp as John, Roma Downey as Mary, the mother of Jesus, Adrian Schiller as Caiaphas, the High Priest and Simon Kunz as Nicodemus

Rated PG-13 for thematic material including strong violence, bloody content and scenes of torture, and intense emotional content

I guess I got what I expected with Son of God. Despite my Christian faith, I had steered clear of this “Jesus movie” so far, for fears that it would seem rushed or overly-earnest in its execution. I mean, we have four full Gospels in the Bible that describe the life and teachings of Jesus—how effective could a two-hour movie be? Well, a team of four screenwriters, including director Christopher Spencer, made the right call, with only a brief Nativity prologue preceding the arrival of a grown Jesus in Galilee, where he meets Peter and begins gaining followers, preaching about God’s love and grace, and working miracles.

True, all of this has been done before. I've definitely been more impressed by this same material in other screen attempts, like the Robert Powell-starring Jesus of Nazareth mini-series from the ‘70s, which at least had four-plus hours to chronicle these events. The early scenes here, of Jesus healing a paralytic, feeding crowds of thousands, and speaking parables are a little too crisply-done, putting one in mind of a decent church backyard production. Jesus is at least appropriately depicted as very warm, approachable individual, and other central figures are given some engaging depth as well, including Roman Governor Pontius Pilate, Jesus’ strongest follower, Peter, and Jesus’ betrayer, Judas Iscariot. Son of God definitely feels long, and things don’t really pick up until Jesus and his disciples arrive in Jerusalem, where the Palm Sunday arrival, Last Supper, betrayal, trial, beating and crucifixion are all vividly and convincingly portrayed.

As a Christian, I give the filmmakers credit. Despite a slow build-up, the key scenes involving Jesus’ torture, His slow trek to Golgotha and His crucifixion are as riveting as they’re supposed to be, and nearly on-par in sheer piercing impact with Mel Gibson’s famously-bloody 2004 film The Passion of the Christ. (Give credit to the Son of God filmmakers, who push their PG-13 rating to the limit and drive home the point without the second-by-second, misery-inducing depiction that made up Gibson’s feature.) This film is, in many ways, not long enough, but it certainly made me want to read the Gospels again, to remind myself of all the details contained in the text about Jesus and His workings. Can I really ask more than that?

NON-STOP

Grade: B-

Starring: Liam Neeson, Julianne Moore, Michelle Dockery, Scoot McNairy, Corey Stoll and Lupita Nyong’o

Rated PG-13 for intense action and violence, language and some disturbing images

Liam Neeson’s re-imagining as a gritty, grey-haired butt-kicker continues in Non-Stop, which pits Neeson, as an air marshal with a shady past, against an unknown nemesis who threatens to torment and then fatally end the flight on which our main character has sought travel. Though the flight begins pleasantly, with Neeson’s Bill Marks chatting lightly with the lady sitting next to him (Julianne Moore), things quickly go south when he gets a disturbing text message in which an unnamed someone threatens to kill a passenger every 30 minutes unless given a multi-million dollar payday. The flight’s captain (Linus Roache, who will look familiar after playing Bruce Wayne’s ill-fated father in Batman Begins) is skeptical of the threat, given the packed flight’s close quarters, but, sure enough, people start dying. Then, the increasingly rattled and paranoid Marks packs the passengers together and holds them at gunpoint, demanding to see their hands, to see their phones, and to demand information. Terrified and confused, the passengers begin to suspect something about Marks’ allegiances, especially when word get out that he’s a drunk and a divorcee loner with a controversial reputation and long-standing grief over a lost child. And then there’s that suspicious suitcase that was brought on the flight by a fellow air marshal, who somehow ended up dead at Marks’s hands…

Anyone who doesn’t already like air travel should definitely avoid Non-Stop—the content of which looks even more disturbing in light of the recent real-world story of the missing flight from Malaysia, which, itself, was likely hijacked or steered awry by someone on the crew who was thought to be trustworthy. Riding Neeson’s broad, intense shoulders, this film is crazy-suspenseful and it’s easy to imagine the confusion and terror experienced by the passengers, what with the unforgettable facts of 9/11 and the isolation of airplanes miles into thea ir. Solid supporting performances are given by Moore, Michelle Dockery as a put-upon flight attendant, Scoot McNairy (from the Best Picture winner Argo) as a weak-looking-but-suspicious passenger, Corey Stoll as an off-duty cop who tries to rally his fellow passengers into a mutiny against Marks, and recent Oscar-winner Lupita Nyong’o as another wary, scared flight attendant. Like most claustrophobic terrorist thrillers, Non-Stop can hold you in quite a grip (despite a certain lack of originality), but sustaining that is always a difficult task. This film does unfortunately deflate a little with a too-happy ending. It doesn’t feature Neeson’s best or most original performance, either. But if you’ve got the guts for it, it’ll hold your attention.

MORE INFORMATION

Divergent (2014)

Directed by Neil Burger

Written for the Screen by Evan Daugherty and Vanessa Taylor

Based on the novel “Divergent” by Veronica Roth

Rated PG-13

Length: 139 minutes

Son of God (2014)

Directed by Christopher Spencer

Written for the Screen by Richard Bedser, Christopher Spencer, Colin Swash and Nic Young

Rated PG-13

Length: 138 minutes

Non-Stop (2014)

Directed by Jaume Collet-Serra

Written for the Screen by John W. Richardson, Christopher Roach and Ryan Engle

Rated PG-13

Length: 106 minutes

MMMMMKAY JUST NOT ENOUGH--AMERICAN IDOL REVIEW

MMMMMKAY JUST NOT ENOUGH—American Idol Results

One-Note Crooner Endearing, But Lucky To Get Even This Far

Jennifer Lopez couldn’t bring herself to say it, but, when it came down to it, fellow American Idol judge Harry Connick Jr. took the reigns and said what some of us have been saying for weeks: it’s time for MK Nobilette to go home. The cap-wearing, openly-gay contestant was considering groundbreaking in some corners and inspiring in others, and she certainly was a likeable soul, but it was evident a long time ago she didn’t have the chops for this competition. Her “Sing-For-the-Save” solo at the end—a reprise of John Legend’s “All of Me”, which was previously provided her best moment on the show—reminded even MK’s critics, like me, what a great tone of voice she had for crooning, but when she tried to air out her voice for longer notes, the winces started coming. MK never had the power for the long notes in a gentle John Legend song, let alone for the more energetic Alan Stone, Train and Pink renditions she attempted. She’d been in the Bottom Three two of the last three weeks, but it took an unmistakable death knell—an awful performance to lead off the show last night—to really pinch off her contention this season. Let’s all hope she can drum up some more energy and desire for the Idol Tour this summer.

MK was joined in the Bottom Three by Majesty Rose—whose stock has plummeted in the last two weeks—and Dexter Roberts, whose first appearance on the stools had been a long time coming for those of us bored by his lazily-predictable country renditions. Surprisingly, though, it was Dexter who joined MK in the Bottom Two, and who just barely escaped having to sing for the save. What Dexter’s fate would have been at the judges’ hands, I couldn’t tell you, but I’d have been interested to see. Still, it was MK’s time to go.

Dexter’s Bottom Three appearance made crystal clear what has become increasingly apparent on this season of Idol; there is parity, and a lot of it, amongst this year’s unspectacular group of contestants. The only singers who have yet to appear in the Bottom Three since the finals began are front-runners Caleb Johnson and Alex Preston, highly sought-after country rock chick Jessica Meuse, and CJ Harris, if you want to count him considering he only made the Top 13 as a judges’ Wild Card Pick (and he was lucky, to say the least, to avoid the Bottom Three after his utterly woebegone performance last night). Anyway, at least the fact that nearly everyone has been in the Bottom Three and Safe gives host Ryan Seacrest a lot of different teasing punchlines when he’s delivering results (“you are going back………to the lounge” “you are going to have to endure the stress….of the competition”).

Apart from the results themselves, the show was the typical pleasant but let’s-just-get-to-the-results cookie cutter these Thursday nights have consistently been. There were some nice moments when Harry, Jennifer, Keith Urban and even Ryan reminisced about the first time they heard themselves on the radio, and Caleb elicited “awwwws” from the women in the house when he openly apologized for making light on Wednesday of taunting fellow contestant Alex with peanuts, to which the latter is allergic (my favorite part of this was when Caleb, after a supportive pat on the back from Seacrest, reached over to shake Alex’s hand in truce; with his ducked hand and bland, plastered grin, it’s clear Alex didn’t have the faintest clue what was going on). JLO taught us all a little bit about owning the stage and the audience’s attention, even if it was in a performance of her new cheesy, nearly-unintelligible single “I Luh Ya Papi”. And a pick of Harry’s provided this week’s “Tastemakers” special, when his fellow New Orleans natives Royal Tree took to the stage and performed their song “Wild”. Wild it was, with the male lead singing constant falsetto and dancing up a storm, the rafters providing a late-act confetti explosion, and the whole band breaking into an even later-act heavy instrumental riff that sounded something like U2-lite.

Is this season of Idol anyone’s? Like I said, there’s serious parity (more to the point, no one has really, truly risen above the crowd yet, with Caleb—who’s come the closest—coming back to earth a little this week). Is Idol just long in the tooth? I think the judges are getting pretty frustrated that no one’s really blowing them away without question, and all three have, at points, straight-up lectured contestants on singing, overcoming obstacles onstage, and bringing energy and originality. It’s only going to get harder from here, though—MK’s omission was a long time coming, and her ouster means one seat in the Bottom Three that was usually taken is now vacant, and no wants to fill it. But that means some people are going to have to show another side.

This season’s parity is so great, and the judges’ views so in flux and America’s votes so—surprisingly—on point, that my power rankings are getting shuffled like decks of cards every week. This week, Alex took over the top spot after a second-straight ‘A’ performance, edging out Caleb, who (apparently) took a slight misstep.

POWER RANKINGS

1. Alex Preston-After his most passionate and powerful performance so far, Alex, already a crowd and judge favorite, is riding high. He needs to be careful not to let his very noticeable quirks upstage his singing, but he’s cruising along.
2. Caleb Johnson-I’m still a little confused as to what exactly I missed Wednesday night, when the judges and everybody thought Caleb’s performance was kinda lackluster when I was blown away, but this season’s best musical talent is still right at the top.
3. Malaya Watson-With her too-excited, screechy, Red-Bull-wired performances sliding further and further back into the rear-view mirror, replaced in the consciousness by crisper, more mature performances, Malaya’s cashing in on her considerable potential.
4. Sam Woolf-He’s probably the least-interesting contestant left, but he recovered well from a dalliance in the Bottom Three with his liveliest and best performance in a month. He’s got a lot to work on, but we know the girls are behind him.
5. Jena Irene-The last few weeks, Jena’s been doing what all the contestants should be doing—showing us exactly what kind of artist she could be out in the real world. Her Electronic Rock performance wasn’t the best, but America clearly lapped it up, and the judges are moving more and more into her corner.
6. Jessica Meuse-For the second time, Jessica was at the center of an epic debate by the judges on the merits of various keystones of performing music (passion vs. quality; mood vs. lyrics). While she has yet to really, really come to life, “Pumped Up Kicks” was a start—easily the most exciting she’s been—and she hasn’t been even close to jeopardy so far, but I really think, especially for an experienced singer, she needs to up her game big-time.
7. Dexter Roberts-His Bottom Three appearance was just, but he won’t go anywhere just yet. He definitely needs to show he’s more than just a country karaoke singer who picks the most obvious songs each week, but his votes will rebound.
8. CJ Harris-CJ avoids the bottom spot on my rankings simply because he’s getting the votes he needs despite being one of this season’s most consistently bland performers. He’s so lucky to have survived this week without a hitch, let alone to have gotten a legit heartfelt shout-out video from Hunter Hayes, who’s song he mangled last night. CJ showed another gear last week; he needs to shift back to it fast.
9. Majesty Rose-Man, if she was scared this week… Okay, so, she wasn’t in the Bottom Two this time, but two straight weeks in the Bottom Three with not-that-bad performances is a long way to fall for our former golden girl. Is it possible she’s just a little too light and airy to connect? She is all about flowers and twinkly smiles; she doesn’t quite have the passion to go along with her diverse vocal sounds and lovable personality. When most of her competitors are finding their niche audiences (if not their actual quality music niche), Majesty needs to find her A-game.

TEN TOP TEN HITS--American Idol Review

TEN TOP TEN HITS—American Idol Review

“Chart-topper” Theme Dares Contestants To Rise Above Beloved Hits

For the first time this season, I wasn’t really in the mood for American Idol tonight. After a long day at work, some engaging episodes of Modern Family and The Big Bang Theory, and vacation/travel plans ready to assert themselves early Friday, I wasn’t glued to the couch/TV like I have been most of the past few months for Idol. That lack of interest meant the contestants needed to wow me, and now that the night’s over, I’m feeling only slightly more impressed than I was after the pretty terrible Top 12 performance night two weeks ago.

Tonight just felt off. Having the contestants sing popular songs (anything from the Billboard Top 10 in the past four years) meant this year’s largely-unspectacular crew was forced into unflattering comparisons and karaoke-esque renditions of songs everybody has heard, which made it hard for them to really rise above the material and prove especially memorable. Judges Harry Connick Jr., Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban had differing opinions on almost every performance throughout the course of the night, at one point getting into a fairly heated argument that ended with Harsh Harry giving one contestant some especially uncompromising feedback.

As for the contestants themselves—well, for some reason, a line from the modern-classic comedy A Knight’s Tale keeps coming to me. “You have been weighed, you have been measured, and you have absolutely, positively been found wanting.” By now, we’ve seen each of the Top 10 performers give solo acts five weeks in a row, and, it’s clear by now, after their performances and the judges’ feedback, each has a strength, but each also has something dire they need to work on. Some need spunk, some need originality, some need to sing in tune, some need to be less cliché—all of them need something. And they need to find it, quick.

MK Nobilette, 20

Song: ‘Perfect’ by Pink

MK avoided the Bottom Three last week after getting back to her crooning ways, but expect her to be right back there after opening the show with a bad karaoke rendition of Pink’s hit. There was some spunk in her starting the performance by singing to her own reflection in a mirror, but, as soon as the song picked up, her voice was lost amidst those of the more talented background singers, not to mention everybody in the crowd singing along. Then, according to the judges, something went off with the band and the whole thing fell like a house of cards. As ever, MK does not have the voice or the energy to carry a big, showstopper hit, and this performance was running on fumes by the halfway point. It was telling when Harry openly doubted whether MK could put on a good full-length show and the crowd didn’t even bother to boo. Grade: C-

Fortune Forecast: Danger, Will Robinson! Last week’s mulligan is likely to be short-lived, as a poor performance, MK’s general lack of life, and the fact that she went first are likely to doom her to, at the very least, one of those three wretched stools the Bottom Three vote-getters are forced to sit on.

Dexter Roberts, 22

Song: “Cruise” by Florida/Georgia Line

Dexter’s a hard contestant to review, because he always picks songs that are right in his wheelhouse and everybody knows, so his performances always have an inherent entertainment factor. That said, I doubt anybody—even his biggest Southern-girl-fan—has been blown away by any of his performances, which reek of the cliché. I liked the fact that Dexter ditched his guitar this week, allowing him to move more easily, but he had a hard time enunciating the words in his thick ol’ accent, and, as the judges pointed out, if he’s going to keep singing songs everybody already knows, he at least has to bring above-average energy, which he didn’t quite do. Like most of his performances, this was nice, but so what?  Grade: B-

Fortune Forecast: I can’t imagine Dexter being in trouble after another performance that fit the Dexter performance bill. His consistent fan base should carry him through yet another week.

Jena Irene, 17

Song: “Clarity” by Zedd and the Foxes

Much was made of the fact that Jena became one of the first Idol contestants to ever sing an Electronic song—so much that everybody in the crowd was given neon glowsticks to wave around in the dim light of the theater while Jena sang. Needless to say, the Electronic genre requires absolute explosive energy, which Idol does not tend to have a lot of. Caleb Johnson might have the requisite showstopper, light-up-the-stage skills for the genre, but Jena didn’t quite. That said, she looked like she had fun, one senses this is exactly her thing, and the judges liked it, so… Grade: B

Fortune Forecast: Hmmm. This wasn’t quite the great follow-up Jena would have liked to have after her knockout Paramore rendition last week. Unfortunately, Jena doesn’t strike me as one of the more popular contestants, so I wouldn’t be shocked by a Bottom Three showing.

Alex Preston, 20

Song: “Story of My Life” by One Direction

He still sang standing the middle of the stage with his guitar and a single spotlight on him, but Alex Preston ditched the heavy-handed awkwardness and most of his weird word pronunciations and gave a pretty fantastic rendition of the Brit boy band’s hit. With all the intangibles less distracting this week, it was easier to recognize Alex’s undeniable passion and sure-enough energy. The judges loved it, and so will Alex’s fans. Grade: A-

Fortune Forecast: Safe. Alex hasn’t been in trouble yet, and he won’t be—again—after a second-straight terrific performance.

Malaya Watson, 16

Song: “When I Was Your Man” by Bruno Mars

I know, I know, the very female Malaya Watson singing Bruno’s “When I Was Your Man” was the tiniest bit distracting, but that gender-bender song choice was easily looked past after another great overall performance from the teen. As the judges noted, she showed her most restraint so far, letting her full voice do the heavy lifting rather than her feet or her nerves, and I agreed with Harry when he said she sang the lyrics exactly as they are meant to be sung. Passion, voice—Malaya really has some amazing talent. Grade: B+

Fortune Forecast: Safe. Having recovered from her early struggles, Malaya may have officially become the most consistent and reliable of the women this year.

Caleb Johnson, 22

Song: “The Edge of Glory” by Lady Gaga

I’m not much of a music critic, so I’m usually easily persuaded by the judges’ comments, but I was positively shocked that all the judges had serious critiques to make of Caleb Johnson’s performance. I called the performance “perfect”: his slowing-down of the uber-uppity, almost techno-pop Gaga hit was just what the doctor ordered for his soulful rocker vibe. Between that soulful, raw musicality and his strong, clear voice, Caleb is probably the only contestant could have done that song any justice. The judges didn’t quite agree, though, knocking the performance for being “slow”, “lumbering” and lacking feeling. Hmmm. Grade: A

Fortune Forecast: Safe. Caleb’s been riding high, and the song is popular enough—and his rendition was good enough—to warrant an easy pass despite an apparent slight step backward (!?!?!).

CJ Harris, 23

Song: “Invisible” by Hunter Hayes

Where Caleb’s heavy, raw musicality suited the high-powered Gaga hit, CJ Harris’ raw rasp was all wrong for Hunter Hayes’ “Invisible”. It sounded weird coming from him, first of all, because a lot of the appeal of that song comes from Hayes’ pristine but uber-vulnerable voice, which sounds perfect for singing about feeling invisible and being imperfect. CJ didn’t quite have that. Again, I’m not the best music critic, but CJ was hammered by all three judges—Harry in particular—for getting out of tune and “singing sharp”. Grade: C+

Fortune Forecast: Tough one. If voting goes like it went last week, where 3 of last week’s legitimately worst performers ended up in the Bottom Three, CJ will be there, but he’s been safe ever since his selection as a Wild Card, so he’s probably okay even with a step down from last week’s impressive, giddy high.

Jessica Meuse, 23

Song: “Pumped Up Kicks” by Foster the People

Pink-haired, nose-pierced drama queen Jessica remains a polarizing figure, as she has a great-sounding raspy voice that suits both country and rock, but her performances usually lack bite and energy. It is perhaps suitable, then, that she chose to sing “Pumped Up Kicks”, a “fun”, uppity song that’s all about the dark idea of outrunning bullets being fired from guns. She mentioned the song’s trippy self-contradiction in her pre-performance comments, but that very idiosyncratic appeal triggered a big-time fuss amongst the judges. Keith appropriately noted it was a bouncy step up from Jessica’s usual sleepy ballads, and JLO thought she did the song’s offbeat-ness justice, but Harry went full-froth in his reaction, dissing Jessica for having a smile on her face while singing such dark lyrics, and hinting that she’s a one-dimensional performer who lacks emotion. He went even further once host Ryan Seacrest tried to sort out the heavily-contradictory judge-panel feedback, by saying “as a singer, you sing lyrics, you need to sing lyrics”, meaning she needs to pay some heed to the words coming out her mouth and base her performance on them, which has to hurt a seasoned performer. In any case, I thought the performance was a legitimate step up from Jessica’s typical number, but I’ve never been a big fan of that song for that exact reason—its dark message is hidden by an addictive arrangement—and Jessica did nothing to change my perception of it. Grade: B-

Fortune Forecast: Safe. The judges squabbled, and Jessica’s feelings were probably hurt, but that song is super popular and Jessica has cruised thus far.

Majesty Rose, 22

Song: “Wake Me Up” by Avicii

Much was made after Majesty found herself just on this side of elimination last week after singing a chart-topping Disney princess ballad, so she returned to her gentler, more acoustic sound this week. It was definitely better, but her performance was perfectly indicative of her curious stage presence—Majesty either sings so low you can barely hear her and lose interest, or she sings loud and really wows you. To me, the good outweighed the bad, especially on this catchy folk number, but the judges disagreed again—this time, Harry really liked it, but Keith thought she compromised some artistic integrity to play it safe, and JLO thought she looked fearful. Grade: B

Fortune Forecast: Now it’s interesting. My instinct tells me safe, but she was second from the door last week, and now she gave a performance JLO and Keith didn’t love. I can’t her imagine her being voted off just yet, but could she see the Bottom Three again?

Sam Woolf, 17

Song: “We Are Young” by fun, featuring Janelle Monae

He went first last week, and paid for it. He went last this time, stepped up his game, and should be promptly rewarded for it. Super-composed, super-refined Sam Woolf gave his best performance since the finals began with “We Are Young”, strumming on his guitar and giving his vocals a little extra umph, which automatically made it the most energetic and likeable thing he’s done in at least a month. Harry still didn’t quite see the light, but it was an encouraging move in the right direction for the unseemly-talented teen. Grade: B

Fortune Forecast: Safe. It’s too early for babe-magnet Sam to be in serious trouble, no matter his Bottom Three appearance last week. This was a lot better, and he closed the show. He’s fine.

What will happen? I keep re-writing this paragraph, because the only thing I feel sure of is that MK will be and should be in the Bottom Three, and she should go home. Dexter’s overdue for a Bottom Three appearance because his nothin-but-country act is already stale, but his fan base has made itself heard time and again. CJ’s been lucky ever since he was selected as a Wild Card to make the Top 13, but he was pretty bad tonight. Jena’s made a Bottom Three appearance before, and we’ve already established singing “fun”, uppity numbers isn’t the way for a dark, moody girl to go—she’s much more convincing belting from the piano bench. And Majesty wasn’t wholly convincing in her attempt at redemption from the Bottom Two. Well, put it this way—I expect the Bottom Three to made up of some combination of these folks. Alex won’t be in the Bottom Three, Sam should be safe, and as Caleb and Malaya are two of my favorites, I don’t want either of them in danger, either. But I think MK’s ready to go.

BITTER FOR BRILEY--AMERICAN IDOL RESULTS

BITTER FOR BRILEY—American Idol Results Recap

Irreverent, Cut-Up Country Boy A Little Too Out There for America

Oh, how the mighty have fallen. An overall terrific week of performances on American Idol meant anyone who was less-than-stellar was in danger, and America promptly did not provide the votes necessary for some-time favorites Sam Woolf, Majesty Rose and Ben Briley to make the Top Ten easily. Other than staying on the show to fight another day, making the Top Ten means being a part of this summer’s likely-to- be-sold-out Idol tour. The unhappy person who just missed that undoubtedly elating experience is 23-year-old Tennessee native Ben Briley.

Ben, who made the Top 15 courtesy of America’s first live vote of the season (he beat the undoubtedly smoother Neco Starr in that last-minute head-to-head), was certainly one of this season’s livelier contestants, but his performances were so raw and over-the-top, it was hard to view them without a certain amount of apprehension. It's true he was one of the few contestants this year who always sang with undeniable passion, and who always gave it his all, but he was just a little too awkward; other than one pretty cool speeded-up Johnny Cash rendition, Ben's rather nasal voice and tendency to start squalling instead of singing often made his performances cringeworthy. While he should be applauded for at least trying something different, his half-Elton John/half-Michael Jackson cover of Elton’s “Bennie and the Jets” Wednesday was pretty awful, and a slam-dunk for the Bottom Three. Though he was safe to this point, his ouster should surprise no one.

Reveling in the glory of an all-time great performance night, Thursday night’s results show was largely a breeze. Judge Harry Connick Jr. performed a medley of two of his hits, crooning the Sinatra-esque “One Fine Thing” before taking to the piano and pounding out the more uppity “Come By Me”. The contestants—who spent much of the past week pretending to audition to play each other—sent up all three judges, mocking Keith Urban’s accent and Guitar God aura, Jennifer Lopez’s high voice, excitable hair whips and use of the word “goosies” (that’s goosebumps, for the uninitiated), and HCJ’s high-falutin’ vocabulary. Then Ryan Seacrest cleared the air for anyone who wondered why a dude would want to go by Molly Music as his stage name—tonight’s welcome-to-the-world guest performer was a find of JLO’s, the intriguing reggae/soul artist Mali Music.

It’s easy to see the outline for these results shows now. Seacrest does the intro, he reminds us who the remaining contestants are, he introduces three or four of them to their fates, there’s a live performance by someone close to Idol’s heart (a previous winner/contestant or a judge), a few more fates are revealed, an unknown spotted by the judges or Dawgfather Randy Jackson gets thousands more Twitter followers after performing on the show, some final fates are dished out, one of the three is sent back to safety, the lowest vote-getter is revealed, and they sing for America while the judges pretend it’s hard to decide to use their One Save of the Season or not. They’ve got these shows down to a science—perhaps too exact of one, come to think of it; call me a glutton for other people’s pain, but I’ve always loved watching the departing contestant get teary-eyed hugs from the relief-and-guilt-ridden others as the show closes, but this year’s results shows usually formally eliminate the contestant at about 9:59:40, which barely gives Seacrest enough time to remind us our local news is next.

It’s entertaining enough, I guess. This week had a little more drama because Seacrest hinted, early on, that tonight’s result would shock some people (except those of us who knew a “shock” was coming). It was a surprise to see former front-runner Majesty in the Bottom Three; her up-and-down rendition of the Frozen showstopper “Let It Go” was not among last night’s best, but her jeopardy meant less-talented players like crooner MK Nobilette and country boy Dexter Roberts breathed freely all night. I wasn’t surprised to see Sam, another early front-runner, in the Bottom Three, either. Sam opened last night’s show with a forgettable performance—a performance that was revealed to be worse than I had previously thought when they did the obligatory recap of last night’s go-round. Sam’s a better singer, and probably has a better has more upside, than Ben, but I would still rather have heard Ben one more time. Oh well.

**Unless I missed something, Seacrest forgot to say what next week’s performance theme will be. And I can’t help wondering if they ought to get a tad more specific with these themes, because anyone who thinks Elton’s “Bennie and the Jets” or The Beatles’ “Come Together” are bonafide “Songs from the Cinema” is a moron.

***The judges’ save is a tricky thing. I thought it was a great idea back when it was first introduced, as it could have saved clearly-talented people like Constantine Maroulis and Jennifer Hudson from being voted off, in their seasons, in sixth and seventh place, and given them chances to go further with a re-energized fan base. However, one of these days when the judges save somebody and no one actually gets eliminated, it’s really going to suck, because this is a clearly a year in which the field needs to be trimmed a lot more for a real, true front-runner (or front-runners) to emerge.

Anyway, this week’s power rankings (which have been shuffled a bit after an eye-opening week):

1. Caleb Johnson-Caleb’s still sitting at the top after giving the judges what they wanted—something different—and doing it with style: singing a James Bond theme by Adele. He might be the year’s best pure musical talent, as well. I still think a few of the others could develop more of a Must-Watch X-Factor than Caleb has, but he’s been safe as can be.
2. Dexter Roberts-I’m not putting Dexter here because I want to, necessarily, but because he can clearly do no wrong. His job is pretty simple: do a half-decent rendition of something country that looks and sounds natural coming from him, and his performance practically votes for itself. The judges are waiting for something new, but country has taken people far on this show before.
3. Alex Preston-He’s still weird, but Alex showed this week just how good he can be with the right song. He could use a little more diversity to his performances, too, but he’s been raking in votes.
4. CJ Harris-From pleasant cover artist to bonafide contender? According to the judges, yes. CJ finally earned safe passage after a few merely passable performances, and, with Ben’s ouster and Sam’s struggles, happily moved off the bottom of the guys’ totem pole. He just needs a strong follow-up to persuade the skeptics.
5. Jena Irene-If she didn’t already know her place, she does now. The 17-year-old’s recipe for success = Sit at the piano and belt it out. Her Paramore cover was superb, and exactly what everyone’s picturing from a girl who dresses in dark, moody colors and has a natural rasp.
6. Malaya Watson-She let her tremendous voice do the talking/singing this week, rather than her nerves, her body language, or her braces. The judges think she needs time to grow, but there’s no time like the present, and if she can put soul and voice together again like she did this week, she could look more and more like a power player.
7. Majesty Rose-Quite a fall from grace for a girl who was #1 on my rankings two weeks ago. Majesty went with a song she loves and thinks could have been written for her, only to barely avoid being eliminated for singing it. She’s too talented to get bumped this early, but after a few subpar performances in a row, she’s not quite the sure thing some thought.
8. Jessica Meuse-She hasn’t sniffed danger yet, but, despite a fine-sounding country-rock voice, Jessica doesn’t BRING IT like a seasoned performer should. The judges tend to nitpick her performances; as good as she can sound, there’s a deadness to her eyes, and a lack of energy to her performances, that starts to creep in as her gravelly numbers proceed. Might wanna try something a little livelier.
9. Sam Woolf-Bland is not beautiful. Babe magnet Sam came dangerously close to ending the Cinderella story for girls everywhere, and with reason—he’s boring. Again, the tone of his voice is above reproach, but his performances are wooden and need serious life.
10. MK Nobilette-MK got a happy mulligan this week, but for how much longer? Crooning is clearly her thing, and lucky for her, she’ll be on the tour, but I’m wondering how much she has that she hasn’t already shown us. She and Sam are largely in the same You Need To Show Me Something boat.

Tune in next week!

THERE'S NO BIZ LIKE SHOW BIZ--AMERICAN IDOL REVIEW

THERE’S NO BIZ LIKE SHOW BIZ—American Idol Review

Soundtrack-Centric Theme Livens Up Top 11 Contestants on Strong Overall Night

Yeah, yeah, we know: American Idol needed this. After a train wreck of a Top 12 performance week in which almost none of the contestants were even above average, the show resuscitated itself by asking the contestants to sing “Songs from the Cinema”. With the 11 remaining contestants singing songs “written directly for a movie, or heavily featured in one”, Idol went all out, providing old-fashioned movie-house marquee backdrops and clever visual puns for aesthetic entertainment, and even giving the contestants the chance to impersonate one another. The actual musical performances weren’t bad, either. Urged last week by judges Harry Connick Jr., Jennifer Lopez and Keith Urban to bring their A-game and really WOW America, most of the contestants picked songs ideally suited to their musical whims, leading to an assembly line of uncommonly inspired performances. The judges raved, host Ryan Seacrest was in an even better mood than usual, and the finalists on the 13^th season of American Idol went from the group that couldn’t impress the judges to, in Harry’s words, maybe the "most diverse, quality group the show’s ever seen".

**In keeping with the Hollywoodized theme, right before each contestant performed, clips were shown of the other 10 finalists pretending to audition to play that person. It was an ingenious way to inject attitude and humor into the show, as the contestants broke out wigs, accents, musical instruments, fake braces, and even some slightly crass mimicry. This free-for-all gag especially gave more reserved performers like Sam Woolf, Alex Preston and MK Nobilette the chance to show some more color and personality. This ongoing gag (which NEEDS to be used every year) proved almost as entertaining as the performances themselves.**

The performers?

Sam Woolf, 17

-To “play” Sam, the other contestants donned his city-boy hats and talked incessantly about being a constant object of female worship

-He has the looks, he has the adoring fan base, and he has a solid voice, but does Sam actually have any flavor to his performances? He tried to bring some by singing The Beatles’ “Come Together”, circa the 2006 musical Across the Universe. It sort of worked. By necessity, it was a livelier vocal than some of his past performances, and he avoided remaining rooted in a single spot, but there’s a sameness to Sam’s voice and face that can’t be hidden even by a more upbeat number (a really plain karaoke number, at that), and no amount of stiffly touching hands with girls in the crowd can compensate for real energy. The judges said they could tell he was trying, and I could, too, but he’s got ways to go before anyone will say he’s actually an exciting performer. Grade: B-

Fortune Forecast: Hmmm. My knee-jerk reaction says safe, because he’s Sam Woolf, and he hasn’t sniffed danger yet. But this was one of the more lackluster performances on the night, and it was first. I wouldn’t bet on Bottom Three candidacy, but it wouldn’t shock me.

Jessica Meuse, 23

-The contestants sent up Jessica by playing on the name of her hometown (Slapout, Alabama), and wearing pink hair extensions. Quipped Alex Preston while in Jessica Mode: “I was born with pink hair. I actually dyed the rest of my hair to be normal and fit in.”

-Singing “The Sound of Silence”, a Simon & Garfunkel tune from 1967’s The Graduate, this year’s pink-haired, country/rock girl hit her sweet spot with a tune was part rock/part country/part rasp. In other words: It was almost perfect for her. On some nights, it could have been a standout, but, on this night, it proved merely a harbinger of good things to come. The judges thought something was off with the band, but there was no hint of the criticism Jessica endured last week. Grade: B+

Fortune Forecast: Safe. Jessica has cruised so far, and this was one of her most comfortable and natural performances.

CJ Harris, 23

-To impersonate CJ, the Top 11 contestants tried on hats, guitars, accents and dropped southern gentleman lines to try and capture his low-key, down home appeal.

-Ryan Seacrest said CJ was picking a song from a Johnny Depp movie, but does anybody really remember Blow, the drug-centric film Depp made a few years before his Pirates of the Caribbean renaissance? They might now, after CJ plucked a growly bit of southern soul called “Can’t You See” from its soundtrack and turned in what was easily his best performance yet on the show.  CJ sang with force and conviction, showing his rock, soul and country sides but especially playing up the rock for a more dramatic, memorable impression than he usually gives. The judges were enraptured. Grade: A

Fortune Forecast: Safe. “I think you just picked and sang your way back to the forefront of this competition”, Harry said. CJ’s been safe the last few weeks based on a lot less.

Dexter Roberts, 22

-Dawgs, puppies, tractors, bein’ from the south—their mouths twisted in various regional accents, the other contestants hit repeatedly on Dexter’s primary trait, his Southerness. In an absurd of hilarious/creative imagery, Caleb Johnson quipped: “I always wear hats because I don’t have a top to my skull.”

-Sweet Home Alabama, ever heard of that? It was a Reese Witherspoon movie, true, but Dexter apparently knows it more as one of the many songs featured in Forrest Gump. The Skynyrd classic was obviously right in the country boy’s wheelhouse, but he did enough with his heavily-accented diction and familiarity with the song to make sure it wasn’t an exact replica. The audience loved it, of course, but the judges said what they’ve been saying to Dexter week after week—how’s he going to really stand out? Grade: B

Fortune Forecast: Safe. Dexter’s stumbled performance-wise, but his fan base has remained strong and active. He hasn’t tasted the Bottom Three yet, and he won’t again after doing justice to an all-time classic.

Ben Briley, 24

-One of the more talkative and quirky contestants, Ben was obviously an easy one to parody. The other contestants were happy to imitate his accent, don his hats, try to copy his twisted facial expressions, and to rhapsodize about the perks of a loving wife, Tennessee, and deviled eggs. “Deviled eggs are like Southern sushi,” said MK Nobilette, while Sam Woolf quipped “I love my wife, and I love Tennessee. My wife is in Tennessee, so it’s like a double awesome.”

-As one of the show’s more colorful contestants, Ben’s been fun to watch these last few weeks while most of the performers have been middling. However, on an overall strong night, Ben took a step backward with his rendition of Elton John’s “Bennie and the Jets”, which was used as drunken karaoke fodder in 27 Dresses. Wearing a shnazzy green and gray suit, with his hair slicked, Ben sat at the piano and crooned like Elton, then, halfway through, got up and started trying to belt out falsetto like Michael Jackson. The first half of his performance was better than the second half. He has a legitimately good voice when he’s not screaming, shouting or slurring, but the falsetto got a little weak. The judges didn’t love the performance, but the thing they harped on about was that he’s shown such a wide variety of sounds and styles that they’re not sure who he really is. Grade: C+

Fortune Forecast: Bottom Three. Ben’s been safe all the way thus far, so I wouldn’t be surprised if he’s safe, but this was arguably the night’s least interesting and least memorable performance, and Ben’s blandest so far.

Majesty Rose, 22

-Wearing scarves and hats and flowers (Lots and lots of flowers), the Top 11 did their best to look and sound like sweet lil things, just like Majesty. Ben Briley offered a bit of ‘backstory’ to her whopper of a name: “My name is Majesty, because the doctor who delivered me thought he was back in medieval times, and he said ‘your Majesty’!”

-Judge Harry called it "a song the whole world is singing". Majesty’s decision to sing “Let it Go” from Frozen, Idina Menzel’s power-packing, Oscar-winning, chart-topping hit, took guts. It's an amazing song everyone was glad to hear one more time, sure. That said, just last week, I was listening to the song and proclaimed no one on Idol this year could do it justice. But, I did also think that, of anyone, Majesty might have the chutzpah to make something out of it. She tried. No one will confuse Majesty with Idina Menzel, but Majesty really does have an above-average voice and considerable stage presence and energy--she could sing a real powerhouse number if she tried. Here, she appeared to try about halfway, going for a few big notes but softening others or going falsetto, leading to an uneven performance that read like a lack of total confidence.  It wasn’t horrible, but, it could’ve been a lot more impressive. Grade: B-

Fortune Forecast: Safe. Think people have heard of the song she picked? The judges were mostly pleasant in their remarks, and it’s Majesty. She’s fine.

Caleb Johnson, 22

-“Rock is the universal language. It should be, at least,” Majesty said, pretending to be Caleb. The contestants donned scraggly wigs, wrestled with mic stands and did their best screeching/falling-down rock concert routines. Added Jessica: “If Jack Black and Meatloaf had a baby, it would be Caleb.”

-For the first time, Resident Rocker Dude Caleb Johnson softened up his live-wire act as he crooned the opening bars of Adele’s Oscar-winner “Skyfall”, from the James Bond movie of the same name. Whatever else his lively, screamy performances have shown, Caleb has a legitimately strong, clear voice, and his more measured opening notes were sensational. He got into his yelling/howling act for the last few bars, which threatened to put a damper on what he’d created, but it was solid overall, and the judges raved.  Grade: A-

Fortune Forecast: Safe. Caleb’s been cruising, and he’s been consistent. No problems here.

MK Nobilette, 20

-If they were MK, the Top 11 contestants decided they would wear a lot of hats, and do a lot of chillin’. Quoted Alex Preston: “I chill. All day I chill. I chill 24/7, 25/7--I would invent an extra hour of the day just to chill.”

-After a few weeks spent trying to sing showstoppers that she just can't, MK returned to her crooning ways, singing “To Make You Feel My Love” from Hope Floats with conviction. There’s still an obvious disconnect, where she gets a little bored, and her performances get a little sleepy, but her voice is absolutely lovely. The judges said they could see her becoming a star based on this performance. Grade: B

Fortune Forecast: On the edge. Despite her inherent likeability and generally strong feedback from the judges, MK’s been in the Bottom Three two weeks in a row. This was the best she’s sung since the Top 15 Girls round, but was it the slam dunk she needed to stick around after barely surviving the last round?

Alex Preston, 20

-Music, music, music. All anyone needs to be Alex is a guitar, so the contestants modeled guitars and raved about music; CJ even broke out a cool double guitar just to drive the point home.

-Singing the night’s third Oscar winner, earnest, offbeat, dysfunctional Alex picked the perfect song for his unique style in “Falling Slowly”, from the indie Once. This cover was the perfect storm of all Alex’s best traits—subtlety, quiet strength, simmering passion, and a gentle, up and down, acoustic style—and his best performance on the show so far. Grade: A

Fortune Forecast: Safe. He hasn’t been in trouble yet, and I don’t expect him to be after that.

Jena Irene, 17

-It sounds like GINA, not Jenna! Some of the contestants adopted an exaggeratedly whiny voice to try and play Jena, but most just carried on and on about her constantly-mispronounced first name.

-Like Alex, Jena sang a song that was exactly what I picture her going on to sing, picking altRock Paramore’s “Decode”, from Twilight. She sat at the piano, she crooned, she belted, and she bellowed—all her best performance traits were rolled into what Jennifer Lopez called “the best performance of the night”. Grade: A

Fortune Forecast: Probably safe. Jena was in the Bottom Three last week, and one senses she’s not nearly among the frontrunners this year, but this was as good as she’s sounded.

Malaya Watson, 16

-I don’t know where they found fake braces, but, to capture the essence of Malaya, her fellow contestants found some, and they giggled, they snorted, they had the nonstop-energy jitters, and they even tried their hand at a certain brass instrument. “Where is my tuba?” Majesty crowed. “Where is that thing? I miss that thing!”
-Malaya brought a strong night to a rousing crescendo as the third-straight performer to, in my opinion, sing the perfect song, and to do it well. Her cover of Jennifer Hudson’s “I Am Changing”, from Dreamgirls, cancelled out all the weirdness and over-the-top voltage of her uneven previous performances—this was a soulful, confident, full-hearted R&B singer with a great pair of pipes, nearly in perfect control of her sound. She’s got incredible talent for a teen, and this performance made her seem like a real, strong, mature woman. It’s a tight race, but I might call this the best performance of the night. Grade: A

Fortune Forecast: Safe. She was safe last week, and, after blowing away the judges, she should be safe again.

Ahhhh, this could shake things up. From a night where no one stood out to a night where half the field gave their best performances to date, it's anybody's guess what Thursday night's results will look like. Harry called this a much-needed "sigh of relief" for the contestants, the viewers, and the show itself, and I'll be darned if it wasn't good enough that I would've watched another episode right away.

What will the results look like, though? The night's weakest, least memorable performances, in my opinion, came from Sam, Ben and Dexter, who've so far combined for a total of 0 Bottom Three appearances. MK just barely survived last week when Emily was eliminated, and she's been in the Bottom Three two weeks in a row, so she appears the incumbent to head home, one spot shy of this summer's Top 10 Tour. She was better this week, but... If I had to eliminate a contestant at this point, it would be MK or Sam, who have a lot of the same problems--nice-sounding voice, but lack of energy and explosiveness (and at least MK is more memorable than Sam). My dream Bottom Three this week would be MK, Sam and Ben, with one of the first two going home, but I can't quite picture that happening. So, this will probably be a queasy week for someone who doesn't deserve it...perhaps Jena or CJ or Caleb.

300: RISE OF AN EMPIRE

300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

Grade: B

Starring: Sullivan Stapleton, Eva Green, Lena Headley and Rodrigo Santoro

Premise: Under threat of conquest by a massive Persian invasion force, Athenian military commander Themistokles tries to rally his countrymen in the fight against icy Persian naval commander Artemisia.

Rated R for strong, bloody violence and gore, nudity, sexuality and some language

         -   THIS. IS. SPARTAAAAA!!!!

         -   Our arrows will blot out the sun.        Then we will fight in the shade.

         -   You, what is your profession?

         -   Tonight, we dine in Hell!

         -   This will not be over quickly; you will not enjoy this.

         -   GIVE THANKS, MEN! TO LEONIDAS AND THE BRAVE THREE HUNDRED!! TO VICTORY!!!!!!

            It’s been eight full years, but some of the images, moments, and sounds are as fresh today as they ever were. Upon its release in March 2006, 300 became a Must-See movie, with addicting sound bytes, hyper-kinetic visuals and spectacular gory details that grabbed enough of the contemporary film-going imagination to allow writer/director Zack Snyder’s movie to become one of the Holy Trinity of modern swords-and-sandals epics, alongside Oscar-winners Gladiator and Braveheart.

            I didn’t see the entire movie until some four years after it came out, and, even thought I recently bought it on DVD, I wouldn’t dare to claim it’s anything close to Gladiator or Braveheart. That said, some of its best moments do have a must-see-and-enjoy zesty bite to them, whether that’s the sight of a marching Spartan army pushing a lesser army right off a cliff or a buffed-up Gerard Butler kicking a Persian messenger down a well (not to mention, of course, Lord of the Rings vet David Wenham’s awesome closing speech). Having just walked out of its somewhat unlikely sequel, 300: Rise of an Empire, I’ll say this: the new film doesn’t quite have the punch of its predecessor at its best, whether that’s because the visuals aren’t as groundbreaking or the performances aren’t nearly as outsize, but it’s a better movie overall. Some of the ickier, more time-wasting types of details that stuffed the original (the slutty oracle, the nipple-tweaking ephors, the amputee orgy) have been cut, the depth of the film has been enhanced with some intriguing back-stories, and we get not one but two engaging new characters. Based on another Frank Miller graphic novel (“Xerxes”), and written by two of the original’s three screenwriters (Snyder and Kurt Johnstad), Rise of an Empire actually came close to winning my full-hearted admiration. It should easily retain fans of the first 300, and it’s certainly capable enough to gain some new ones.

 Plot

Almost half of Rise of an Empire actually deals with things that happened before Leonidas and a certain number of his fellow Spartans ever went marching off to Thermopylae. About ten years before that invasion, the Persians tried to invade Greece but were stopped almost right away, when a massive Greek army led by Themistokles of Athens (Sullivan Stapleton) assaulted them just as they were landing their ships at Marathon. Such was the destruction and disorientation of the Persians that Themistokles was able to fire an arrow at their command ship, hitting Persian emperor Darius (Igal Naor) in the chest. The Persians retreated, and Darius died shortly after, passing the empire into the hands of his handsome but untested son, Xerxes (Rodrigo Santoro). While Themistokles was being declared a Greek hero for all time, the brooding young Persian emperor began getting instructions from fierce, slinky warrior Artemisia (Eva Green, typically great), who had been his late father’s most trusted advisor. Soon, his ears full of Artemisia’s assertions that he’s an immortal god, and his face and body transformed by a variety of pagan rituals, Xerxes decides it’s time for another surge across the Agean Sea to attack Greece.

When word of another impending invasion reaches Greeks’ ears, all eyes immediately turn to living legend Themistokles, who’s been trying to live out his days in peace. A skilled commander on land and sea, Themistokles readies his navy, but he also seeks to rally support among neighboring Greek city states. Unfortunately, as informed by the absent Leonidas’ widow-to-be, Queen Gorgo (Game of Thrones’ Lena Headley), Sparta won’t be marching off to fight any time soon at the orders of an Athenian. Themistokles is a skilled-enough tactician that he’s able to beat the Persians in a few early naval battles, even with a smaller force, but these disappointments only make the conflict personal to Artemisia, a truly gifted warrior. With her men shaken and her emperor doubting her abilities, she decides to bring the full weight of the massive Persian navy down on Themistokles and force him to flat-out beat her, if he can.

What Works?

Surprisingly, a lot. I’m not going to claim that Miller, Snyder and Johnstad have their ancient Greek history exactly right, but hearing about the build-up to the invasion that led the Spartans to head off to Thermopylae is interesting, as is learning how Xerxes went from a normal-looking dude to the bejeweled, golden-hued figure he is in the movies’ marketing campaign. The visuals in this sequel are, again, fantastic, with only a noticeable over-reliance on video-game-quality blood splatters taking points off some really invigorating early battles, which actually involve timing and strategy in addition to swinging swords and thrusting spears.

The movie’s obviously more interested in action and style than character, but Rise of an Empire has a serviceable supporting cast. Rodrigo’s been given a smaller role (and his deep, booming voice doesn’t sound nearly as ridiculous), but Headley’s welcome in her mostly stone-faced return (this is no judgment on her abilities, though; her supporting part in the original 300 was a mere appetizer, and a springboard to her now-trademark role as the dark-hearted Queen Cersei on HBO’s Game of Thrones). Fellow 300 vets David Wenham (as Spartan soldier Dilios), Andrew McTiernan (as treacherous hunchback Ephialtes), and Andrew Pleavin (as Daxos, a military lead from another Greek city state) poke their heads briefly into the action, and, though it’s easy to miss Gerard Butler, Michael Fassbender and Vincent Regan, we get some decent-enough rapport from a father/son warrior team played by Callan Mulvey and Jack O’Connell.

All eyes, though, are on the two major players, Leonidas-substitute Themistokles, played by relative unknown Sullivan Stapleton, and badass girl Artemisia, played by the indomitable Eva Green. Stapleton doesn’t nearly have Butler’s undeniable magneticism, even if he gets to make the same kind of fatalistic rallying speeches (“We choose to die on our feet, rather than live on our knees!” is the new "tonight, we dine in hell"). He’s solid, though, and—as perhaps the only character who’s not driven by bloodlust, vengeance, pride, wrath or some other relatively distasteful emotion—he gives us a reliable center to watch. Green steals the show, though, and she does it with ease. The French beauty has been turning heads since her breakthrough in Bernardo Burtollucci’s The Dreamers, and has built up a low-key but impressive filmography as the sexy outsider in Kingdom of Heaven, Casino Royale and Dark Shadows. There’s nothing low-key about her slithering, fierce-eyed performance here, as she kills man after man with dismaying ease, and, in a bit of feminine wile that would test any man’s will, attempts to seduce an enemy to join her cause at one pivotal moment. This scene--Let's just say, if there’s any man in the audience who can watch this particular scene and easily dismiss the sultry, green-eyed, fair-skinned Green’s appeal…well, he’s made of tougher stuff than the rest of us. She makes this particular onscreen individual pay for it, though, hitting him later with a superbly-debilitating put-down that ought to be quoted by spurned women against their exes for some time.

What Doesn’t Work?

On first thought, I can’t name much about Rise of an Empire that doesn’t work, but maybe that’s only because the movie actually doesn’t try all that much. It’s all strategy, battle, or Eva Green chewing scenery. I will say that it’s awkward for the film to start before the Spartan slaughter at Thermopylae and take so long to catch up to it, when this is, in fact, a sequel. There’s also no denying that, if Snyder and Co would jettison the slowed-down-for-awesomeness effect technique they’re fond of using during fight scenes, the movie could be about 20 minutes shorter, and that much more watchable.

Content

As was true of the original, not much has been censored. There’s a lot (a lot, A LOT) of blood and dismemberment shown on the battlefield, and, whenever possible, female nudity. A particularly-intimate non-battle sequence is also shown in particularly intimate fashion—sensitive audience members are unlikely to enjoy a graphic sex scene, let alone one that's less about passion and intimacy than it is about domination and control.

The Bottom Line

I was surprised by how much I liked 300: Rise of an Empire. It’s not perfect, and it probably won’t make funs of anyone who didn’t like the original 300, but with some huge, epic battles and some interesting characters (and the scorching hot Eva Green), it’s pretty darn entertaining.

300: Rise of an Empire (2014)

Directed by Noam Murro

Written for the Screen by Zack Snyder and Kurt Johnstad

Based on the Graphic Novel “Xerxes” by Frank Miller

Rated R

Length: 102 minutes