DARK SHADOWS

Dark Shadows (2012)
Grade: B-
Directed by TIM BURTON
Starring: Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer, Eva Green, Bella Heathcote, Helena Bonham Carter, Jackie Earle Haley, Chloe Grace Moretz, Johnny Lee Miller, Gulliver McGrath, and Christopher Lee
PREMISE: A vampire freed from imprisonment after 200 years must protect his distant relatives from a vengeful witch.

RATED PG-13 for violence and blood, strong sexual content, language, scary moments, and some drug use

I seriously wonder how it works. Does Johnny Depp find a script that intrigues him, call up his buddy Tim Burton, and ask if he'd like to put his own spin on it, or does Burton get a script or a story idea and decide he can't/won't/would rather not do it without his favorite star? It seems like every movie either icon makes features the services of the other. Since Depp became a truly hot item in Hollywood (after the mega-successful Pirates of the Caribbean series), all of his big non-Pirates films have come via the gothic horror/whimsy extraordinaire--2005's Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, 2007's Sweeney Todd, 2010's Alice in Wonderland, and now this, Dark Shadows, a 21st century movie adaptation of a classic '60s/'70s TV show that combined elements of horror with those of a sitcom. In the tradition of Burton/Depp's first, and arguably best, collaboration, 1990's Edward Scissorhands, Shadows features an outcast with unique abilities/traits (in this case, he's a vampire) attempting to blend in with an ordinary family in a modern society.  The result, as usual with Burton/Depp films, is a product that is not without a certain cheese factor, but is also by turns funny, creepy, clever, and feverishly entertaining.

Plot: In 1972, a crew of construction workers digging the foundations of a new site in rural Maine discovers an iron casket that's been chained and padlocked shut. When they cut the chains and open the casket, it unleashes an ancient evil: Barnabas Collins (Depp) was a first generation immigrant nobleman who became a vampire after the maid he spurned (a fabulously-seductive Eva Green) cursed him for withholding his love. He was imprisoned in 1752, but Barnabas remembers that the town of Collinsport was named for his family, and that there is an enormous old house that still belongs to him.

Of course, it now belongs to his descendants. The matriarch is Elizabeth (Michelle Pfeiffer), who lives there with her daughter (Chloe Grace Moretz), her brother (Johnny Lee Miller), his son (Gulliver McGrath), and a psychiatrist (frequent Burton/Depp collaborator Helena Bonham Carter) who was hired to cure the little boy, David, of his psychological 'abnormalities', like claiming to see ghosts. There is another person on the premises as well, whom Barnabas takes an immediate interest in once he arrives and convinces the family he really is a long-lost descendant: Victoria Winters (Bella Heathcote), a just-arrived nanny for David who is also a dead-ringer for the woman he chose over the witch. Oh, and that witch is still around, having taken it upon herself to rule the town of Collinsport, render the Collins family fishing business moot, and do whatever she can to stamp out every trace of their existence.

In short order, the family seems to revolve around Barnabas, as Elizabeth adores his ability to uncover valuable jewels in hidden corners of the estate, Victoria is enchanted by his sophisticated ways, the doctor is curious about his physical abnormalities, the little boy is intrigued by his strangeness, and the witch wants him...either dead or in her arms.

What Works?
Okay, so, we've all seen Johnny Depp play abnormally spunky/quirky characters before. In fact, ever since he hit it big playing the spunkiest and quirkiest character of them all (ever heard of Captain Jack Sparrow?), that's about all he does. Thankfully, despite another accent, quirky mannerisms and the typical Depp weirdness, Barnabas doesn't come off like a Jack Sparrow Lite. It's another solid, genuinely-engaging performance from a star who defines the phrase Character Actor.

Depp doesn't even give the film's most riveting performance, though. That honor belongs, without question, to Eva Green (best known for her role as James Bond's one true love in Casino Royale). With her platinum blonde locks, blinding smile and shapely figure, she's absolutely scorching; she'd make an impression even if she didn't chew the scenery like she does, with her alpha female bravado and razor-sharp line readings. In fact, men in the theater will squirm their way through many of her scenes, with her combination of enchanting nastiness and undeniable sexuality a sight to behold.

Elsewhere, Pfeiffer gives an engaging turn as a different sort of alpha female, the soundtrack is upbeat and joyous and much of the film is engaging--Burton has never lacked as a showman. The lines are funny, the images are bright and colorful, and many of the scary scenes are legitimately engrossing. Despite being undeniably cheesy, Shadows never drags.

What Doesn't Work?
Unfortunately, like a lot of fish-out-of-water-type movies, once the weird-character-in-the-normal-place central idea is established, there's not a lot of places for the film to go. The final act's battle royale is too long, too silly, and almost reaches sensory overload levels, as Burton heaves in a number of curveballs that strain credulity. And, regrettably, most of the cast isn't given that much to do. Bonham Carter, appearing in another Burton film, is essentially treading water. Moretz (one of my personal favorites) is stuck with the bland, surly teenager stereotype. Lee Miller is given nothing to do but make suggestive comments, and Heathcote, after a promising introduction, becomes little more than an occasionally-talking prop once the Depp and Green characters take over the film. I'm not sure what else they could have done with Dark Shadows, but it's a pretty package with an okay-what's-next inside.

Content:
Parents of young children will be alarmed at at least one scene-maybe more-of non-graphic but blatantly-obvious sexuality. There's also the requisite sudden changes in tone when a mostly-humorous protagonist suddenly kills people, even if it's mostly done offscreen. As will happen in any vampire movie not called Twilight, there is a lot of blood, several scary images, and a lot of violence. Kids under 13 should probably keep their distance.

Bottom Line (I Promise):
Burton and Depp have never made a bad film, and they still haven't after Dark Shadows. Cliche as it is, the fish-out-of-water scenario makes for a fun ride, especially when done by a director and star with a flair for both the dramatic and the whimsical. It's funny, it's engaging, it's creepy, but it's nothing you haven't seen before.

Dark Shadows (2012)
Directed by Tim Burton
Written by Seth Grahame-Smith and John August; based on the TV series created by Dan Curtis
Rated PG-13
Length: 113 minutes