VARSITY BLUES and MAJOR LEAGUE

Major. Blues.  –A Dual Review

Dated Sports Ensemble Flicks Provide Nostalgia, Heart, and Humor (Intentional and, uh, Unintentional)

Varsity Blues (1999)

Starring: James Van Der Beek, Jon Voight, Ron Lester, Paul Walker, Thomas F. Duffy, Scott Caan, Amy Smart and Ali Larter

Rated R for language (including graphic sexual references), strong sexual content including graphic nudity, and depictions of alcohol abuse

Nine days ago, while most people were watching Auburn stun undefeated, number 1 Alabama with the unforgettable finish to the Iron Bowl, a news tidbit hit the web that brought a lot of people pause: Paul Walker had died. Walker, best known for his recurring role in the blockbuster Fast and Furious franchise, was 40 when he was killed, along with his friend Roger Rodas, in a car crash in Santa Clarita, California. Walker wasn’t a particularly decorated actor in the way of awards, but his prominent role in the six-film street-racing franchise—plus his appearances in films as varied as teen romcom She’s All That, melodrama Pleastantville, and real-life war drama Flags of Our Fathers—made him someone almost everyone has seen. His death has cast speculation over the future of the ongoing F&F series (which was halfway through filming its seventh installment), and brought forth an outpouring of love and affection for the actor and his work across three decades.

One film I remembered Walker in was the high school football dramedy Varsity Blues, a film I saw on TV years back. I remembered seeing him play the star quarterback of a high school football team, whose untimely injury opened the door for a perpetual second-stringer (James Van Der Beek, of Dawson’s Creek) to strut his stuff on the gridiron. When I looked up the film, I discovered it featured a whole host of then-unknowns I’d seen in multiple other movies since, so I decided to re-watch it.

Walker didn’t have a very large role in Varsity Blues, which, happily, keeps his memory from being tarnished. Blues, an MTV production, is not a terrible movie but a horribly-misguided one. It has the bare bones and basic ideas of a decent story, but its outlandish portrayal of high school life and its unbelievably-caricatured depictions of supporting characters made it a grating movie to watch.

The main character is Van Der Beek’s Jonathan “Mox” Moxon, a high school senior in West Canaan, Texas, one of those little Midwest towns where, every Friday night, time stops and eyes turn to the bright lights of the high school football gridiron. Though he’s been friends with the team’s best players all his life, Mox is a benchwarmer, receiving none of the accolades showered on star quarterback Lance Harbor (Walker, just fine in a straight role) and legendary coach Bud Kilmer (a scenery-chewing Jon Voight). But when Lance is horribly injured during a big game late in the season, Mox becomes the man, an idol to the townspeople and leader, on and off the field, to his buddies Billy Bob (Ron Lester), Tweeder (Scott Caan), and Wendell (Eliel Swinton). Mox’s newfound fame brings him affection and praise from his no-nonsense father (Thomas F. Duffy), creates separation between him and his down-to-earth girlfriend (Amy Smart), and brings him, for the first time, nose-to-nose to the unpleasant Kilmer, a win-at-all costs fanatic driven by his own growing legend.

See? That doesn’t sound so bad! How could they mess that up? The main way they do it is with cheap characterizations: the rotund Billy Bob is the goony fat kid, stuffing his face, raising a pet pig named Bacon, and prone to crying at the slightest provocation (Lester is nails-on-the-chalkboard annoying in the role); Caan’s star wide receiver Tweeter is an equally-irritating hillbilly redneck who thinks of/talks about nothing but sex and drinking; Swinton’s star running back Wendell is the token black kid, who is a great athlete with a chip on his shoulder because the prejudiced coach doesn’t give him the ball. And that’s not to mention the star quarterback’s cheerleader girlfriend, played by a she-should-be-embarrassed Ali Larter as, essentially, a manipulative whore with supposedly good intentions (her famous whipped-cream bikini is kinda neat-looking, though). And way too much time is given to an insipid subplot in which Mox’s kid brother (Joe Pichler) is obsessed with trying different religions.

The football action is cliché, the emotion is cheap, and there are some laughs to be had, but most of them are at the movie’s expense. Yeah, it’s kinda cool to look back and see all these famous faces so early in their careers, though, to be honest, most of them are less well-known now than they were at the time—which the exception of Oscar-winner Voight, who makes the controlling coach a detestable villain, the late Walker has proven to be by far the most successful. Van Der Beek—who’s decent as Mox—hasn’t done anything of note besides this and Dawson's Creek; Caan, Lester and Larter are all stuck on TV, and Amy Smart is trying hard to build off her appearances in moderately-successful films like The Butterfly Effect and Crank.

Ultimately, this for-high-schoolers movie has largely been done—better—other times, so you should save your time. Walker’s only in a handful of scenes, with about a dozen lines. If you want to reminisce about his work and honor his memory, I could recommend several other movies instead.

Grade: C-

Major League (1989)

Starring: Tom Berenger, Charlie Sheen, Corbin Bensen, Bob Uecker, Margaret Whitton, James Gannon, Rene Russo, Wesley Snipes and Dennis Haysbert

Rated R for language and some sexual content

Oh, the irony. I went out looking for Varsity Blues, which turned out to be a pretty crappy movie, and the movie I got in tandem in the twofer combo pack, Major League, turned out to be pretty great. Also ironic: this smart-aleck comedy also features a bunch of famous faces, who, while no longer at their peaks, have all accomplished a good deal more than the glowing-with-youth cast of Varsity Blues.

Baseball movies have been in vogue lately, with Oscar-nominee Moneyball and box-office hit 42 making headlines in the last few years, but Major League is better than both those films in several key ways: it’s fictional, so they can do whatever they want without just following the boring script of history, this movie actually cares about the sport of baseball, not the just the business/politics surrounding it, and it actually cares about the players on the field. Also, the humor is wry rather than splattered all over the screen (as in Blues), and the characters and emotion are better-written and more subtle. It is a barrel of laughs, though.

In Major League, the owner of the long-suffering Cleveland Indians franchise has just died, leaving ownership of the team to his rich, selfish widow (Margaret Whitton). The new owner doesn’t care at all for Cleveland, and merely wants the team to stink, to be so bad and uninspiring that revenue drops enough to allow a move to Miami and its tropical climate. She’s so committed to sinking the ship that she wants nothing but rejects as the major players—a hangdog minor league coach (James Gannon) as the manager, a creaky, over-the-hill veteran (Tom Berenger) as the catcher, an ex-con (Charlie Sheen) as the hot younger pitcher, a preening self-promoter (Corbin Bensen) as the third baseman, and other misfits. Sure enough, the early weeks of the season are a comedy of errors, but, despite the owner’s attempts to make them so miserable they don’t even try (they get a creaky old buss, a taped-up, propeller-driven plane, and no hot-water showers), they start coming together. After all, the catcher’s getting a second wind after being reunited with the love of his life (Rene Russo), the pitcher wants to make something of his life, two lame duck outfielders (Wesley Snipes and Dennis Haysbert) are finding themselves, and the manager sees the city rallying. Suddenly, they’re neck and neck with the New York Yankees for first place in the league, and, despite the owner’s hopes for a losing season, they all want the big prize.

Major League was funny, but it wasn’t dumb, and it had heart. You really feel for Berenger as he tries to patch things up with his old flame, Russo, and boy, is it a treat to see guys like Snipes and Haysbert so young (in particular, seeing Haysbert as a voodoo-worshipping nut when he’s now best-known as the dignified Allstate Insurance pitchman is a real treat). There’s enough baseball action to keep fans interested, the announcer (Bob Uecker) is a degrading hoot, and the end is riotously uplifting. As opposed to Blues, League’s closing shot of the cast together, celebrating, makes you smile because you know big things are in store for all of the actors:

-Berenger: already an Oscar nominee after his classic villainous turn in Platoon, won an Emmy last year for his role in the Hatfields & McCoys miniseries and has appeared in dozens of films, including the groundbreaking blockbuster Inception

-Sheen: had already appeared in two of the ‘80s most important movies (Platoon and Wall Street), went on to star in TV’s #1 comedy, Two and A Half Men, for several years. Yeah, he made headlines for getting kicked off the show by acting an a**, he parlayed that publicity into a new hilarious show, Anger Management.

-Russo: played Mel Gibson’s love interest in the 3^rd and 4^th Lethal Weapon movies, Clint Eastwood’s love interest in the well-reviewed thriller In the Line of Fire, Pierce Brosnan’s romantic foil in The Thomas Crown Affair, and recently enjoyed an expanded role as the God of Thunder’s mother in Thor: The Dark World

-Snipes: starred in the decent Fugitive sequel, U.S. Marshalls, and made tons of movies even before his popular Blade vampire trilogy

-Well, you already know what Haysbert is best known for. "So, get Allstate..." ;)

Grade: B+

Varsity Blues (1999)

Directed by Brian Robbins

Screenplay by W. Peter Iliff

Rated R

Length: 104 minutes

Major League (1989)

Written and Directed by David S. Ward

Rated R

Length: 106 minutes

OUT OF THE FURNACE

Out of the Furnace (2013)

Grade: B

Starring: Christian Bale, Woody Harrelson, Casey Affleck, Forest Whitaker, Willem Dafoe, Zoe Saldana and Sam Shephard

Premise: A steel mill worker trying to guide his loose cannon younger brother onto a better path must deal with strict law enforcement officers and dangerous thugs when his brother goes missing.

Rated R for strong, brutal violence, bloody/disturbing images, strong language and graphic depictions of drug use

Out of the Furnace starts in the most random and least-endearing way possible. The trailers promise an emotion-packed drama about two brothers, blue-collar everyman Russell (Christian Bale) and his younger sibling, tortured Iraq War vet Rodney (Casey Affleck). Yet the movie doesn’t start with either of them. It opens instead with Woody Harrelson, a fine actor who here cashes in on his unique look and unglamorous aura to play a drug-addled thug with a mean streak. This thug—who makes Harrelson’s wisecracking but weary Hunger Games mentor look as jolly as Santa Claus by comparison—rough talks a drive-in-movie date as the movie opens. He insults her, he curses at her, he starts force-feeding her and choking her, and, when a Good Samaritan tries to intervene, he beats the bejeezus out of him. With the man lying bleeding in the dirt, Harrelson’s thug opens his passenger door, flings his date out onto the ground, and then drives off.

It was a gutsy call, opening the movie like that. We’ll see Harrelson’s thug again, and we’ll know what kind of person he is thanks largely to that unnerving character intro, but that scene isn’t directly related to the rest of the plot at all. It’s dark, it’s edgy, and it evokes a slight feel of disbelief—really, they chose to open this movie like that?

That, in a nutshell, is my reaction to Out of the Furnace. With an intriguing premise and a great cast of do-anything character actors, this movie could have been a genuine crowd-pleaser if made in a relatively straight-forward manner. Furnace is instead unevenly-paced, frenetically-edited, and made in such a way that there’s a feeling of disconnect. I was underwhelmed, watching it. I was surprised there wasn’t more dialogue, surprised that the main characters and their relationships weren’t fleshed out more. The movie seemed at times too fast and, at others, too slow. Afterward, however, I found myself thinking back with enthusiasm and interest on some of the dramatic highpoints, some of the dialogue, and some of the acting. In fact, if taken as the sum of all its best parts, Out of the Furnace is a great movie. As a whole, I would say it’s not a movie I’d quickly recommend, but it is one I’d like to see again.

Plot

A lifer at the local steel mill like his dad before him, Russell Baze (Bale) only really has two goals in his life: to start a family with his gorgeous girlfriend Lena (Zoe Saldana) and help his younger brother, Rodney (Affleck), settle down and live a fulfilling life. The former seems like a given until a devastating car accident throws Russell’s life out of whack, resulting in his girlfriend leaving him for the town’s stalwart police chief (Forest Whitaker). The latter soon becomes an obsession—Russell takes his brother in, offers to get him a steady job at the mill, and even goes out of his way to pay some of Rodney's gambling debts. But, one day, Rodney disappears; no one knows where he is. Then the police find the truth and tell Russell: in a desperate effort to siphon off the simmering rage and pain of his wartime experience—and to pay off his debts—Rodney talked local barkeep/gangster Jack Petty (Willem Dafoe) into getting him a bout in a shady bare-fisted boxing ring in the New Jersey backwoods. The rumor is Rodney was then asked to take a dive to win cold-blooded kingpin Harlan DeGroat (Harrelson) some money. But Rodney, full of pride and self-resiliency, has never been one to take a dive. As the days pass and the local police seem to be dragging their feet, Russell decides to go into those woods himself, and do whatever he can to go bring his brother back.

What Works?

Happily, Out of the Furnace did not spill all its secrets in its trailer. In fact, it divulged very few of the main ones; it’s a richer and more emotionally-complex experience than it looked to be. And though the movie feels over-edited—there’s nary a scene in the movie that seems to begin and end in the right place—all the most important images stick, thanks to superb camerawork from head cinematographer Masanobu Takayanagi.

The actors all do a lot with a little. Furnace doesn’t feature Christian Bale’s best or most compelling performance, but the actor proves, once again, that he can do pretty much anything; his emotional reaction to his ex-girlfriend’s admission that she’s pregnant by her new boyfriend is a powerful one, a beautiful encapsulation of dreams flushed away. As the tortured younger sibling, Casey Affleck is superb, convincingly conveying years of pain, rage and grief. Based on his work here, I’d say he’s unquestionably the more talented Affleck brother. Harrelson revels in his baddie’s badness, making Harlan one mean, gnarly sonofabitch, and Forest Whitaker, Willem Dafoe and Zoe Saldana all make memorable impressions in smaller roles.

What Doesn’t Work?

That beginning, for one. No offense to Harrelson or any of the other actors in it, but that was one ugly note to start on, no matter how “true to the character” it may have been. The movie also ends about two minutes later than it should’ve, adding a hint of a loose strand to take the punch out of a great dramatic climax. Furnace could also make do with more dialogue in a few key scenes (particularly one encounter between Bale and Saldana’s characters), and a few other scenes appear to have been added for no real reason. Out of the Furnace is largely a very good movie (as I mentioned, I keep looking back to certain scenes and finding myself impressed), but I can’t shake the feeling that with that cast, and that premise, they could’ve made a really incredible, can’t miss feature.

Content

Lots and lots (and lots) of cursing. Bloody images that include guys pounding each other to a pulp in street fights and a freshly-skinned deer that was the victim of a Baze family hunting trip. Surprisingly, there’s no suggestive material other than a brief cuddle between Russell and Lena, but this is one dark movie, also featuring a few graphic scenes of people preparing/getting buzzed off drugs. In other words, Out of the Furnace isn’t much of a date movie.

Bottom Line

Don’t go in expecting Taken (“give me back my brother now, or I will find you, and I will kill you”); this isn’t an action movie. It can be slow, but with a solid cast and an effective storyline, Out of the Furnace is an admirable suspense thriller.

Out of the Furnace (2013)

Directed by Scott Cooper

Screenplay by Brad Ingelsby and Scott Cooper

Rated R

Length: 116 minutes

THE HUNGER GAMES: CATCHING FIRE

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

Grade: A

Starring: Jennifer Lawrence, Josh Hutcherson, Liam Hemsworth, Woody Harrelson, Donald Sutherland, Elizabeth Banks, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, Sam Claflin, Stanley Tucci, Lenny Kravitz, Jeffrey Wright and Jena Malone

Premise: Katniss Everdeen deals with deadly traps and shaky alliances in a new hunger games as she fights to protect her closest ally, Peeta.

Rated PG-13 for violence and intense action, blood and disturbing images, intense emotional content and brief language

The movie posters and marketing campaign for The Hunger Games: Catching Fire state clearly that the star of the film is Jennifer Lawrence. Ask anyone on their way to the theater to see the movie, and they’ll tell you the same thing. They’re wrong. No offense to the 23-year-old Oscar-winning actress, who headlines this film with a solid performance, but after seeing this movie, I’m convinced the real star is Director Francis Lawrence (no relation). Hired when the first Hunger Games’ director, Gary Ross, dropped out due to scheduling conflicts, Mr. Lawrence has made a sequel that is not only up to par, but arguably superior to the first movie in every way. Faster, sleeker, and more consistently entertaining, Catching Fire makes its predecessor look like an ambitious home movie, with its constant shaky-cam effects and uneven pace.  This second installment is also one of the best movie adaptations of a book I’ve ever seen (I’ve read Catching Fire, the second book in Suzanne Collins’ Hunger Games trilogy, about five times, and while watching the movie I thought: they couldn’t possibly make a better movie of Catching Fire; this is literally almost perfect).

Ross’s Hunger Games had no shortage of admirers, what with over $400 million in its domestic coffers, but Catching Fire is an immediate, unmistakable improvement, and one of the year’s best movies so far.

Plot:

As one half of the winning duo of the 74^th Hunger Games, teenager Katniss Everdeen (Jennifer Lawrence) has become an instant celebrity. Her family now lives in a mansion instead of a shack, she has more money than she knows what to do with, and everyone in her world knows her name. But her life is not without its troubles. Peeta (Josh Hutcherson)—the boy she pretended to love in order to convince the makers of the Hunger Games to let two people win instead of one—has largely turned his back on her, offended and hurt by what he perceives as nothing but acting. And that’s child’s play compared to the grudge being nursed by President Snow (Donald Sutherland), the head of the country of Panem, who saw Katniss’ actions in the Games as direct defiance of his regime and all it stands for. He considers her responsible for rebellions that have started across the twelve districts in his orderly nation, and he’s hired a new security advisor (Philip Seymour Hoffman) to think of ways to manipulate and harm Katniss. Desperate to protect herself and her family, Katniss considers running away and living a life in hiding, but the stubbornness and affection of her best friend and sort-of crush, Gale (Liam Hemsworth), stops her.

Then, in an unprecedented development, Katniss is forced to compete in the Hunger Games again, when the 75^th anniversary Games is turned into a sort of All-Star affair, with previous winners as the participants. Katniss is automatically selected, but, when her drunken mentor Haymitch (Woody Harrelson) is selected as her male counterpart, Peeta volunteers in his place. Touched, Katniss makes a secret deal with Haymitch, who will be on the outside looking in at the Games: make sure Peeta’s the one who lives. She even vows to do whatever she can--including sacrificing her own life--to ensure his survival. But even that might not be enough, because the new Games turns out to be more terrifying than any other—the arena is rigged with deadly booby traps like invisible force fields, lightning storms, unstoppable tidal waves and vicious animals. And then there are the other contestants, all former winners and, as such, proven killers, including the swaggering, confident Finnick (Sam Clalfin), cunning, fierce Johanna (Jena Malone), wicked-smart Beetee (Jeffrey Wright), and hulking Brutus (Bruno Gunn). Katniss has skill, and plenty of courage, but, as ever with the Hunger Games, there can only be one winner.

What Works?

This might be extravagant praise, but Catching Fire might be one of the most accessible movies ever made. Anyone can walk into the theater, watch it, and appreciate it, regardless of their familiarity with the source text. The direction is so assured, and the script so complete, that those who haven’t read the book won’t be missing anything (though a repeat viewing of the first movie might be necessary, as this installment hits the ground running). And devotees of Collins’ book will be enraptured, as nearly every scene has a direct basis in the text, and more than half the dialogue has been retained verbatim. As was the case in the first Hunger Games, the only significant things that have been added are a handful of behind-the-scenes sequences with President Snow, as he sits in his office watching the Games and mulling over how to exploit/demean/kill Katniss next. These scenes weren’t possible in the book because of the first-person viewpoint; they’re good for quick catch-up exposition for those who didn’t read the book (they’re certainly not hindrances, what with Sutherland’s superb, quietly-calculating performance). 

>>>NOTE: You may know me as an incredible stickler for movie adaptations being faithful to the books. Catching Fire adheres far more closely to its source text than any of the Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings or Hobbit movies, and it actually improves on a number of things from the book. Some lengthy scenes have been shortened and made more direct, some things are conveyed in a line or two of dialogue instead of pages of thought, and some of the action has been streamlined (the last third of the book has been brilliantly condensed here to leave out all unnecessary details). Ultimately, not only did it enter this reviewer’s mind that this is the best Catching Fire movie they could’ve made; it also entered my mind that this could be the (extremely) rare movie that’s actually better than the book it’s based on. I won’t say that outright, but anyone who does has a valid argument.

In this age of blockbusters filled to the brim with overwhelming CGI and constant shaky-cam-style photography, Catching Fire looks great. The cityscape of the Capitol is fuller, more convincing, and more impressive this time. The outlandish outfits worn by the well-to-do in the Capitol are as incredibly elaborate and eye-catching as ever. The arena looks great, the cinematography is incredible (the camera captures some images perfectly) and three of the central action sequences in the Games have been made into three of this year’s most awesome and invigorating sequences (in particular, there’s a bit with a flock of attacking birds that comes straight from a Hitchcockian nightmare). In other words, they did a darn good job making this movie.

No, The Hunger Games: Catching Fire isn’t really an actors’ movie, but the iconic characters are all brought to life by fully-committed performers. In the biggest and juiciest role, Jennifer Lawrence acquits herself well. Despite her Best Actress Oscar win last year, I have doubts about the overall range of her acting ability, but she’s found a perfect role for her talents in Katniss, and she can turn on the hysterics like few others (she can shake an audience to its core--and does it--with her crying/screaming antics in the big moments here). No one else has as showy a role as Lawrence, but that may be because some of them don’t even appear to be acting. I wrote in my review of the original Games movie that the part of Peeta fits Josh Hutcherson “like a glove”, and I stand by that statement after a second go-around; he just is the genuinely kind-hearted boy-next-door. Similarly, Woody Harrelson just is the cynical layabout Haymitch, Lenny Kravitz just is the warm, soothing Cinna, and even Liam Hemsworth is easily-convincing as the sturdy Gale. I was more impressed with Elizabeth Banks this go-round--the actress is constantly peering out from behind walls of makeup and from under eye-watering wigs, but her character, Effie Trinket, is actually given real emotion and depth, a step up from the comic relief she provides on the page. As mentioned, Sutherland is great; another returner from the first film, Stanley Tucci, proves a delightful fountain of energy, and newcomer Philip Seymour Hoffman lacks a really showy role but makes up for it just by playing convincingly smarter than everybody else. The chief new Games contender, Finnick, is not only well-captured by Sam Claflin, but the actor adds an edgier, more sardonic bite to his dialogure (and when Finnick’s façade cracks over the fate of an ally, Claflin makes you remember it). Lastly, a perfectly-cast Jena Malone makes a great impression in a short time as feisty tough girl Johanna.

What Doesn’t Work?

Uhhh…was there anything? Well, I won’t deny Catching Fire is long—it feels like two-and-a-half hours, and despite the excitement happening, it can drag. Happily, all of its slowest moments happen early on—about ten minutes in comes a scene between Donald Sutherland and Jennifer Lawrence that crackles with sharp dialogue, and that rights the ship. This isn't a perfect movie, but I can't pretend I have many beefs with it.

Content

There are a few cuss words (including two actually bleeped out by the movie), and a few brief innuendos, but, of course, what makes this movie tough is the majority of its content. There’s less people-on-people fighting this time around, but still plenty of close-ups of people who are dead, dying, or severely injured. There are a lot of scary or unsettling moments, whether that’s attacking animals, a pounding soundtrack, or Jennifer Lawrence screaming in distress. It’s true that the books were aimed at teenagers, but I would advise parents with younger kids to see it first themselves (or watch the first one, because it’s the same sort of general content).

Bottom Line (seriously, this is it)

Whew, that was a lot. A great book turned into a movie that might actually be outright better than the book? Have I ever written anything like that on this blog before? Seriously, Hunger Games: Catching Fire is a terrific adaptation, a considerably better movie than its predecessor, and easily the best big-budget spectacle in a year full of half-hearted disappointments. And it really does make you want to see the next one right now.

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)

Directed by Francis Lawrence

Written by Simon Beaufoy and Michael Arndt; Based on the novel by Suzanne Collins

Rated PG-13

Length: 146 minutes

THOR: THE DARK WORLD

Thor: The Dark World
Grade: C+

Starring: Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston, Christopher Eccleston, Anthony Hopkins, Kat Dennings, Stellan Skarsgaard, Idris Elba and Rene Russo
Premise: Thor teams up with his disgraced brother Loki to try and stop the Dark Elves from unleashing an ancient, destructive power on the universe.

Rated PG-13 for intense action and violence, some bloody/disturbing images, and some language

I wanted to like Thor: The Dark World. I really did. I know all it’s supposed to be is stylized, easily-digestible popcorn movie hokum, but, as 2011’s Thor proved, this particular material can’t help but have a certain charm. With a whole host of game, likeable actors (Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston, Anthony Hopkins, Idris Elba) playing larger-than-life characters built on old-fashioned morals and drive, and an entire universe (make that multiple universes) to play with, Thor has an intriguing mythological aspect the modern Iron Man and Spiderman movies can’t. But the filmmakers clearly don’t care for any real complexity (probably assuming their fanboy target audience doesn't, either), so, despite the actors’ best efforts, the movie’s really about the quips, the storyline gimmicks, the celeb cameos, and the Marvel Comics in-jokes. The result is a film that has its moments but is also unmistakably packaged to be nothing more than marketable, to simply tide people over until the next Avengers can come out. Which is a shame.

Plot

It’s been two years since astrophysicist Jane Foster (Natalie Portman) met and fell in love with Asgardian warrior prince Thor (Chris Hemsworth) in the New Mexico desert, but she hasn’t forgotten him. In fact, she now spends her days hunting for evidence of shifting gravitational fields and random atmospheric anomalies, hoping for a way to communicate with him. When her colleague Darcy (Kat Dennings) discovers a kind of gravitational wormhole in downtown London, Jane eagerly goes to investigate. It’s not a way to communicate with Thor; what Jane finds is the Aether, an ancient, matter destroying particle virus hidden on Earth millennia ago by Thor’s grandfather, who sought to keep it out of reach of the Dark Elves, a cruel prehistoric race who wanted to quench all light in the universe. When Jane unwittingly touches the Aether, it infects her, leaving her alive but prone to random destructive outbursts. Sensing the danger while on a break between battles in the Nine Realms, Thor returns to Earth to keep Jane from causing anyone harm, and to see if his father, Odin (Anthony Hopkins), and mother, Frigga (Rene Russo), know of any ways to heal her. They don’t, but their attention soon moves on from Jane when the Dark Elves—thought by even Odin to be instinct—attack Asgard in invisible, technologically-advanced spacecraft. Their leader, Malekith (Christopher Eccleston), seeks to use the Aether to destroy the universe, killing Jane if that’s what it takes to release it.

While Odin dutifully prepares for a long war, Thor, desperate to free Jane from the Aether, turns to an old adversary for help: Loki (Tom Hiddleston). After his failed conquest of Earth (in The Avengers), Loki was spared execution at Odin’s hands only by his adopted mother’s love, so he spends his days whiling away time in a dungeon. Despite their adversarial relationship, Thor has never completely given up on his adopted brother, and, though he warns Loki he’ll kill him if he betrays him, he admits he knows Loki must know ways off Asgard that aren’t being watched, as he has dabbled in dark magic. Thor’s plan is to get Jane to The Dark World—the Dark Elves’ home planet—and find a way to free the Aether in that environment, where it can’t damage anything of real value. Loki agrees to help, but they both know they’re in a race against time—a rare cosmic alignment of all Nine Realms is approaching, and, if he regains possession of the Aether at the right moment, Malekith will find it all too easy to destroy them.

What Works?

Hemsworth remains a manly hunk who’s fun to watch in a fight, but the fact remains the most interesting thing about Thor is his hammer. He’s a thinly-written character on the page. The heart and soul of this film is really Loki. Indeed, after two Thor movies--plus his appearance in The Avengers--I think it's clear Hiddleston's sharp-tongued ne'er-do-well is the MVP of this part of the Marvel Universe. You can feel the audience's interest increase with Loki's every appearance, because, even if all he's doing is speaking from behind the glass of a prison cell, Hiddleston makes him intriguing, suggesting a depth, unpredictability, and realness of emotion the other characters don't. All of The Dark World's best scenes revolve around Loki--he supplies most of the film's humor and a good portion of the energy--thanks to Hiddleston's knack for delivering his lines like they're Shakespeare, no matter how lame they really are. And Hemsworth can thank Hiddleston: all of Thor's best scenes come in Loki's presence, because the characters' portrayed bond gives both the chance to dig a little deeper, which keeps Thor from being just a guy swinging a hammer.

As before, the city and landscapes set on these invented worlds are gorgeous, and the campy, half Lord of the Rings/half Star Wars theology/mythology makes for intriguing background stories and epic battles. You could undoubtedly set a whole franchise in these Realms, and just leave Earth out of the picture. A quietly-gorgeous Asgard-set funeral highlights the promise of the aesthetic, other-worldly pleasures of this franchise. And I’ll admit The Dark World’s constant twists and turns do make for some pleasant surprises.

What Doesn’t Work?

Yeah, the ‘What Works’ section wasn’t very long for a reason. I didn’t hate Thor: The Dark World, I just grew frustrated with it. Too many things weren’t done right. Natalie Portman’s Jane is here stripped of all conviction/depth; she’s basically a wide-eyed fangirl.  Her sidekick Darcy is an irritating motormouth. Stellan Skarsgaard’s pseudo-father figure scientist has somehow morphed into a grating, gibberish-spouting nutcase. Some of the special effects are corny (a scene where Dark Elf spacecraft face anti-aircraft laser fire from Asgardian towers screams Star Wars rip-off) and the film’s conclusion makes little sense and is dragged out way too long. Oh, and the next conclusion (we’ve learned by now: Marvel comics movies never have just one) essentially throws out the best five minutes of the movie, leaving fanboys cheering but leaving serious moviegoers groaning.

The movie’s also littered with small self-contradictory details (how come cops and Asgardian nurses can’t touch Jane without getting blasted by the Aether, but Thor can? How can Thor hang his hammer on a coat rack without it causing any damage when it’s supposed to be so heavy even the Hulk can’t lift it? And really—a guy who survived laser gun blasts and a whack upside the head with Thor’s hammer dies by getting crushed by a falling spaceship? Seriously?) Oh, and I always knew Thor would pick Jane, but I can’t help thinking the writers missed out (or maybe I just think Thor himself missed out) by giving an early hint that Thor’s sexy ally Sif (Jaimie Alexander) has eyes for him, and then dropping it and forgetting about it. Thor: The Dark World probably doesn’t need anything else crammed into its nonstop-busy two hours, but a love triangle might’ve added a little something extra, don’t you think?

Content

It’s your typical Marvel movie. There are some intense moments and some nasty baddies and the main characters occasionally find themselves in dire situations, but everything works out, there’s no blood, and no one (except bad guys) gets all that hurt. There’s definitely an Earth-bound cuss word or two, but the only nudity is a shot of Thor’s muscular torso, and all the violence is largely cartoonish. Not saying kiddies won’t find The Dark World intense, but it shouldn’t give them nightmares.

The Bottom Line

A little too long, too crowded, and too obviously aiming to be a crowd-pleaser rather than a movie of any real merit, Thor: The Dark World is a decent blockbuster, but not more than that. That flying hammer sure is cool, though.

Thor: The Dark World (2013)

Directed by Alan Taylor

Written for the Screen by Christopher Yost, Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely; Based on the Comic Book by Stan Lee, Larry Lieber and Jack Kirby

Rated PG-13

Length: 112 minutes

ENDER'S GAME

Ender’s Game (2013)
Grade: B+

Starring: Asa Butterfield, Harrison Ford, Hailee Steinfeld, Viola Davis, Abigail Breslin, Ben Kingsley, Aramis Knight, Moises Arias and Nonso Anozie

Premise: An intellectually-gifted boy is selected for membership at a school designed to train combat commanders. As he moves through the ranks, he comes to realize he may be humanity's only hope in the upcoming war with a powerful alien race.

Rated PG-13 for intense action and violent content, and some disturbing images

Rarely have I been so undecided and unsure of my feelings after one viewing of a movie as I was after I saw Ender’s Game last Thursday night. I’d been looking forward to seeing it for some time, but between being tired at the end of a long work day, and being unable to keep comparisons to the book (which I have read) out of my head, I didn’t quite know what to think. Immediately, I knew I’d need a second viewing. After all, it seemed to be a pretty faithful adaptation of Orson Scott Card’s enduringly-popular science fiction epic, and I’m somebody who traditionally hates movie adaptations of books because they tend to alter details. Yet I’m not a complete devotee of the book like some of my friends are, so I could watch the movie for the movie (this has memorably not been my mindset for movies past; so I've had some pretty vindictive responses to the likes of Harry Potter and Silver Linings Playbook for differing from their source material).

Well, after seeing Ender's Game again last night, I was roundly impressed. It’s unquestionably one of the most faithful big-screen adaptations of a book I’ve ever seen. Showing a flair for stunning visuals and giving tight focus to a few key characterizations, writer/director Gavin Hood’s film is a well-paced and well-acted adventure that really, above all, is a study of one boy’s very human heart.

Plot

Some fifty years after Earth was nearly conquered by an insectoid alien race called Formics, the world’s leaders have adopted a program in which gifted children are sent to special military schools and trained to think like military leaders. Some of them are even fitted with a cerebral monitor that allows government personnel in distant telecommunications rooms to see what they’re seeing, hear what they’re hearing, and see if they might have the temperament and habits to be a great leader. Andrew ‘Ender’ Wiggin (the very good Asa Butterfield) is one such boy, the third in his family to be ‘monitored’. His sweetheart sister, Valentine (Abigail Breslin), failed out of the ‘monitor’ program and the chance to go to an elite ‘battle school’ because she was too compassionate; his brother Peter (Jimmy Pinchak) failed because he was too aggressive. Ender might be smarter than either of them, but he doesn’t seem to have the guile to be a great military leader. But when he beats the tar out of a bigger, tougher classmate who mocks him for appearing to have failed out of the monitoring program early on, a gruff, no-nonsense colonel by the name of Graff (Harrison Ford) likes what he sees.

Suddenly, Ender’s whisked away to battle school, a fascinating, floating fortress in space where kids are separated into Armies, live like real military recruits, and practice fighting techniques and battle strategy during zero-gravity face-offs with freeze-ray guns. Ender’s shy and skinny, but he has heart, and brains. He sees things others don’t, as Graff is quick to point out. With his quick intellect, he can out-think people, whether that’s dissing class bullies, out-talking a blustering drill sergeant (Nonso Anozie), subverting enemy maneuvers or proving a better strategist, and fiercer fighter, than even his hard-nosed Army commander (Moises Arias). He soon has an Army of his own, which includes treasured allies like the cocksure Bean (Aramis Knight), warmly-supportive Petra (Hailee Steinfeld), and quietly-encouraging Alai (Suraj Partha). He’s soon being shadowed by Graff, mentored by the great leader who stopped the last Formic invasion (Ben Kingsley), and being groomed for eventual military command. But, no matter how many ‘battles’ he wins, no matter how much ‘fighting’ he does, and despite his knack for taking out the people who really push him, Ender isn’t sure he wants to be at the forefront of a destructive fighting force. By and large, he’s more afraid of the darkness in his own heart—what he, personally, is capable of—than of any so-called enemy race.

What Works?

Ender’s Game moves quickly—a trip to the bathroom or concessions mid-scene may leave you lost when you return—but if you focus too obsessively on the story and the dialogue, you might miss the fact that this movie is gorgeous to look at. Gavin Hood and his teams of special effects experts have created a spectacle that’s utterly beyond reproach, and deserves mention alongside the likes of Avatar, Life of Pi and Gravity as top-of-the-line cinematic eye candy. Whether you’re talking about the battle room—with its elaborate spherical design, floating obstacles, streamlined fight suits and immobilizing ray guns—the floating battle school as a whole, or space battles in which fleets of high-tech spacecraft are surrounded by gargantuan swarms of attacking fighters, Game is filled with stunning sights. One throwaway shot as impressive as any is the night-time launch of a space shuttle, its afterburners providing the only light, and its ascent accentuated by snow glistening on the mountains behind it.

The acting is uniformly fine, starting with Ender himself. Asa Butterfield proved himself capable of carrying a movie of real dramatic weight two years ago in Hugo, and here, given some great material by Gavin Hood, he gives an impressive, well-rounded performance. Though Ender can think and reason like the smartest adults (you can all but see the wheels in his head turning scene after scene), he’s still a child—homesick, afraid, and horrified and disgusted by what he sometimes does under pressure. With his big, expressive eyes, Butterfield emotes fearlessly and effectively, reminding us constantly that Ender is no robot. On the opposite side of the emotional spectrum is Colonel Graff, played by sci-fi legend Ford as essentially the opposite of the actor’s typical devil-may-care types. Graff has a core of hard, cold steel, and the lack of humor or whimsy of a man who’s spent his entire life preparing, dead-seriously, for war; yet from that fighting-man’s approach comes a reverence for his young prodigy, when it becomes clear Ender might have “the stuff”. He doesn’t care whether war might claim Ender or anyone else’s life (“what does it matter if there’s nothing left?” he snarls at one point to a subordinate), but he cares obsessively about getting him there, because he sees Ender as the One Thing that might just save humanity. It’s a fine, fully-committed performance.

I’ve already heard a lot of murmuring by devotees of Card’s book that most of the supporting roles have been cut so thin by Hood’s screenplay that they aren’t very faithful to the book, or else have been majorly cheated, but that’s not a surprise in cutting a dense 250-plus page book down to a two-hour movie. The actors in those roles commit themselves well, though, no matter the screen-time. Viola Davis is solid (no surprise there) as a more empathetic military officer, Abigail Breslin convincingly portrays Valentine’s gentleness and sweetness, which a violence-hating person like Ender craves in his life, Moises Arias commands the screen as hateful Army commander Bonzo Madrid, and Aramis Knight brings down the house with one of Bean’s most hilariously-cutting comeback lines.

 What Doesn’t Work?

Though Ender’s Game is neither a monsters-in-space movie (a la Alien and Prometheus) nor a space-based action extravaganza (Star Wars, Star Trek), it’s still consistently entertaining, bringing lots of strategy and intrigue to the screen as it builds to the spectacular final battle. Most of my criticisms of the film are nit-picks, like the fact that Ender’s blustering drill sergeant is a hammy cliché, despite a committed performance by the hulking Nonso Anozie. But despite the generally stimulating onscreen developments in this adaptation, two scenes resonate with me as not quite complete. One involves the great Ben Kingsley, whose third-act appearance is hampered by his character’s borderline-unintelligible Australian accent. There's a scene in which he tries to explain to Ender his unique facial tattoos, but after two viewings, I still don’t have a clue what he said (and it sounded important). The other scene is a late-in-the-running-time meeting between Ender and one of the Formics. Throughout all his strategizing and simulated battles, Ender has been yearning to know his enemy, and this scene, while bookended by sort-of-descriptive voiceovers, still lacks something (this is one of the times where knowing the book's additional detail will seriously be of assistance to viewers). The Formics can’t speak, but there appears to be an attempt to communicate, but without any words—even voiceover—you just have to assume what went on. I wanted something more, mainly because the book’s poignant, thoughtful ending was my favorite part.

 The Bottom Line

I don’t think Ender’s Game the movie is going to be a real widespread crowd-pleaser, but as someone who was mildly familiar with the book, I enjoyed it immensely. It’s visually astonishing, has a few good laughs and some spectacular battles (the strategies Ender uses in battle, as they did in Card’s book, have a way of making you feel smarter just for seeing and understanding them). But the film, like the book, really boils down to a realistic and intimate psychological portrait, where a child with a genius adult’s mind and knack for strategy struggles to hold onto his innocence, and to reason with the increasingly cold, bleak world around him. In Ender I see the struggle against violence and darkness and callousness we all experience, and the movie’s better for it. A well-acted, marvelously-put together sci-fi adventure piece with a conscience? Sounds like a movie I’ll watch again.

Ender’s Game (2013)

Written for the Screen and Directed by Gavin Hood
Based on the novel “Ender’s Game” by Orson Scott Card
Rated PG-13
Length: 114 minutes

KICK-ASS 2

Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Grade: B+
Starring: Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Chloe Grace Moretz, Christopher Mintz-Plasse, Morris Chestnut, Jim Carrey, Garrett M. Brown and Donald Faison
Premise: Teens Dave Lizewski and Mindy Macready struggle to keep their self-made superhero past in the past, even as an old rival plots deadly revenge.

Rated R for strong bloody violence, constant profanity (including graphic sexual references), brief nudity, crude humor and some disturbing images

If it hadn’t come out in the weeks following the surprisingly-decent Wolverine and the terrific Elysium, I might praise Kick-Ass 2 for being the first live-action summer movie truly worth watching since June’s Man of Steel. That said, in a landscape filled with tame PG-13 blockbusters that shy away from blood, carefully count profanities, and act as though cataclysmic events have little to no effect on the average person, this no-holds-barred, very R-rated comic book adaptation sequel works like a shot of adrenaline, waking up the daring, bored moviegoer. A big fan of the rude and crude 2010 original, I knew Kick-Ass 2 would be a volatile cocktail of a movie, daring you to laugh at cold-cocked gender and racist stereotypes, thrilling you with elaborately-staged action sequences and also bringing you back to earth with grisly reminders of the real-life consequences of violence. It also invites you to laugh, gasp, or do whatever you might do upon learning that one of the major characters decides—early in the film—that he wants to now and forever be referred to by the least family-friendly word that ever included both an M and an F.

 For those who really care, I would say that this sequel—the rare 2^nd movie that doesn’t even slightly attempt to leave the door open for a 3^rd—can’t quite match the original’s freshness and audacity, but it’s also a funny, thrilling, and surprisingly-compelling movie that earns its keep.

Story:

Dorky teen Dave Lizewski (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) has a stunning girlfriend (Lyndsey Fonseca), a devoted best pal (Clark Duke), and a caring, admiring father (Garrett M. Brown), but after offing a bloodthirsty mob boss and barely escaping death at the end of the first movie, his life seems to drag. Sure, he only bought a body suit and a pair of batons, and did little actual crime-stopping, but his dalliance as self-made superhero Kick-Ass was a constant adrenaline rush. And he’s not the only one trying to adjust—now-parentless little ninja Mindy Macready, aka Hit Girl (Chloe Grace Moretz), tries to abide by the rules laid down by her kindly-stern guardian (Morris Chestnut) and live a normal teen high-schooler life, but she can’t settle down, either. After all, her whole life has seemed to build up to more than trying to get in with snotty queen bee Brooke (Claudia Lee).

These two, who saved each other’s lives several times over in the previous film, go their separate ways. When a knack for scalding wit and supreme fitness actually gets her in with the popular girls, Mindy suddenly finds it wonderfully easy to not be Hit Girl. Dave, meanwhile, falls for an invitation to don the suit again, meet up and join forces with another goofy-looking self-made hero, Doctor Gravity (Donald Faison). The two make an excellent team wielding bat and batons against thugs on the street, and they soon receive an invite to merge with the Nirvana of geeky superhero-dom, Justice Forever, a devoted brotherhood of self-made heroes led by a strutting, born-again mafia enforcer who calls himself Colonel Stars and Stripes (Jim Carrey). This “alliance”—which happens to include the hot-to-trot sister of a murdered socialite (Lindy Booth), as well as Dave’s good friend Tommy (Duke), dressed as generic superhero “Battle Guy”—becomes a hit, running the gauntlet from helping out at soup kitchens to breaking down the door of a covert sex trafficker’s den. There’s trouble in paradise, though. Chris D’Amico (Christopher Mintz-Plasse), the geeky, repressed son of the mobster Kick-Ass killed, decides to accelerate his plans for dastardly revenge after getting a lesson in steely cruelty from his incarcerated uncle (Game of Thrones’ Iain Glenn). He’s soon recruiting an “evil army”, rubbing shoulders with street punks, drug dealers, ex-cons and retired gangsters and military men from around the world, and he has his sights set on Kick-Ass.

What Works?

Kick-Ass 2, once supposed to be subtitled Balls to the Wall, is one of the fullest and busiest movies of the summer, with about a dozen major characters and several important subplots. And yet it’s almost perfectly-balanced—none of the storylines become unnecessarily heavy-handed, you care about all of the major characters, the fights are cool but they never distract from the plot, the humor is fearless and plentiful, and the movie never stoops to the level of mean-spiritedness its predecessor did with its nasty, late-act torture scene. The two domestic conflicts (Dave trying to obey his father’s wishes to settle down, and Mindy’s attempts to please her guardian, Marcus, by being a good, normal girl) are poignant but aren’t rammed down the viewer’s throat—conveyed in a couple of scenes and a few key exchanges of dialogue, they’re such familiar teen-movie tropes they don’t need to take over the movie to make their point.

While a more exclusive niche movie like this was never going to have a huge audience, 2 did receive some unfortunate press a few months back when series newcomer Jim Carrey—who has arguably the most prominent new role—decided he wouldn’t participate in the preceding publicity campaign for the film (because of its largely-violent content) in wake of the Sandy Hook Elementary School massacre. It’s no secret that what makes the Kick-Ass movies tick is reckless, ruthless, adrenaline-pumping action, but after watching this film, I can’t help but defend it. I’ll be the first to admit I don’t feel like a saint watching a movie like this, and of course it eeks over the line into tasteless territory a few times, but I notice here, just as I did with the first movie, that it makes clear the difference between cool, eye-popping blockbuster-style action, and unpleasant, ripped-from-the-headlines-style murders and executions. It doesn’t always, but it’s one thing watching Hit Girl level a bunch of quippy street punks with nun-chucks and drop kicks; it’s an entirely different thing when someone unexpectedly gets his throat slit by someone he thought was a friend, or even when one of the main antagonists (a muscle-bound, lingerie sporting “former KGB", Mother Russia, played by a fabulously-scene-stealing Olga Kurkulina) coldly mows down a dozen cops, killing them with knives, gunshots, snaps of the neck, and even a lawnmower. Let’s just say I love a good action movie, and I like to clap and cheer and exclaim excitedly, but I know when the happenings onscreen are supposed to be sobering. You’d hope—and, clearly, Carrey hopes—most everyone can likewise tell the difference.

A movie like Kick-Ass 2 is a dream for actors, because nearly everyone onscreen gets to do something cool, funny, exciting, interesting or exaggeratedly stupid. It’s true a movie like this gets its appeal from its action-y razzle-dazzle, but the characters stay at the fore. Taylor-Johnson again makes Dave a sympathetic figure, a normal guy who doesn’t want to live a regular, ordinary life now that he’s tasted action and adventure...but who also really doesn’t want to kill or hurt anybody. Despite Dave’s likeability, Hit Girl, who was elevated to cult-hero status when the original Kick-Ass bowed in theatres back in 2010, remains the heart of the film. While Moretz can’t quite scale the stupefying heights she reached before—few could, and she did that at age 11—she proves to be not only as delightfully quippy and badass as before, but she’s a legitimately good actress. When Mindy is painfully rebuffed by the popular girls at school and seeks tearful solace with Dave, you truly feel for her, and her commitment to helping and training Dave convinces you that you wouldn’t rather anyone else have your back.

The other major returning actor from the first film, Christopher Mintz-Plasse is again a hoot; he’s becoming one of the most watchable actors in the business, with his knack for dithering, wannabe bad-ass showboating. You’re hard-pressed not to laugh at his every line, let alone each time he says his character’s crude new nickname.  Numerous other actors make effective contributions, including Morris Chestnut as Mindy’s guardian, Garrett M. Brown as Dave’s dad, Carrey, Lindy Booth, Claudia Lee and Donald Faison (having a ball as the clownish Dr. Gravity).

What Doesn’t Work?

The name of the game with Kick-Ass 2 is obviously pushing the envelope, and sometimes they push it too far. There’s a hilarious riff on teen girls’ obsessions with smoky British boy bands, but the absurdly outrageous way Mindy exacts revenge on the school’s queen bees for humiliating her is not only disgusting, but it’s so far over the top it belongs in a different movie. The queen bee herself, though well-played by Claudia Lee, also ends up a disappointment—after a first scene stuffed with juicy dialogue, the character deteriorates quickly into a cartoonish stereotype. Also, several of the cold-blooded killings by the antagonists teeter on the ledge of nastiness the first film jumped right off with the aforementioned torture spectacle; not to mention a scene where a Korean mobster screams in pain while a dog chews on his netherparts goes on way too long.  Kick-Ass 2 also unavoidably misses Nicholas Cage, whose doomed maniac Big Daddy was one of the key cogs in the first movie, not to mention the actor’s best role in about a decade.

Finally, I’m surprised how little of this film Jim Carrey’s actually in. His character has an important part, he’s got some good scenes and great lines, and he’s one of the characters you’ll remember, but I can’t help wondering if his role was shaved on the cutting-room floor (possibly even by his own wishes) after his opinions went public.

Content: In case you didn’t get the idea, Kick-Ass 2 is intense stuff. Bad words starting with ‘f’, ‘b’ and ‘c’ fly around like punctuation, as do euphemisms for male and female anatomy, as well as colorful descriptions of sexual acts. There are also multiple jokes deriving humor from gender, race, sexual orientation and intimate bodily functions. There’s a brief shot of a pair of topless women (several others go through the entirety of the film barely covering anything), and, of course, the violence pulls no punches. Off goes a guy’s hand, out goes a guy’s eye, headfirst under the tires of a speeding truck goes another baddie, and on and on we go. Most fans of Kick-Ass 2 will expect all this—for the uninitiated: don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Bottom Line (I Promise): Kick-Ass 2 isn’t a movie I’d recommend to many casual moviegoers, and it can’t reach the same superbly fearless heights as its 2010 predecessor, but this fast, fun, funny and outrageous film is nearly as entertaining as movies come.

Kick-Ass 2 (2013)

Written for the screen and Directed by Jeff Wadlow
Based on the comics by Mark Millar and John Romita Jr.
Rated R
Length: 103 minutes

John McClane and The Wolverine

OLD DOGS, NEW TRICKS:

Hugh Jackman’s Wolverine goes to Japan to find himself in his sixth film, and Bruce Willis’ John McClane, in his fifth film, goes to Russia to find his estranged son.

Joint Review of The Wolverine and A Good Day to Die Hard (both 2013)

A Good Day to Die Hard
Grade: D
Starring: Bruce Willis, Jai Courtney, Sebastian Koch, Rasha Bukvic, Yulia Snigir, Cole Hauser and Mary Elizabeth Winstead
Premise: John McClane travels to Russia to find his grown son, Jack, whose CIA spy duties have gotten him into deep trouble.

Rated R for strong violence and blood, language, intense action including several devastating car accident scenes, and brief suggestive material

That A Good Day to Die Hard even exists is a crime. True movie fans probably know this without even seeing it, everyone else will after they watch it (if they do—which isn’t recommended). It’s not just a crime in that it’s a bad movie (which it is), but its real wrongdoing is once and for all soiling the name and aura of one of the best action films of all time and possibly one of the best films of all time, 1988’s original Die Hard. That memorable terrorist thriller introduced audiences to John McClane (Bruce Willis) a then-vacationing NYPD detective whose destiny turned out to perpetually be The Fly In the Ointment, The Wrong Guy in the Wrong Place at the Wrong Time, the guy who gets into other people’s messes and fixes them, all by just making things up as he goes along. That setup proved bountiful in the original and two intense 1990s sequels, and even a not-too-bad fourth adventure a few years back. But A Good Day to Die Hard is a bomb, an absolute train wreck from the instant it begins, and it will feel like a tragedy—even a very personal wrong—to those who love the franchise.

 Story: Supposedly in the twilight of his police career, John McClane (bald-as-an-egg Willis) decides to take an impromptu trip to Moscow when he learns his son Jack (Jai Courtney) is a CIA detective in what seems to be in a serious spot. Jack has recently been arrested for murder and is now being forced to testify as a witness in the high-profile trial of fallen-from-grace Russian scientist Yuri Kamarov (Sebastian Koch). Said trial is interrupted—just before Papa John can walk into the courtroom to find his son—by a bombing, a scheme led by a chuckling Russian gangster (Rasha Bukvic). Jack escapes with Kamarov—his witness to prove the wrongs of another famous Russian bigwig—but his superiors at the CIA refuse to provide him with an evac with the Russian mob hot on his tail. They’re in such hot pursuit Jack barely escapes; he does, though, thanks to his old man, whom he is loathe to thank. After all, no matter his dad’s toughness and instincts in a tight spot, Jack still sees the guy who divorced his mom and who was more interested in his career then his kids. John, for his part, is borderline desperate to connect with the son he overlooked. With the Russian mob hot on their tails, John tries to get Jack to connect him, to really trust him, so they can work together to get Kamarov to safety in CIA hands.

What Doesn’t Work?

Almost everything. A Good Day to Die Hard is a muddled mess, less a new entry in a 25-year old iconic franchise than some C-grade TV thriller with corny Eastern European villains, a boring plot, dark, cloudy visuals, tissue-paper thin characters, and rushed, borderline-unintelligible dialogue (I had to watch the entire movie in English subtitles to understand the majority of even the Americans’ lines). As previously stated: that this film is at all associated with any of the previous entries, let alone the original Die Hard, is a travesty. It does the name serious disservice. 

 Okay, so, I didn’t really expect anything awesome from a fourth sequel, but A Good Day sinks like a stone. The beginning, with the muttering Russians with unintelligible names, doesn’t inspire confidence, and the rest of the movie follows suit. It sprints through its set-up, treating early scenes like an inconvenience that must be dealt with until the bullets can start flying, but doing so leaves out the answers to some important questions: How does John McClane not know that his son is in the CIA? How does he find out about the murder trial? Why does he keep saying he’s on vacation when he went to Moscow specifically to find his son? Why doesn’t his son have a personality? Why? It gets worse: People walk away from crushed car pileups with nary a scratch, people jump out of buildings to evade explosions or gunfire only to land happily in canvas tarps or conveniently-placed swimming pools and the main villain, Bukvic’s playboy, is supposed to be scary but he spends his time eating carrots and tap-dancing, and his big attempt to psychologically wound our heroes involves reminding them that Ronald Reagan is dead.

 Oh, and our heroes? Our barely-tolerable protagonists is more like it. We know John and Jack McClane are the main characters, and main characters don’t usually die, so they don’t, but that’s about all the significance they have. Other then a glimmer of chemistry or two, the movie has a big black hole at its center where meaningful characters should be (a far cry from the original and even the decent Live Free or Die Hard, the most meaningful aspect of which was the odd-couple relationship between the tough, manly McClane and the likably goofy Justin Long, playing a wanted computer hacker). These two just yell at each other over the roar of gunfire, and in between explosions. As Jack, Courtney—who showed flashes of potential in last winter’s Jack Reacher—scowls, mumbles and lacks any real traits except the irritating habit of calling his father “John” or “McClane”, just in case anyone figured the McClane family wasn’t the happiest bunch in the world. And Willis himself has a hard time eliciting even slight grins from the audience with weak one-liners. **NOTE: One of A Good Day’s biggest missteps is wasting Mary Elizabeth Winstead as Lucy McClane; she’s in two brief scenes here, but her feisty tough-girl was Live Free’s other X factor**

 What Works?

Willis will never be completely charmless. While this script’s attempts at humor mostly elicit groans, his patented “Yippie-ki-yay” can’t help but raise your spirits, and the actor even brings a touch of real, gruffly-gentle father pathos to a brief scene where he tells his son he’s had a good day with him, even if they’ve spent it running for their lives. There’s little else to recommend in this film (and I’m not recommending it), other than perhaps a vaguely-watchable action scene or two, but even these are largely marred by huge gaps in logic ("he would not have survived that!") or third-rate special effects (that almost laughable helicopter explosion at the end, followed by our heroes falling into the Conveniently-Placed Swimming Pool).

 Content: There was no real reason to make Live Free the first PG-13 film in the series except to lure in some more bucks, but whatever. A Good Day celebrates its R-ratedness with plenty of F-words, a few bloody wounds, a quick shot of a woman in a skimpy outfit, and some loud, guns-a-blazin’ violence. Seriously, though, you do see at least two people get shot through the head at close range. Keep the kiddies away.

 Bottom Line: Tiresome, barely-watchable dreck that shames the series that spawned it.

THE WOLVERINE

Grade: B-
Starring: Hugh Jackman, Tao Okamoto, Rila Fukushima, Hal Yamanouchi, Ken Yamamura, Svetlana Khodchenkova and Famke Janssen
Premise: Self-exiled from the other X-Men, Logan is lured to Tokyo by an old acquaintance with an incredible offer.

Rated PG-13 for intense action violence, some blood and gory material, language, and some sexual content

I hadn’t planned on seeing The Wolverine—Hugh Jackman’s sixth go-round as Marvel comics’ metal-clawed leading man—until a couple days ago, when some friends convinced me to, and here I am pleasantly surprised. In a summer of hotly-anticipated, big-budget whoppers so underwhelming I can’t remember anything about after having seen them (Fast & Furious 6, The Lone Ranger, After Earth), The Wolverine might actually be the first blockbuster this summer that exceeded my expectations. It’s not a perfect movie by any means, but I really didn’t think the world needed another X-Men movie, let alone another solely about the surly, burly Wolverine, but I can already tell it’s one movie from this summer that will stand alone in my mind. And that’s saying something.

Story: Time has passed since Logan (Jackman) had to kill his lady-love, Jean Grey (Famke Janssen), to stop her from being fully overtaken by her powers and destroying the world (in 2006’s X-Men: The Last Stand), but he hasn’t healed. When he’s not having disturbing nightmares, he’s wandering the woods, occasionally surfacing in local towns for a beer or some batteries for his radio. He’s also sworn (to the memory of Jean) that he will never use his claws for malicious intent again. However, he’s right on the verge of breaking that vow and teaching some drunken thugs a lesson when a red-haired, sword-wielding Japanese woman (Rila Fukushima) intervenes. Not only does she wield a sword like a mean extension of her body, but she appears able to tell the future. And she has an invitation for Logan: accompany her back to Japan to meet her employer (Hal Yamanouchi), the elderly, dying business tycoon Logan saved decades before from severe injury during the Nagasaki atomic bombing at the end of the World War II. The old man, who--as a soldier at the prison camp where Logan was being held, saw and realized the full extent of Logan’s powers when he survived the nuke--has spent his life expanding the bounds of robotic and medical science, trying to find a way to make himself immortal, too. However, when Logan appears before him (ostensibly “to say goodbye”) he offers something seemingly-impossible: immortality. Logan can rest, after his nearly two centuries of life, and be forever united with Jean’s spirit in the great beyond.

The old man dies, but Logan’s adventure doesn’t end there. He smells trouble. Members of rival Japanese gangs are dogging the old man’s remaining family members everywhere, with their attention focused on the man’s gorgeous granddaughter, Mariko (Tao Okamoto). There’s also a fellow mutant (Svetlana Khodchenkova) manipulating gangsters and trying to seize the old man’s family power for herself. And most troubling of all, Logan’s not healing like he used to; he’s getting tired and weak, and he wonders if the old man’s offer of immortality might have really been a great opportunity.

What Works?

The first great thing about The Wolverine (based on a 1982 limited comics series by Chris Claremont and Frank Miller) is that it’s based in Japan: I can’t be the only person who’s tired of seeing New York City or Los Angeles as the setting for every blockbuster (which typically means they get blown to bits). The change of pace allows for original, refreshing casting, and a certain cultural texture that keeps this from feeling like just another Marvel movie (it also doesn’t hurt that pretty much all the baddies are acrobatic, sword-wielding ninjas, so the fight scenes are pretty invigorating). It’s also anything but a one-trick pony: it’s ideas don’t end with Wolverine goes to Japan, there’s plentiful twists and turns, and the lurking question “do you think Wolverine should give up immortality so he can really live, then rest”? It’s a layered, thoughtful question, that could bring each audience member some perspective. And the opening re-creation of the Nagasaki bombing—complete with a clear-as-day shot of the bomb dropping—is absolutely mesmerizing.

                    

Even though the character Wolverine only really has two settings—growling one-liners and bellowing in pain and/or rage—Jackman has to be one of the most watchable actors alive. Having proven he can do a lot more than this with his Oscar-nominated turn in December’s Les Miserables, Jackman slides back into the claws with ease and proves as tough and heroic as ever before. While Wolverine is the main focal point and everything else revolves around him, Japanese actresses Tao Okamoto and Rila Fukushima make positive, likeable impressions as well.

What Doesn’t Work?

The lack of other mutants. Not only do you wish to see Magneto or Storm or Iceman or Pyro or somebody else with real powers, you’re also saddled with the notion that, at the end of The Last Stand, people were dead, sure, but you got the idea the surviving X-Men would stay together. Thus, the fact that Wolverine’s off by his lonesome is depressing and doesn’t seem to fit with the other movies. Oh, and like most other comic book-based movies, The Wolverine has trouble keeping a steady pulse when there are no fights going on, and even when there are, all the main fights go on way too long (the build-up is almost always better then the climax in movies like this). Famke Janssen’s cameos as Jean (in dream/hallucination sequences) are groan-inducing eye-rollers—Wolfie’s idea of “heaven” is depicted as being in bed with Jean while she sports a low-cut, lacy top. Also, for the second time in the last big blockbusters I’ve seen (The Lone Ranger being the other), I can’t fathom why a troubled hero, who appears to have found peace with a certain woman (Wolverine with Mariko, here) won’t stay and live with her, rather than run off because that’s what he does. The depressing truth is, it’s probably because the idea of Wolverine living happily and peacefully in Tokyo doesn’t seem like it could yield very marketable sequels.

 Content: Like most Marvel Comics movies, there’s a lot of fighting and assorted mayhem, but between the shaky-cam (how I do hate shaky-cam) and the necessity of maintaining a mostly family-friendly vibe, there’s hardly a drop of blood, even as our hero slices and dices people with his adamantium claws. There are a lot of intense moments, including poisonings, sword-fights, and a part where Wolverine has to perform an emergency heart surgery on himself, so little kiddies will get a bit of a shock, but most fanboys will love it. Jackman also uses a couple four-letter words.

Bottom Line: It’s not the best X-Men movie, but it’s not the worst, either: The Wolverine has its flaws but a change of scenery, some new characters, and some interesting dilemmas make this one of the summer’s best blockbusters so far.

A Good Day to Die Hard (2013)

Directed by John Moore
Screenplay by Skip Woods; Based on Characters Created by Roderick Thorp
Rated R
Length: 98 minutes

The Wolverine (2013)

Directed by James Mangold
Screenplay by Mark Bomback and Scott Frank; Based on the 1982 comic series “Wolverine” by Chris Claremont and Frank Miller
Rated PG-13
Length: 126 minutes