POMPEII

Pompeii (2014)

Grade: B-

Starring: Kit Harrington, Emily Browning, Kiefer Sutherland, Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbaje, Jessica Lucas, Jared Harris, Carrie-Anne Moss and Sacha Roiz

Premise: A gladiator and a young noblewoman begin an unlikely relationship during the last days before Mt. Vesuvius’ eruption.

Rated PG-13 for intense thematic material including strong violence, constant scenes of peril and destruction, disturbing images and some blood

Whenever Pompeii remembers that it’s supposed to be a dramatization of a catastrophic historical event that is believed to have claimed some 16,000 lives, it actually manages to be pretty gripping. Whenever it tries to be anything else—star-crossed romance, masculine revenge fantasy, political intrigue thriller or period costume drama—it falls flat on its face, proving little more than a send-up of a bunch of better movies (an appropriate title for all of the pre-Vesuvius action here might be ‘Gladiator & Juliet’). That said, the last half hour is pretty tremendous, as it keeps the action coming and coming, and proves by turns riveting and exhilarating. It’s not terrible, overall. In fact, with a fairly-appealing cast, sturdy visuals, and some well-executed action scenes, it’s actually pretty decent for a February release. It could at least tide over guys who can’t wait for the next 300. Just don’t expect it to be the next 300, or Gladiator, or Romeo & Juliet or…well, you get it.

Plot

Raised a slave after his tribe of Celtic horse-herders was massacred by Roman legions during his childhood, “The Celt” (Game of Thrones’ Kit Harrington) has made a name for himself on the gladiatorial circuit, proving a warrior of uncommon speed and strength. With his handlers looking to use his advanced skills to entertain the Roman Empire’s nobles, he’s sent to the great port city of Pompeii, circa 79 AD. En route, The Celt ministers to an injured horse before the eyes of Cassia (Emily Browning), the daughter of a noble Pompeiian lord (Jared Harris), who’s returning to her hometown after a year in Rome. Cassia takes note of The Celt’s good looks and quiet wisdom as she returns to her family’s lush villa, but The Celt soon seems on a collision course with his doom, as he’s immediately slotted to partake in a killer showdown with reigning champion fighter Atticus (British-born actor Adewale Akinnuoye-Agbale). This bravura mano-a-mano bout will be presented on the last day of the feast of Vacanalia to entertain a visiting Roman senator (Kiefer Sutherland), who actually has his eye on Cassia. As Mt. Vesuvius rumbles ominously in the background, Cassia tries to fend off the advances of the power-mad senator and has another chance meeting with The Celt, at which point she falls for him. Meanwhile, The Celt, though sturdy and cocksure, is slowly becoming actual comrades—if not friends—with Atticus, who appreciates the young man’s spunk. But they’ll have to fight each other in the ring, and Atticus has some extra motivation—if he wins the bout, it’s said he’ll win his freedom. But it might not even matter, because all hell is about to break loose.

What Works?

Even the things in Pompeii that work are eerily (and obviously) reminiscent of features from other films. An extended battle scene in which The Celt, Atticus, and a handful of their fellow gladiators are forced to play the losing side in a re-enactment of a famous Roman conquest is borrowed wholesale from Ridley Scott’s Oscar-winning Russell Crowe epic, but it’s still one of the film’s highlights. Atticus himself is a clichéd type character, with Akinnuoye-Agbale taking on the Strong, Noble African role that’s been played by a number of other actors through the years, most notably Djimon Hounsou (in Gladiator; not to mention Blood Diamond, Amistad and The Four Feathers). That said, the strapping actor (whose other credits include Thor: The Dark World, The Bourne Identity and a stint on TV’s LOST) is the only major player who emerges from this B-grade drama’s clichés with his dignity largely intact.

Once things really get going, with Vesuvius erupting and buildings collapsing, Pompeii shows that it has a pulse, with disaster sequences impressive enough to remind one of Deep Impact and Titanic, among others. The visual effects team deserves credit, as the mountain’s explosion, lava flows and collapses are all believable, and this comes after some good work from the set and costume people, who make everything suitably elaborate and eye-catching. Even though we’ve seen many a costume drama, some pleasing aesthetic touches are always appreciated.

What Doesn’t Work?

Too much, sadly. As the star-crossed lovers, Harrington and Browning struggle to generate chemistry from characters who aren’t interesting. His Celt is largely a blank slate, with only snatches of cockiness, wit and quiet strength behind his fake-looking abs (most of Harrington's good moments come during some cliched but enjoyable buddy-bonding scenes with Agbale's Atticus). Her Cassia is equally devoid of personality, possessing only Something Resembling Decency, with perhaps a touch of Something Resembling Spunk. (Also, am I the only person who thinks Browning, with her huge eyes and prominent lips, looks like something between a bobblehead and a fish? I hate to be mean, but once I thought it, I couldn't stop). Anyway, Harrington and Browning's Meet Cute is ridiculously lame, and their next meeting--the one where they really fall for each other--is even worse, patently absurd. Until a few halfway-decent final moments, we don't care for them as a couple at all.

Apart from our two resident cuties and Agbale, the only actor who makes much of an impression is Kiefer Sutherland, and it’s a bad one. It’s difficult to decide whether his frothing-at-the-mouth evil dude senator is more Jack Bauer having an especially aggravating 24 (or 48-72) hour period, or a more obviously-evil reincarnation of his shifty characters from Stand By Me and A Few Good Men, with a bad accent added for effect.

Acting’s not the only thing that doesn’t work. Slow-mo effects are used to amp up the drama where it doesn’t need to be amped, and there’s a strategically-placed Screaming Child Separated From Her Mother In A Crowd scene that is far too obvious an attempt to wring tears from the audience. And then there’s a logic-impaired scene where The Celt and Atticus face off with the senator’s cold-blooded bodyguard, Proculus (Sacha Roiz), in the arena….after Vesuvius has begun its fatal eruption. The coliseum is collapsing, the city is partly burning and partly flooding and burning rocks are raining from the exploding volcano in the background, but they decide they're gonna have to fight because the movie (apparently) needs another climactic big fight. Aren’t such things as petty feuds forgotten when you should be running for your life or you will ALL DIE? Apparently not. What’s even worse is that The Celt actually had a reason to want to fight this guy (per the movie’s childhood-flashback prologue, that man actually killed his father), but when he runs off to find Cassia to try and get her safety, that leaves…Atticus and Proculus, who have no personal beef at all, and don't even know each other, to fight it out while the city is burning and flooding and Vesuvius is erupting, leaving whoever survives their duel scant chance of surviving much longer. Sure, there’s an ongoing theme about how gladiators are as tough as Romans and worth as much, but isn’t it worth forgetting when no one is watching and a volcano is erupting nearby? Like I said, logic-impaired. That’s just lazy writing.

Content

Pompeii can get intense. There’s enough PG-13 bloodletting during the gladiator combat scenes for the squeamish to get antsy, and, per Disaster Movie Coda, things get pretty dramatic during the eruption and its aftermath, with lava, fires, collapsing buildings and a tidal wave all providing significant obstacles even before the ash cloud comes (this being the ash cloud that famously preserved the remains of hundreds of Pompeii’s citizens in the positions they were in when they died). Lots of people's death are hinted at, if not outright shown. Might want to leave the youngest kids at home for this one.

Bottom Line

Its Soap-Opera-In-Costumes “story” is poorly-executed and mostly reminiscent of a bunch of other movies more worth your time, but Pompeii has some decent gladiatorial combat scenes, and its re-creation of the epic disaster is pretty harrowing. It could make for a decent Friday night Redbox rental some time in the future.

Pompeii (2014)

Directed by Paul W.S. Anderson

Written For the Screen by Janet Scott Batchler, Lee Batchler and Michael Robert Johnson

Rated PG-13

Length: 105 minutes